12 Steps for an
Excuse-Free Life
If there's one habit that cripples more dreams than anything
else, it's making excuses. Life rarely goes according to plan, but responding
with excuses only turns a bad situation into worse.
There's a big difference between giving an explanation, and
making an excuse. Excuses harbor guilt and shame -- a protective veneer for
avoiding a deeper issue. They rationalize bad behaviors, and set the table for
a mediocre life.
Here are 12 steps to permanently remove excuses from your life:
1. Awareness leads to change
How often do you make excuses? For seven days, be on high-alert
for any attempts at rationalizing bad behavior. Chalk them up in your journal.
Write out the incident that sparked off your excuse.
2. Remove the criticism
Excuses are produced from negative self-talk. When there's
looming judgement, you'll scramble for justification. Removing criticism also
removes the need to make excuses.
It doesn't mean indifference toward your faults, but detaching
yourself from the shame.
3. Shift to solutions
As you get better at catching your excuse-making, begin to shift
your mindset from rationalizing to creating solutions.
Instead of saying you were too busy to meet the deadline, tell
yourself you need to get up earlier and schedule your day better.
4. The straight-shooter
This is the friend nobody wants, but everyone needs. The one
who'll throw the flag on your faults. Give the green light to someone in your
circle to nudge you whenever excuses are attempted.
For extra motivation, let them penalize you, put something on
the line for every excuse you make.
5. Less talk, more action
If you weren't so public with your goals, you wouldn't have to
backtrack with excuses when failing to meet them. While there's evidence that
sharing goals with the right people helps keep you on track, it's more
satisfying to simply get it done and avoid any possibility of excuse-making.
6. But find the sweet spot
Overcommitting leads to excuse making. To-do lists are great for
clarity and productivity, but overloading leads to frustration.
Stretch yourself, but be aware of your breaking point. If you
keep failing to complete tasks, you're overestimating your ability and time. Find
that sweet spot where expectation meets accomplishment.
7. Reflect before you react
Habitual excuse-making causes visceral reactions to negative
experiences. Taking a moment to pause and reflect creates a mental break and
allows for a better response.
Instead of immediately getting offended or frustrated, learn to
take any criticism constructively. Detach yourself and don't take things
personally.
8. Live according to your standards
It's hard to find motivation when you're living up to other's
expectations. It opens the door to failure, and excuses.
You'll kill the two birds of people-pleasing and excuses with
one stone once you align your actions with your own beliefs and goals.
9. Take responsibility
We're all human and prone to mistakes. But to blame others, when
you're responsible, is a destructive way to excuse your behavior.
Shirking responsibility feeds a "victim mentality,"
and creates more negative traits, including passive-aggressive behavior.
10. Become "process oriented"
As opposed to solely goal oriented, where failure to arrive at a
destination or meet a goal causes a sting, and subsequent excuses to ease the
pain.
Becoming process oriented means seeing value and learning in
every step of the journey, not just the destination. Mastery is not a static
but progressive destination. It releases the unnecessary pressure you place on
yourself.
11. A worthy reason
Successful change is meaningful change. You need motivation to
stick to goals, and that comes from purpose--seeing the positive effects of
removing excuses.
Think through the benefits of having an excuse-free life:
healthier relationships, increasing productivity, living your dream.
12. Remind & reinforce your changes
As with any behavioral changes, positive reinforcements make new
habits stick. Any time you check off a step on this list, have a glass of wine
and give yourself a pat on the back. Give yourself a daily mantra: "I make
progress, not excuses."
Always recognize your little wins, they'll lead to big ones.
Thai Nguyen http://www.huffingtonpost.com/thai-nguyen/12-steps-for-an-excuse-free-life_b_6858266.html?ncid=newsltushpmg00000003&ir=India
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