PATIENCE SPECIAL How To Train Your Brain To Be More
Patient
When it comes to
motivation, your brain is a little like a traffic light. Here's how to rewire
it.
Are you a patient person? Are you sure?
Most of think we're pretty good at
waiting for the things we want. But in reality, you're probably more impatient
than you'd like to admit. It's hard not to get what you want right now—that's just how
humans are built.
The good news is that there are a few things you can do to improve
your patience. The bad news is that before you can implement them, you first
need to understand where your impatience comes from. Here's how.
Your brain has two distinct systems that work
in tandem to help you achieve your goals.
On occasion, [your brain] engages
goals you no longer want to pursue—or least don’t want to pursue at that
moment.
You can think of one as the "go system," which involves
structures deep in the brain. It engages your goals, gives them energy, and
directs you to focus on information related to achieving them. This system is
extraordinarily efficient. On occasion, though, it engages goals you no longer
want to pursue—or least don’t want to pursue at that moment.
When this happens, the second system in your brain kicks in. It
involves your brain's frontal lobes inhibits actions the "go system"
is suggesting. You can think of this one as the "stop system," and
it's generally much less effective by comparison. It's impaired by stress,
drugs and alcohol, and even overuse.
So when you're impatient to get
something done, it means that your "go system" has you strongly fired
up to do it right now, and your "stop system" is having a
hard time holding you back. The problem is that even if you successfully keep
that urge at bay, you're still going to feel the discomfort of
impatience—unless you find a way to disengage the go system from its dogged
pursuit of the goal.
Got it? Great! Now it's
time to look at a few ways of doing that . . . thanks for your patience!
The go system focuses on goals that can be achieved in the world
as your brain perceives it to be. The more distant a goal is from you, the less
that it motivates you. So if you can create distance between yourself and the
goal, you can decrease the energy your brain's go system puts behind it.
And luckily, there are lots of ways to create distance. Obviously,
physical distance can help; the adage "out of sight, out of mind"
really does work. Mental distance can help move yourself out of the direct path
of temptation, too. It's no secret that humans enjoy savoring the experience of
being tempted, and that can put a lot of pressure on our capacity for patience.
You think about all of the juicy details, which increases your desire, making
you impatient.
But you don't need to become an ascetic who tries to eliminate
temptation altogether. Instead, think about those temptations more abstractly.
If you're lusting after a new car that you can’t quite afford right now, don’t
obsess over its wood trim and efficient engine. It's okay to keep thinking
about it, but think about it only as a vehicle or mode of transportation. Your
go system will soon start to latch on to something else.
In order to help you with goal
achievement, your go system also tends to focus you on just one goal at a time.
That's why you get impatient. Everything else gets less important when your
go system engages a particular goal strongly. That means that if you can compel
your brain to fixate on a different goal, the temptation
you're fighting will get less strong.
So find something else you also enjoy and immerse yourself in it.
While you're pursuing that other goal, you won’t feel the strong pull of
impatience as badly as you did before.
It can be hard to disengage the go system all by yourself. Your
natural cycle of thoughts will often bring you back to the desirable aspects of
whatever you're struggling to stay patient about. Your mind creates its own
vicious cycle that strengthens the go system's grip on the goal, making it
harder and harder for you to avoid acting on it.
Humans are a social species.
We're wired to give our attention to the people around us and to share their
goals.
When this happens, you quite
literally need help—from someone else. Humans are a social species. We're wired
to give our attention to the people around us and to share their goals. When
you find another person (a friend, family member, or colleague) who doesn't share
your obsession, your interactions with them will lead your go system to pick up
on what they want, which creates an opening for your brain's stop system to
pump the brakes.
While you're with that person, you won’t be the same impatient soul
you were when you were alone. In this sense, anyway, training your brain to be
more patient may have an unexpected side effect: it can bring people together.
ART MARKMAN
https://www.fastcompany.com/3064255/your-most-productive-self/how-to-train-your-brain-to-be-more-patient
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