Four Ways Social
Support Makes You More Resilient
While much of the research on resilience focuses on individual
strengths, it’s social support that may matter the most.
When my
mother died, the first thing I did was call my two best friends. Like good
friends will, they dropped everything and came to my rescue. Having them there
made all the difference in getting through a very difficult period of my life.
Researchers
haven’t always emphasized this kind of social support as a factor in individual
resilience—that is, the ability to recover from hardship and move forward in a
positive, adaptive way. Instead, they have placed a high premium on studying
personal qualities, often relegating social context to a lesser role.
For
example, studies have found that people who are happier, have
a strong purpose in life, or higher levels of self-efficacy—the belief that they have control over their
situation—seem to have an easier time recovering after disaster. Some of these
personality factors have been shown to be protective, even for those who suffer from economic hardship, and can lead to better health outcomes, a reduced risk of suicide, and a better recovery after the loss of a spouse or loved one.
Still,
the research surrounding resiliency is complex and varied. In some cases,
resiliency may look a bit different depending on the type of
hardship being faced, like the loss of a spouse versus the long-term effects of
childhood abuse. Certain protective factors that may help one group of
people don’t necessarily help another. And some studies show that resiliency is not a stable trait
but fluctuates over time, suggesting that it is subject to developmental
or environmental changes, not personal attributes alone.
Lost in
the mix of resiliency research is the importance of social circumstances. How
resilient we are may have as much or more to do with our social milieu and
circle of support—our communities, our institutions, our cultural
expectations—as it does with our personal strengths.
As
resiliency researcher Elliot Friedman says, “The availability of social support
in all its forms—instrumental support, emotional support, support with how you
think about things—they all matter and help us in facing challenge.”
Though we
may think it’s easier to change ourselves when it comes to facing adversity—to
pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, as they say—research suggests that
positive relationships and supportive environments have an important role to
play.
Positive
social relationships are key to resilience
Having
good social relationships is clearly a winning strategy in life, tied to
greater psychological and physical well-being. Thus, it’s not surprising that
social relationships also matter when it comes to resiliency, in part because
they help us feel less stress when we are suffering.
Large-scale
population studies have shown that positive relationships at one period of
life predict less depression later. Social relationships are particularly
protective for older adults, who might face declining cognitive abilities or health challenges.
“There
are a lot of ways to consider what resiliency means; but there’s no question
that social relationships are important for health,” says Friedman. “If you
stack having few social relationships against other risk factors—like smoking
and obesity—not being socially connected is as strong a risk factor for death.”
The
reason may be that good social relationships seem to help us tamp down stress reactions, even when we just recall those
relationships. In one study, wives who felt strongly in synch with their
spouses felt less anticipatory reactivity toward a mild electric shock.
And caring touch from a health care worker reduced pain in
accident victims up to six months later, supporting the importance of empathic
behaviors in patient care.
Supportive
relationships also help those suffering from childhood
abuse—especially “supportive relationships that foster attachment, guidance,
reliable alliance, social integration, and reassurance of worth.” One study found that those children who’d suffered
psychiatric distress—enough to be hospitalized—bounced back after adolescence
to become better adjusted adults if they’d had positive social relationships
and felt a sense of relatedness toward others.
As the
American Psychological Association wrote in its resilience report: “Many
studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and
supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that
create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and
reassurance, help bolster a person’s resilience.”
Perhaps
that’s why when we are in trouble, we naturally look to our social networks for
help—whether they offer emotional support or simply a helping hand.
“Having
friends you can talk to and share your concerns with, maybe having them help
you get a perspective on things—that’s where social ties can be useful,” says
Friedman.
To some extent, resiliency
depends on culture
What is
important for resiliency in one culture may be less important in another
culture.
For
example, research has shown that in more collectivist cultures—where the
well-being of one’s group is valued more than the individual’s—social support
and being flexible may be more protective in overcoming setbacks than
self-efficacy. Individualistic Americans, on the other hand, seem to need that
combination of independence and effectiveness, according to Friedman.
In
addition, some personal attributes supporting resiliency in one culture may do
harm in another. In one study,
researchers found that having high levels of positive emotion—if coupled with
low social support—resulted in worse health for Japanese participants. Also,
while positive emotion may be tied to resilience in the U.S., it’s not necessarily so in other cultures. In fact, a balance of
positive and negative emotion can be more conducive to getting through hardship.
“How
resilient we are may have as much to do with our social milieu and circle of
support as it does with our personal strengths”
―Jill
Suttie
Hostile
cultural contexts can also affect resiliency. For example, one study found
that, for gay men, internalized homophobia and the stigma of being gay hurt
their resiliency, making them less likely to seek needed medical care. But
other studies have found that, with positive social support, some
discrimination stressors can be overcome, leading to better health outcomes.
These
and other studies suggest that, when considering resiliency,
cultural factors are important. Not only may personal attributes be less
important in certain contexts, they may actually backfire—perhaps making people
believe getting back on their feet is all up to them.
Social
safety nets increase the resiliency of citizens
In
countries where social supports—such as universal free health care and paid
parental leave—are provided by the government, studies find that people
are happier and healthier, which in turn seems to help them bounce back from
challenges and disasters. When these supports are missing, says the
research, people suffer psychologically.
Imagine
how this might play out: Suppose you have to leave work to care for an ill
parent, and you happen to live in a place where paid family leave is a given.
You may still be challenged emotionally, but it won’t be compounded by
financial stress or the fear of being fired for taking time off. This is
especially true for new parents. Not only does paid leave result in better
health for mothers and children, it helps mothers to return to work sooner.
As a report from the World Bank suggests, social support
networks are critical to resiliency, especially for the poor and vulnerable. In
areas where there is great wealth inequality, people suffer more ill health effects to begin with.
Social
safety nets can also provide the proverbial ounce of prevention. One study found that resiliency is tied to fewer
adverse events in one’s life, suggesting that prevention of adversity—perhaps
through social programs like parent coaching or universal health care—may be
key to increasing resiliency. Research has shown that states embracing policies
aimed at improving the social welfare—for example, through tax credits and
better health care—had smaller percentages of their citizens reporting
disabilities than states who didn’t embrace these policies.
Resilience
is associated with stronger social connections
Many
researchers suggest that living a more altruistic life or living life with purpose helps us be more resilient when disaster
hits. But could the root of this benefit be tied with the values that come with
altruism and purpose?
This is
hard to tease out, as many researchers use measures of resiliency that are
multi-faceted—for example, bundling conscientiousness, vitality, and
relationships into a package of resiliency traits. This makes it difficult to
know which factors are most salient or how they interact.
Yet we
see evidence from other research that altruism is tied to social relationships, which aids in resilience. Practicing gratitude also strengthens relationships and social support
networks, which aids in reducing stress and depression. Even
finding purpose—which one could imagine doesn’t necessarily involve building
social networks—is often fostered in research studies through in-depth conversations with a caring adult.
“We’re
finding that a good route to feelings of purpose and meaning—which we tend to
think of as good sources of resilience—comes from being out in the world, being
engaged with meaningful activities that are doing good for other people and
that are contributing,” says Friedman. “Engaging in meaningful activities
definitely has a large social component at a very high level.”
In
addition, individuals suffering a setback are frequently encouraged to go to a
therapist, join a support group, or get involved in volunteering. All of these
activities have at their root the opportunity for deeper or wider social and
emotional connection. Interestingly, research suggests that the relationship
between a patient and a therapist may be the
most critical ingredient in therapeutic success—more important than
therapeutic techniques, for example.
Even
religious belief—sometimes seen as helpful for resiliency—may be, for
many, an opportunity to deepen social connections, which could explain its
potency. One need only think of church members gathering together to help out
someone in need within their congregation to see how this might play out.
So, why
does this matter? If we don’t understand the relevance of social context in
resiliency, we may end up setting ourselves up for failure. If resiliency
doesn’t simply mean focusing on our personal strengths and overcoming the odds,
we will create more ways for people to strengthen their support systems—and for
governments to enact policies that help prevent unnecessary adversity in the
first place.
In other
words, when you are going through a hard time, turn to the people around you.
It takes a village to help each of its members to bounce back from disaster
BY JILL SUTTIE |
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_ways_social_support_makes_you_more_resilient?utm_source=Greater+Good+Science+Center&utm_campaign=b015905b3f-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_11_15&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-b015905b3f-51482775
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