The Only 7 Things You Can
Control in Life
In my experience, life can be pretty
complicated. Although most of us have plenty to manage in our day-to-day
lives—jobs, relationships, family, exercise, sleep, you name it—there are
really only a few things we truly have control over. I changed my life by
identifying these variables and learning how to master them. And I think you
can too.
Happiness and success (however you define either one) have a lot to do with each other. In fact, greater happiness has been found to lead to greater success. I think both can be achieved with some simple and straightforward habit hacking, or making small tweaks to your routine which, little by little, add up to major changes in how you’re living your life.
Happiness and success (however you define either one) have a lot to do with each other. In fact, greater happiness has been found to lead to greater success. I think both can be achieved with some simple and straightforward habit hacking, or making small tweaks to your routine which, little by little, add up to major changes in how you’re living your life.
We make millions of little decisions all the
time, and the result of each one is either net positive, net negative, or
neutral. The more net positive decisions we can make (and the fewer net
negative ones), the better. Net positive decisions—brushing your teeth before
bed, eating healthy
meals, and regularly going to the gym—help you
feel good and bring you one step closer to your goals despite the effort they
entail.
Net negative decisions, such as filling up on
food that doesn’t make you feel good, skipping the nightly teeth-brushing,
letting that downer friend cramp your style, or forgoing the gym—make it
difficult to reach your goals because your decisions don't make you feel good,
empowered, or confident. They take more out of you than they give, interfering
with your energy levels, sapping your motivation, and clouding your focus.
Let go of all the stuff you can't control and start using
your time to master what you can control.
While the healthier choice may seem harder,
it pays off bigger. And you’ll be surprised by just how easy these choices can
be once you make the effort. By learning how to master the seven things that
are within our control, you will start to make more net positive decisions,
fewer net negative ones, and find that empowering, positive behaviors become
second nature. So let go of all the stuff you can't control and start using
your time to master what you can control. Before you know it, you'll be living
your best life ever!
1. Your Breath
Most people don't even think about
their breathing (I myself used to talk for many seconds at a time
and forget to breathe!). Breathing is obviously important, but so is the
ability to focus on it. Can you feel your chest expand when you inhale, and get
softer when you exhale? Where do you feel the rise and fall most? Breathing is
the ultimate hack to relax and slow racing thoughts. As soon as you experience
something unpleasant, just take a few deep breaths and focus not on how
horrible the situation was, but on your breathing. When you focus on your
breath, you can count “one” as you inhale, “two” as you exhale. When you get to
10, start over. I bet you'll start to feel better and more grounded
immediately.
2. Your Self-Talk
We all have a voice in our heads. That voice
can often be critical and get in the way of our happiness and success. Try to
count the times you engage in negative
self-talk each day. It may surprise you how often
you criticize yourself. If you can learn to recognize this Debbie Downer of an
inner voice and replace it with engouraging statements, your attitude will
start to change. Try talking to yourself with compassion. For example, instead
of telling yourself you’re not good enough, remind yourself that you are worthy
of love and attention, or that it’s okay to make mistakes—we all do!
3. Your Gratitude
If you can practice being grateful on a daily
basis, your happiness and productivity will increase. Cultivating gratitude trains us
to focus on hope, to remain inspired, and to be optimistic, lending us the
courage and resilience to persevere in the face of setbacks (on top of giving
us a mood boost that keeps us coasting).
4. Your Body Language
According to social psychologist Amy
Cuddy, you can demonstrate power and confidence
simply by changing the way you hold your body. For example, adopting a powerful
stance—arms on your hips and feet planted wide, causing you to take up more
space—increases testosterone and decreases the stress hormone cortisol. The
result? This "power posing" will make you feel more confident. Think
about this before you meet with a potential client, go to a job interview, or
even just before you leave the house.
5. Your Mental and Physical Fitness
I don’t know about you, but I come up with my
best ideas while I'm on the elliptical. Exercising is a chance to just listen to my music and
think about nothing. It's glorious. You don't have to go to the gym, but we all
ought to take 20 minutes out of our days to get up and move. Motion helps free
your mind and body to better tap into your creative potential. Walking has
literally been found to increase
creativity. Getting in some movement will help
creativity and also focus.
Giving your brain a workout is as easy as it is important for you to do. Whether you play Sudoku, do crossword puzzles, or read non-fiction books, your brain will feel the difference. You can get a similar benefit from meditation. Just 20 to 30 minutes has been shown to increase focus, reduce stress and anxiety, and even dial down physical pain.
Giving your brain a workout is as easy as it is important for you to do. Whether you play Sudoku, do crossword puzzles, or read non-fiction books, your brain will feel the difference. You can get a similar benefit from meditation. Just 20 to 30 minutes has been shown to increase focus, reduce stress and anxiety, and even dial down physical pain.
6. Your Diet
Even though it might taste great, junk food
is a net negative. It makes your brain
and body slow and sad. Consuming too much sugar has been linked to all kinds of medical conditions (including
metabolic syndrome and cardiovascular disease), not to mention mood swings and crashes that kill productivity. Plus, processed
foods have been proven to exacerbate, if not cause, chronic diseases like
diabetes, obesity, and even breast cancer. Simple fixes like keeping a bag
of carrots or a bowl of fruit handy help us pick up the healthier choice when
we're depleted and hungry and reaching for the closest snack. Easy-to-whip-up,
convenient-to-carry portable snacks can be delicious and nutritious.
7. Your Sleep
Sleep
is critical for focus, concentration, job and
academic performance, keeping your appetite under control, and a host of other
positive health outcomes. In order to hack sleep, you have to set a routine.
I'm asleep by 9 p.m. and I wake up to watch the sun rise. Watching the sun rise
is beautiful, and it's a net positive that I’m grateful for. If your brain
can't calm down while you're trying to fall asleep, tell yourself, “I'm proud
of the work I accomplished today, I'm going to let my brain and body rest
now."
3 Tips to Achieve Your Goals
1. Visualize it.
Whatever it is you most want to be doing, you
must be able to see
yourself doing it. For most of us, the work we do while
procrastinating is probably the work we should be doing for the rest of our
lives. Practice visualizing this concept with your eyes closed for a few
seconds. Where are you working? What's the room like? What's the temperature
like? How's the lighting? How do you feel? Are you drinking a cup of coffee or
a glass of water? What time of the day is it? The more senses you involve the
better. Keep imagining this for yourself in order to increase the likelihood of
these visions becoming reality.
2. Believe in it.
You have to believe that you already have
everything you need to be successful. Remember: You don't need money to try out
an idea. There are plenty of free and low-cost ways to get started with all
kinds of projects—social media, blogging, smartphone apps, or fundraising
sites, just to name a few. And when it comes to having the courage and can-do
spirit to get going, well, that's something you already have in spades.
3. Talk it up.
Talk about what you do everywhere you go. You
won't believe the people you stumble upon who are willing to help. Whatever
pain you're healing or problem you're solving or project you’re launching,
share your knowledge and experiences with everyone who can benefit from them.
When you help as many people as you can, those people will connect you to all
kinds of resources—everything you need to get started. Just let it happen, and
smile as often as possible.
This post was written by Cat Goldberg, a
Sarah Lawrence alum, San Francisco-based neuromarketer,
http://greatist.com/grow/what-you-can-control-for-happiness-success?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_content=story2_title&utm_campaign=daily_newsletter_2016-04-07_mails_daily_new_header
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