BOOK SUMMARY 257 Tears to Triumph
·
Summary written by: Carol-Ann
Hamilton
“The pain you are going through is not what will
determine your future; your future will be determined by who you are as you go
through your pain.”
- Tears to Triumph, page xii
In Tears
to Triumph, best-selling author, speaker, and activist Marianne Williamson
tackles an age-old human experience—that of suffering. Writers from time
immemorial have put pen to paper about the subject; it’s not new. What is new,
according to Williamson, is our failure to respond to it. So many today live
with the emotional pain of depression, relational trauma, and grief without
knowing how to deal with them and find true healing.
The Golden Egg
The Case Against Numbness
"A
life of spiritual triumph is not one in which we never fall into a deep, dark
valley; it is one in which, if and when we do fall, we’ve learned how to get
ourselves out of it."- Tears to Triumph, book jacket
After
all, people didn’t just start dying, confronting catastrophes or enduring
heartbreak. Over the millennia, we have figured out ways to adapt to challenges
or threats to our survival. The “problem” with modern society is that we have
learned to numb, medicate and/or deny our pain. Even our pop culture is a
numbing agent, making us inappropriately comfortable when we ought to be
appropriately uncomfortable.
What
we need to realize is that periods of suffering are not always detours but can
serve as significant stops along the journey. Even the happiest life can have
deeply sad days. The fact that we can be heartbroken is part of our humanity;
it is not a weakness in our character. By avoiding our pain, we avoid our
growth.
Gem #1
Shifting a Culture of Depression
"The
only way to escape our suffering is to rise above the thought system that
creates it."- Tears to Triumph, page 9
Marianne
finds it odd that we spend so much time treating the darkness and so little
time seeking the light.
Did
you know, for instance, that in order to create their beautiful plumage,
peacocks sometimes eat thorns? So it is with us. As excruciating as the
“thorns” of regret, failure and loss can be to endure, they can also pave the
way to the “unparalleled beauty” of illumination, forgiveness, appreciation and
gratitude.
Instead,
we have taken the dictates of a business model and imposed them onto
everything. We rush what ought not to be rushed. People thus feel guilty for
grieving. A typical example is when someone says: “It’s been a month
since your mother died. Aren’t you over it yet?” At such a time, it’s
more than okay–in fact healthy–to say, “No, I’m not, and I probably
won’t be for a while.”
Yes,
the mechanistic worldview that permeates our civilization is depressing. The
consequence is a low-level daily sadness and disconnection from one another.
According to the author, this larger epidemic of individual fatigue, weariness
and lack of vitality will not be adequately assuaged until we address the
larger problems in our society.
On an
individual level, here is some starting food-for-thought:
·
The future is programmed in the present. If
we enter the present carrying thoughts of the past, we program the future to be
just like the past.
·
The warden can’t leave the prison any more
than the prisoner can.
·
There are no neutral thoughts. Every thought
is a cause that will lead to an effect.
·
Joy doesn’t rest on trusting that every day
will unfold as we wish. Sometimes it rests on simply appreciating the fact that
today, on this day, everything is fine.
Gem #2
Changing Ourselves, Changing the World
"The
moment I become part of a larger solution, and a larger world, my own healing
begins."- Tears to Triumph, page 76
It’s
almost as if we’re individuals in a very bright room, holding our fingers in
front of our eyes and complaining that it is dark in here.
In
turn, once we un-freeze out of the confined limitations in which we have housed
ourselves, we may notice some things that need to change in us. Plus, we might
learn how certain neurotic patterns are ruining our personal as well as
collective lives. The outer world is merely a projection of our inner thoughts.
By
expanding our thinking, we forge new pathways in our brains and avail ourselves
of quantum possibilities that otherwise would not appear. To start to travel
down such new roadways, here are additional “provocations” to consider:
·
Sometimes neurosis is best measured not by
the things that make us sad, but by the things that do not make
us sad.
·
It’s not negative to yell “Fire!” if indeed a
house is burning. What is negative is to sit there and do nothing.
·
Martin Luther King Jr. didn’t just urge
people to love their oppressors. He also urged them to boycott the bus company.
·
We’re not here to ignore the darkness of the
world, but to transform it.
·
To quote Mahatma Gandhi: “Speak
only if it improves upon the silence.”
·
A key to transcending our suffering is to use
it as a blessing upon the lives of others.
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