The Right Way (And Right Reasons) To
Disagree With Your Boss
Expressing dissent
doesn't mean risking your job—unless you go about it the wrong way.
You don't have to accept every assignment your boss adds to your
plate, nor do you have to hold back your dissenting opinions. Many employees
worry that challenging a supervisor might damage their work relationships or
even threaten their jobs. And in some cases, rightly or wrongly, those fears
are justified.
More often than not, though, companies benefit from assertive
employees (including junior ones) who offer fresh ideas, and good managers
understand that. To do their own jobs well, many supervisors depend on their
direct reports' valuable feedback—just as long as it's delivered respectfully
and for the right reasons. Here's a quick guide to disagreeing with your boss
productively.
The best way to make sure your
views come across tactfully is to deliver them on a basis of shared respect. If
you're new to your team, that means putting in the work to establish strong
relationships before speaking up. Workplace
disagreements can be very constructive if everyone
involved trusts one another.
Think before you speak, then
speak calmly when you do.
That's true of employee-supervisor relationships, too, and the
things you should do to build that trust are pretty obvious: Strive to always
meet your deadlines and deliver high-quality work. Be reliable and present,
showing up to work on time and putting in the extra effort when it really
matters. Perhaps most importantly, do all of this with a positive attitude.
This way, when it comes time to differ, you'll already have laid the foundation
to do it constructively.
Don't just voice your disagreement right out of the gate—preface
it with a positive remark. You can start with a compliment or observation about
something that's working really well. Then acknowledge that you have some
concerns, too, and offer suggestions on how you think those concerns might be
best addressed. It’s also okay to raise those concerns and then offer to
brainstorm some solutions together. That will indicate that you're committed to
thinking through this problem collaboratively, rather than just nitpicking or
pointing out a fault for your boss to go about correcting alone.
No matter what you say, it's crucial to watch how you say it.
Because you and your boss probably both care about the work you're both doing,
it's natural to expect your boss to have some strong beliefs about the right
way of doing something. This can lead to disagreements escalating into heated
arguments.
So when you do have a disagreement to voice, think before you
speak, then speak calmly when you do. Avoid using tones that communicate anger
or annoyance, or rude body language like an eye roll or crossed arms. This is
basically common sense, but in the heat of the moment, when you're anxious to
apply the brakes on something you see differently, it's easy to forget. You
don't want to offend your colleagues or supervisor—you want to win them over.
Your supervisor is much more likely to consider your objection
valuable if you have data to back it up. Disagreements based on opinion may
hold some value, but you won’t "win" that argument every time. So
before you enter a meeting or begin a big project, familiarize yourself with
any relevant history, metrics, or stakes that may have an impact. If you find
that you need to gather research before you can confidently share your views,
make that clear rather than resorting to speculation.
If you approach a disagreement firmly set in your beliefs, you
won’t show your boss that you can be adaptable and think critically. Genuinely
listen to any counterpoints, and try to put yourself in his or her shoes if the
situation calls for some extra perspective. Then allow yourself to change your
opinions or ideas based on new information. This flexibility isn't just a key
to heading off a potential argument, it's essential to problem solving—which is
ultimately the whole point of speaking up in the first place.
Inevitably, you'll need to concede some disagreements to your boss
now and then, even if you sincerely believe their approach isn't the best. It's
important to know when to back down in these situations and be able to move
forward.
Inevitably, you'll need to
concede some disagreements to your boss now and then.
Should the ideas lead to a project failure, never resort to
"I told you so." Remember: A constructive, forward-thinking outlook
is the basis for you being able to express differing opinions in the first
place, and you don't want to undermine it in the future. You’re all on the same
team, and you want to support each other’s goals.
Despite your best efforts,
disagreements can sometimes get away from you. Before you know it, the
situation has deteriorated and one or both parties come out upset. If this
happens, it’s not the end of the world (or your job!). But it’s important to
handle the aftermath appropriately. Reflect on the conversation and determine
if there was room for improvement on your behalf. Then make a thoughtful apology to anyone
you want to clear the air with—your boss, especially.
TESS PAJARON https://www.fastcompany.com/3064577/the-right-way-and-right-reasons-to-disagree-with-your-boss
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