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Before you can understand other people, you
have to understand yourself. What annoys you? What excites you? One
of the simplest ways to find out is to pay attention to how you feel.
Feelings, as we saw in Episode 1, aren't just
there to cause us to act funny. Feelings are a map, and
self-awareness is how we read them.
Here's what self-awareness entails:
1. Listening to your body. Our bodies speak their
own language and react differently to different emotions.
Our hearts beat faster when we're scared or
excited, and our stomachs clench up when we're stressed. Learning
to pay attention to these bodily cues helps us become better at identifying
our emotions.
2. Observing, not judging. As humans, we love to
classify things, but labeling our emotions as good or bad stops us from
understanding why they're there. Self-awareness requires suspending
judgment in favor of understanding and letting emotions run their course.
3. Identifying what pushes
your buttons and why. We all have our pet peeves—situations,
events, or people that trigger negative emotions within us. Identifying
what they are and then discovering what unmet needs might lie behind them
are key steps in better understanding our emotional reactions and
ourselves. Looking at pet peeves from the perspective of needs also helps
us deal with them in more proactive and productive ways.
It can seem difficult to listen to your
body, suspend judgment, and identify what pushes
your buttons at first. Here are some tools that can help:
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Make a list of your likes and dislikes.
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Pick one item from your list of dislikes. Try
to figure out the source of your annoyance.
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Meditate. Keep a journal.
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Try putting out 750 words daily.
I hope you have fun getting to know
yourself! In our next episode, we'll cover self-regulation,
aka the "art of self-mastery." See you then!
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