How to Activate
Extreme Self-Confidence and Destroy Chronic Anxiety and Fear
When I was growing up, I had virtually no self-confidence.
A
chronic stutter had convinced me to keep my mouth shut; better not speak at all
than speak and get laughed at.
Heavy pornography
usage had eroded my ability to connect with people; I would frequently make
huge conversational gaffs when I’d try to hold a conversation. “Look out,
huge butt coming through!” I cackled stupidly as a girl I liked walked past
me to her seat during a football game.
Do you
ever just want to go back in time and…repeatedly smack your face with your
shoe?
Most
people don’t have high self-confidence. A life lived for others and no real
effort to improve has left them wildly insecure, full of self-doubt and
confusion.
The
solution is confidence and self-belief. But these aren’t innate gifts, as most
people might think. Motivational speaker David Schwartz once wrote:
“All confidence is
acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence. Those people you know who
radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, have acquired their confidence,
every bit of it.”
If you
want to activate extreme self-confidence and finally eliminate chronic worry
and anxiety, you need to build it yourself.
Here’s
how.
Trade Your Mediocre Behaviors For Those of Successful
People
“The key to becoming world-class in your endeavors is to
build your performance around world-class routines.” -Darren Hardy
Most
people constantly practice mediocre, substandard routines and behaviors.
There
is a distinct difference between how successful and unsuccessful people
operate. They think, speak, and carry themselves very differently.
Successful
people with high self-confidence weren’t just born that way — they became that way. NYT
Best-Selling author Grant Cardone once said, “Success is not
something that happens to you, it’s something that happens because of you and
the actions you take.”
Success
and self-confidence must be grown, nurtured, and trained. Anyone from any
background, regardless of upbringing/social class/ability can cultivate this
skill.
It
requires deliberate and intentional training, though. Like any skill, it’s
grown over time. Those who put in the work, get the results.
To produce extraordinary results, you don’t need an
unlimited budget; you just need a better tool kit.” -Tim Ferriss
If you
want to have the type of confidence, focus, and charisma that enables you to
achieve your ideal lifestyle, you need to model your behavior on others who’ve
already succeeded.
Want
100% financial independence? Find a mentor who’s already done it.
Want
to own your business? There are dozens of incredible people who teach how to do
it online, for free.
Want a
strong, healthy body? I think you see where I’m going with this.
Trade
in your outdated and unhelpful actions with the actions a successful person
would do.
There
are people, right now, living the life you want. Read their
stuff. Buy their courses. Follow their instructions.
If you
want a different life, you need to do things differently.
“One of the greatest turning points in my life occurred
when I stopped casually waiting for success and started to approach it as a
duty, obligation, and responsibility.” -Grant Cardone
Act While You Feel Fear
“Act while you feel fear rather than waiting until you
feel unafraid.” -David Richo, How to Be An Adult
The
world’s top salespeople still dread picking up their phone sometimes.
The
world’s most accomplished athletes still get nerves before big games. Bill
Russell, one of the greatest players in NBA history (winner of 11 championships
in 13 years) often vomited before big games due to nerves and anxiety.
When
asked about how he felt when he released a movie, legendary film director
Martin Scorcese made this remark:
“If you don’t get
physically ill seeing your first rough cut, something is wrong.”
The
world’s top performers act while they are afraid.
Don’t
wait until the fear is gone. Act while you feel fear.
I
remember being in love with this cute girl in middle school. I barely spoke a
word to her in class. I was terrified of rejection, of stuttering over my words
if I revealed my feelings.
On
the last day of school, I was determined to tell her. I can
still remember how profoundly terrified I was as I walked up to her group of
friends (why are girls always surrounded by an army of friends!) and I
nervously asked if I could speak with her alone.
I told
her I liked her, and asked if she’d be my girlfriend.
She
said yes. I think we awkwardly hugged, and that was it.
The
ending isn’t important (we didn’t speak to each other all vacation, and then
she broke up with me through her friends when school started, OK?).
But if
I had waited until I didn’t feel afraid? I would have never talked
to her. I would have regretted it for years.
Author
Mark Manson once joked, “How do you get rid of ‘runner’s block?’ You go for
a f*cking run.”
If
you’re scared of something, the easiest way to gain confidence is, well…just do
it.
There
are some phenomenal writers and authors out there that we’ve
never heard of — they’re too scared to
publish. As writer Jon Westenberg once wrote: “You just have to outrun everyone who doesn’t have the guts to publish
their work.”
Act
while you feel fear. Even if you get unceremoniously dumped, you’ll feel better
and better.
“One of the major differences between successful and
unsuccessful people is that successful people look for problems to resolve,
whereas the latter make every attempt to avoid them.” -Grant Cardone
What
happens when you avoid problems?
You
develop a bad reputation for dumping your work onto somebody else. Your
personal integrity is chipped away. Fear and anxiety begin brewing; “Will
this come back to haunt me later?” you wonder. Your peace of mind is lost.
But
what happens when you decide to seek problems?
You
become someone with the sterling reputation of a “problem-solver.” You attract
respect and admiration. “The world gives to the givers and takes from the
takers,” Adam Grant wrote in his book, Give and Take. You
become someone people trust. Help naturally flows to problem-solvers — even if you don’t succeed!
The
reason most people struggle with self-confidence is because they’ve proven to
themselves over and over that they “can’t do it.” They’ve tried eating
healthier, exercising, being more productive, drinking less, but nothing seems
to work.
If you
were a business, would a customer trust you’d follow through on your word?
The
answer is no for more people. To remedy this, you need to start building trust
in yourself again. Your word must be your bond. If you say you’ll do something,
that means something.
So
seek problems out. Give yourself some reps. Failure doesn’t matter; Seth Godin
once said, “If I fail more times than you, I win.”
What
matters is the practice. This builds up your self-confidence and self-trust
Anthony Moore
https://medium.com/the-mission/how-to-activate-extreme-self-confidence-and-destroy-chronic-anxiety-and-fear-d8c678b16010
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