PERSONAL SPECIAL.... Step up your spunk

Step up your spunk

Follow these tips to change the way others perceive you and boost your confidence

The most successful people aren’t necessarily born the most beautiful, talented, or into the most educated families — but they have mastered the art of believing in themselves.

Coach and author, Susie Moore, who has helped many increase their self-confidence at work, says that confidence can be learned. And it’s not all about ‘faking it till you make it’. It’s about harnessing some valuable habits that, over time, transform not just how you feel about yourself, but also how others perceive you. So, if you want to impress as a colleague, a boss, a vendor, a date, an interviewee, these helpful confidence hacks will get you further, faster.

Puff it up

Confident people don’t contract their bodies. Often, when we’re feeling unsure of ourselves, it’s subconsciously reflected in our posture. We slump our shoulders, cross our legs, and take up as little space as possible. Taking up more physical space is commanding. You can boost your body language by just standing or sitting up straight, crossing your arm over an empty chair next to you, or even by adding a simple shouldersback, chin up and smile. These adjustments go a long way in projecting poise. Allow yourself to be visible.

Use words wisely

Just like our physical stance matters, so does what comes out of our mouths. Consider the difference between two people discussing a new work project. One might beam, “Yes, I’m managing project X. I’m excited about the new challenge and am enjoying recruiting the most skilled team members. We’ve got a great foundation in place.”

Another might say: “Right now project X is mine. The whole thing’s new and a bit daunting. I hope I can find the right people because it’s bare bones right now (nervous laugh).”

Who do you think will launch the most successful project? Who’ll attract the best talent? Whose team would you want to be on? Affirmative language can go a long way. Use I can, I will, I’m going to, instead of I’ll try, I think, and I don’t know. Even if you feel uncertain, you can still use certainty in language. Another tip: Speak slowly. Scared people often rush to get their words out. Force yourself if you must, and don’t be afraid to take pauses — it works.

Be front and fast

Have you ever noticed, in any meeting or event of a decent size, that the back seats fill up first? Be a front seater. Also notice how some people plod around, looking aimless? Walk 25 per cent faster. This makes you appear engaged, influential, and busy.

Nix the negativity

Negativity repels people, even when it’s not directed at us. It also shows a lack of self-control. When you cruise the positive path, other people will often rise to meet you there. They’ll want to be more like you. Optimism isn’t naïve, it’s a sign of leadership.

Ask questions

Asking for what you want is terribly underrated. It’s a shame how many opportunities we let slip by simply because we don’t ask for stuff. Whether you’re asking for a window table at a restaurant, for the salary you’re worth, or for a coworker to lower the volume on their headphones — asking is assertive. People respect askers. So, dial it up where it feels fair, and when you win, don’t feel guilty for a second.

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