How to Cultivate
Happiness Even When It Is Hard
It is easy to choose happiness when we are sitting on the peaks
of our lives. But what about when we are lost in the valleys? On those days
when we find it hard to put one foot in front of the other, we are tested to go
deep.
It is then that we realize that searching for happiness outside
of ourselves is a recipe for failure, because happiness doesn't lie in our job
promotion, our new house or even in our bank account.
It is in the reality that we create for ourselves through our
thoughts.
This became evident for me when I first experienced the loss of
a family member. You see death is the great equalizer. Not to be morbid, but the
truth is that everyone on this earth is going to the same place.
In the end, two things will matter:
Were you happy?
And
Did you make others happy?
If we can master the art of cultivating happiness even when
times get hard and when everyone around us would expect us to be anything but
happy, then we are truly the masters of our own destiny.
Here are three ways to cultivate happiness even when it is hard:
1. Realize that everything is temporary
Whenever I was going through a rough time, my father would always
say "remember that everything is temporary." It is this same phrase
that I have repeated to myself through the trials and tribulations of life.
Whether I was going through the breakup of a relationship or the
loss of a loved one, realizing that everything is temporary is what carried me
through my grief and helped me to go forward.
You have every right to allow yourself the time to feel sad and
grieve. But realize that your feeling of sadness will eventually turn into
acceptance and your feeling of being overwhelmed will eventually turn into
calm.
This is the way of life. Our feelings come and our feelings go.
What remains constant is the way that we process those feelings.
Everything dear friend, is temporary. And you too will get
through this.
2. Reach out to your village
It is said that it takes a village to raise a child, but I
believe that it takes a village to raise and sustain humans.
We are not made to be islands, navigating through life alone.
Human beings crave connection. So if you need help, there is nothing wrong in
reaching out to your village and asking for it.
Happiness comes from surrounding yourself with those who inspire
you and look out for your best interest.
Many people believe that reaching out for help is a sign of
weakness. Quite the contrary. Asking for help when you most need it shows
confidence and strength.
Self-care is vital to being happy. Sometimes you need a friend
to watch your children so you can get some sleep or you need someone to listen
to you vent so you can release all the feelings that have built up inside of
you.
Reach out to your village. Let them help you to continue to heal
your body and soul. It is through nurturing your body that you can continue to
nurture your mind.
3. Give happiness away
There is no greater way that I can think to be happier than to
give it away.
When times get hard, we feel lonely and disconnected. Taking the
attention away from yourself and giving it to someone else is just what we need
to re-connect.
When you realize that you have the power to provide happiness
for another person, you tap into the interconnectedness of all life. You
understand that you are a part of a greater rhythm. Your life is important. There
is a purpose for you here.
If you practice mindful meditation, you tap into the deeper parts of yourself.
There you realize that everything
is temporary, that you are not an island and that you have the ability to touch
the life of another.
As Albert Camus wrote,
In
the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there's something stronger - something better, pushing right back.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there's something stronger - something better, pushing right back.
So keep pushing forward. Put one foot in front of the other. And
know that in the midst of winter in this valley of your life, lies within you
an invincible summer.
Smita Malhotra, M.D.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/smita-malhotra/how-to-cultivate-happines-even-when-it-is-hard_b_6951076.html?ncid=newsltushpmg00000003&ir=India
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