Small gestures, big impact
Use these science-backed strategies to become more likable
without words doing the talking
Becoming more likable is easier than you think. There's lots of
research on the traits and behaviours that make people likable and these have
nothing to do with what you are saying. Strategies include dressing up,
demonstrating more energy, and handing the person you're with a cup of cof fee
to make an impression.
Here are some of the most fascinat ing pieces of re search on
the best ways to make friends and impress co-workers, all without saying a
word:
Look
self-assured and energetic
New York Univer sity researchers documented the `chameleon ef
fect', which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each other's behaviour.
That mimicry facilitates liking. The same study found that likability
also depended on `the speed and energy of [participants] body movements' and
`the self-assuredness of their body movements'. Non-verbal cues are perhaps more
meaningful than you would think.
Speak in a
higherpitched voice
It's less about what you say and more about how you say it. A
2014 paper, published in the journal PLoS ONE, found that men and women who
speak in a higher pitch are perceived as more likeable and trustworthy. A group
of 320 Scottish partici pants listened to 64 Scottish speakers say the word
`hello', then rated the speakers on different traits.Researchers drew
connections between the speakers' pitch and the subsequent ratings.
Spend more time
around them
According to the mere-exposure effect, people tend to like other
people who are familiar to them. In one example of this phenomenon,
psychologists at the University of Pittsburgh had four women pose as students
in a university psychology class. Each woman showed up in class a different
number of times. When experimenters showed 130 students pictures of the four
women, the students demonstrated a greater affinity for those women they'd seen
more often in class -even though they hadn't interacted with any of them.
Maintain
contact
In a French study, published in 2007 in the journal Social
Influence, young men stood on street corners and talked to women who walked by.
As it turns out, the men had double the success rate in striking up a
conversation when they lightly touched the woman's arms as they talked to them
instead of doing nothing at all.
A University of Mississippi and Rhodes College experiment
studied the effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping, and had some waitresses
briefly touch customers on the hand or shoulder as they were returning their
change. As it turns out, those waitresses earned significantly larger tips than
the ones who didn't touch their customers. Subliminal touching occurs when you
touch a person so subtly that they barely notice. Common examples include
tapping someone's back or touching their arm, which can make them feel more
warmly toward you.
Wear a smile
Recently, researchers at Stanford University and the University
of Duisburg-Essen found that students who interacted with each other through
avatars felt more posi tively about the interaction when the avatar displayed a
bigger smile.Another study suggested that smiling when you first meet someone
helps ensure they will remember you later
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