12 Destructive Habits You Need to Stop Right Now
Think of your
self-worth as the price tag you put on yourself. Are you ready to treat
yourself as being worth more?
Most of us
routinely underestimate our talents and skills--not deliberately, but because
of self-deprecating habits.
At the extreme, you can become your own worst enemy. But even a
little bit of negativity toward yourself can slow you down and cause you to
miss out on great opportunities.
Ask yourself if you need to change any of these destructive
habits:
1. You don't believe in yourself.
Self-talk is a strong force,
whether it's positive or negative. If you tell yourself "I'm not
ready for that promotion" or "I could never be that
disciplined" or "I don't have the aptitude to be a
boss"--if you routinely talk yourself out of your aspirations--you will
not reach your potential.
2. You don't own your unique self.
It's great to
learn from those around you, but never think that what you have to offer is
insignificant or that you need to copy someone else's style or way of doing
things. The things that make you uniquely you are what will make you stand out,
so honor those things and own them. Mom was right: Just be yourself.
3. You care too much what other people think.
Wanting to be liked and respected
is basic human nature. But when you value other people's thinking and opinions
above your own, and change your behavior to reflect what you think others want
to see, you're doing harm to yourself. Nobody else is living your life, so
don't give away the power to guide it.
4. You compare yourself with others.
When you hold the full, complex
reality of your life up against the visible surface of someone else's, it's
easy to come away feeling like less. If you want to compare yourself
with someone else, look at those who have less and are struggling--then be
grateful for all your advantages and achievements and commit yourself to
sharing your blessings.
5. You surround yourself with negativity.
You don't have to look very hard
to find people with issues--there's always someone ready to cut down someone
else's success or dwell on the unfairness of a situation or workplace. Often
what these people are masking is their own fear of failure, but allowing
yourself to be exposed to their negativity will have a bad influence on you.
Recognize the positive people in your life and choose your relationships
carefully.
6. You indulge in pessimism.
If you often catch yourself
thinking "I don't have a chance" or "This will never work
out," you need to shout down that voice before it creates a
self-fulfilling prophecy. Focus on what you can do instead of worrying about
the outcomes you can't control.
7. You criticize yourself relentlessly.
Self-improvement requires a
certain amount of critique--and, let's face it, we all have flaws. But when you
focus on your flaws to the detriment of your strengths, when you dwell on your
mistakes but dismiss your successes as luck, you undermine yourself in the
worst way. Show yourself the same kindness and respect that you'd show anyone
around you.
8. You don't trust yourself.
8. You don't trust yourself.
Whether your
intuition comes from innate talent or years of experience (or both), it can
work only if you have faith in it. That doesn't mean that you don't question or
challenge your instincts--holding your gut feeling up to reality is an
important part of discernment. But if you're constantly second-guessing your
own judgment, that's a problem.
9. You don't let yourself speak up.
When you quiet your own
voice, when you stop yourself from saying what you want to do or asking for
what you need, your silence can be mistaken for ignorance or apathy--by
others and even by yourself. Even if you feel overpowered, it's important to
say what's on your mind.
10. You're no longer curious.
Curiosity elevates us to do great
things, and dismissing your own curiosity is an indirect way of holding
yourself back. Keep your mind active and questioning.
11. You dismiss compliments.
When you deflect
compliments with a self-deprecating remark, you not only sell yourself short
but challenge the judgment of the person complimenting you. Accepting
compliments graciously doesn't make you an egomaniac.
12. You limit yourself.
When you feel unworthy or
undeserving of success, you don't even try. The most valuable gift you can give
yourself is a wide horizon with room for all your dreams, thoughts, and
ambitions.
If you've been underestimating yourself, stop your destructive
habits and start doing things your future self will thank you for.
BY LOLLY
DASKAL
http://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/12-destructive-habits-you-need-to-stop-right-now.html?cid=em01014week49a
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