How
do you motivate yourself to do something you don’t want to but you HAVE to?
Start
with answering these three questions:
Question
#1: Why don’t I want to do something?
When we
say, “I don’t want to” or “I don’t feel like it” we are tapping into our
emotions and therefore we are setting ourselves up to giving an emotional
response. So where are the emotions coming from? Is it just your current mood
or is this a typical reaction to this particular task or others similar to it?
Or is it just a reaction that has become habitual? If it is, maybe it’s your
fixed mindset talking.
·
What’s a fixed mindset? It’s
your belief that your personality, skill set, and strengths are “fixed” i.e.
you have them from birth, and that that’s just how it is.
·
How does this play out in your everyday
life? You say, “I don’t want to do this because I know I won’t be good
at it!” or “I can’t do this because it will be painful and hard, and it will
take me a long time to do it, so why try?”
·
What’s better than a fixed mindset? Try
adopting a growth mindset: believing that you can cultivate strengths and
skills through your efforts. The benefit: a growth mindset can be hugely
empowering! Read Carol Dweck’s book Mindset:
The New Psychology of Success to
better understand how you can make lasting change with continuous effort.
Question
#2: Why do I have to do something?
The
first thing to do is identify where this sense of obligation comes from. It can
be external or internal.
·
Is someone else telling you that you have to? It
could be a parent, a professor, a manager, a friend, a partner. Consider where
the advice is coming from: do they have your best interests in mind, are they
considerate of your future, or is it advice given only from their perspective
but may collide with your own values and goals? Use some critical thinking to
see if this advice is valuable to you, and if it isn’t, consider other options.
·
Are you telling yourself that you have
to? If you know that there is something that’s important for you to
do, then it’s much easier to come up with a solution. All you need to do is
make the task less of a chore, and more of an important piece of work that is
critical to your personal development. How do you do that? Read on.
Question
#3. How can I motivate myself and start doing something as painlessly as
possible?
The
short answer: You need to connect to the big picture. The key to keeping
yourself motivated (whether that’s working out, studying for exams, keeping up
with your team at work, paying your bills, even building your personal
relationships) is to think beyond this moment. Take some time to brainstorm
your life and what you want to do with it. For example:
·
Think about the plans you have for
yourself (graduating from high school or college, getting a job, saving
up for a trip, making plans to move to a different country or just another
city, starting your own business) and what you can do tomorrow, the day after,
the following week, month, the rest of the year in order to achieve your goals.
·
Then, think even beyond that: What is
your ultimate goal? Identify it: think about what you consider most important
for you personally and why. Who do you want to become? Think about your ideal
self: what does that version of you look like, what do they do every day, where
do they live, what kind of job do they thrive in, what is the lifestyle they
cultivate, who are their friends, what makes them happy.
·
Why it is important to ask these questions:
·
Bottom line: you need to make the connection between what you
are doing today (no matter how mundane, hard, or impossible it may seem right
now) with who you want to become in the future (the version of yourself that
will benefit from all of your actions). When you do, you’re more likely to
stick to your plans, work on your personal goals, and build your unique life
strategy. Now that is quite an empowering way to live, don’t you think?
·
Nela Canovic, Working
hard to optimize this supercomputer.
FROM QUORA
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