Improve
Your Self Esteem in 5 Steps
Most of us struggle with poor self esteem in one way or another.
Perhaps you’re too hard on yourself at work, or you struggle to strike out in
new social situations. Healthy self esteem is vital to our development, our
ability to take on challenges and our ability to make new relationships. Try
these five simple steps to give your self esteem a much-needed boost.
1.
Practice positive affirmations
Have you listened to your inner voice lately? What do you say to
yourself? Are your words positive and full of encouragement, or are they harsh
and loaded with criticism? Take some time to listen to the things you say to
yourself. Those with low self esteem often report that they frequently tell themselves
they are stupid when they make a mistake or that the challenge they are facing
is going to be a disaster. Don’t be your own worst enemy! Confront negative
self-talk and practice positive affirmations. It may feel uncomfortable at
first but there’s nothing wrong with giving yourself praise. Stand tall, in
front of a mirror, and recite positive statements about yourself, such as: “I
am a great person”, “I can handle this challenge” or “I make a positive impact
in my friends’ lives”. Over time you’ll begin to quiet the damaging side of
your inner voice and embrace the positive affirmations that you are hearing.
2. Acknowledge the things you
are good at
Every single person is good
at something. We’re taught, from a young age, to dismiss our talents for the
sake of humility but that can lead to us being overly critical of ourselves or
forming a negative self image. Certain life situations, such as applying for a
new job, require us to mention our strong points. Don’t wait until the night
before the interview to start connecting with your strengths. Acknowledge your
abilities, aloud or to yourself, and don’t be tempted to follow each statement
with a disclaimer or rebuttal. Again, listen to your self talk and the way that
you refer to yourself in front of others. There is nothing wrong with saying,
“Actually, I am good at that” or “This is one of my best
features”.
3. Celebrate the small wins
(as well as the big ones!)
Society and the media love to
focus on extremes–self-made millionaires, Olympic athletes, miraculous medical
cures. But for most of us, these things will never happen and we learn to see
ourselves as lesser than others who experience these unusually explosive
achievements. Take some time to be think about your own wins in a realistic
fashion. What have you accomplished recently? What made you feel good? By
giving yourself positive reinforcement for everything you do, you’re
challenging the idea that you won’t be successful/valuable/worthy until you
achieve a certain (possibly unattainable) target. That’s not to say we can’t
aim for bigger, better things but if we only focus on the enormous goals, we’re
going to miss everything along the way. Focus on what’s real for you right now,
don’t put off celebrating for the sake of achievements that may never come to
fruition.
4. Value yourself
unconditionally
We’re all programmed to place
conditions on our self worth. “I’m a valuable person because I…” We define
success by fixed outcomes, like wealth, career progression or public
acknowledgement. This is a disastrous move as it implies that we are nothing
without certain accomplishments. Every person has value. Make a commitment to
changing your attitude towards your self worth. Your worldly achievements are
worth celebrating, but they do not define you. Recognise that you are valuable
just as you are–simply for being you.
5. Accept compliments
How many times have you
offered someone a compliment, only for them to say, “Oh no, you’re too kind” or
“Oh that? It was nothing”? It’s the social norm to reject compliments, as
accepting them can be considered cocky or self-obsessed. This is such a strange
social construct; compliments given in ernest are meant to make us feel
appreciated. What’s more, rejecting them feeds a message to our self conscious
that we’re undeserving of compliments, or that praise doesn’t apply to us. I
say, buck this strange trend and start graciously accepting compliments. You
don’t need to say any more than, “Thank you,” if that’s all you feel
comfortable with, but even the simplest acknowledgement will start to work on
your self esteem.
NATALIA SMITH
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/improve-your-self-esteem-5-steps.html?ref=mail&mtype=goal_reminder&mid=20161005_with_thumbnail&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=read_more&goal_id=27&token=d0e3e4b03809d240b52d71f8a6770fa9
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