7 Steps to Transforming Yourself From
Who You Are to Who You Want to Be
Humans are not meant to stop growing. In fact, no living thing
on earth is meant to stop growing. We are all alive, reaching for the sun.
Progress in life is all about reinvention. I am going to preface
all of this by saying that reinvention is not the same thing as endlessly
seeking reward or achievement. There is a difference. Seeking an achievement
usually implies an "end." You win the trophy and then you're "done."
That's not what you want to aim for--because as soon as you say you're
"done," you are no longer reaching and stretching yourself, which
means you stop growing.
Reinvention, however, leaves the end open--which is actually a
good thing. Reinvention is what allows you endless opportunities to continue
exploring new parts of yourself. Exploration is growth, and growth in this
sense is not outward facing but inward.
Whenever you find something about yourself you want to change,
you need to look for a way to reinvent it.
1. See yourself outside yourself.
Imagine you are a sculptor. A sculptor looks at his or her piece
of stone and endlessly questions new ways to shape it. And if he or she thinks
of something to change, there is no emotional attachment. They just do it. This
is how you need to see yourself--as a work of art, always in progress. No need
to get upset, or come down hard on yourself when you see something you do not
like. Instead, like an artist, just get to work.
2. Find the habit associated with the thing you want to change.
Far too often, people focus too much on the thing they want to
change instead of the habits that formed the thing in the first place. For
example: They try to solve being overweight with doing a lot of ab exercises,
without acknowledging that the problem is their poor diet. To truly reinvent
aspects of yourself, you have to find the habit that created that trait in the
first place--and then adjust the habit.
3. Practice every day, no matter what.
Change is not something you do some days and then take a break
from other days. Change is a shift in lifestyle. It requires daily dedication,
to the point where that new habit takes the place of an old one and no longer
requires conscious effort.
4. Set realistic goals.
You can't just wake up one morning and say, "I'm not going
to be impatient anymore!" Yes, you are. And you actually help yourself by
acknowledging that a bad habit like that won't be solved immediately. Instead,
set the goal to be more patient during your team meeting that happens every
morning. Use that as an isolated practice space and subconscious reminder of
what it is you want to practice. Focus on that for a few weeks, and then go
from there.
5. Constantly look in the mirror.
Things get dangerous when you refuse to stop and really look at
yourself--when you avoid self-reflection. There is a time and a place for
"go go go" mode, and then there is a time and place for reflection
mode. Both are necessary. And you will quickly find that unless you take the time
to ask yourself the tough questions, you will fall off track and not know how
you got there.
6. Surround yourself with people who will tell you the truth.
If everyone around you is telling you "yes," then you
have a serious problem. You need people who are going to challenge and question
you. You need people who won't be afraid to tell you the truth. Tough feedback
is essential for personal growth.
7. You have to take risks.
You will never become the person you want to be by continuing to
be the person you currently are. Growth's only request is that you step out of
your comfort zone. That's it. And unless you are willing to take that risk, to
take that uncomfortable leap into the unknown, you will forever stay exactly
where you are.
Summary
Reinvention is an art. It is a process. It is not a "quick
fix" or an "overnight solution." It is a deliberate practice,
day in and day out, until you realize who it is you want to be, you already
were all alon
BY NICOLAS COLE
http://www.inc.com/nicolas-cole/7-steps-to-transform-yourself-from-who-you-are-to-who-you-want-to-be.html
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