7 Things the
Happiest People Do Every Single Day
Why? Because they realize happiness is a choice
-- and the result of actions, not wishful thinking.
Everyone wants to be happy. Yet many people are not. Is that because of
their circumstances, or because of their perspectives?
Great question. Approximately 50 percent of
your level of happiness, or what psychologists call your "happiness
set-point," is determined by personality traits that are largely
hereditary. That means one-half of your level of happiness is largely outside
your control.
That's too bad, but it also means that 50
percent of your level of happiness is largely within your control: health,
career, relationships, activities, etc. So even if you were born with a tendency
to be at least a little gloomy, you can still do things to make yourself a lot
happier.
Like these:
1. Actively pursue your goals.
Goals you don't pursue aren't goals, they're
dreams, and dreams make you happy only when you're dreaming.
Pursuing
goals, though, does make you happy. According to David Niven, author of 100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life, "People who could identify a goal they were pursuing were 19
percent more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and 26 percent more
likely to feel positive about themselves."
So be grateful for what you have, and then
actively try to achieve more. If you're pursuing a huge goal, make sure that
every time you take a small step closer to achieving it, you pat yourself on
the back.
But don't compare where you are now with
where you someday hope to be. Compare where you are now to where you were a few
days ago. Then you'll get dozens of bite-size chunks of fulfillment -- and a
never-ending supply of things to be thankful for.
2. Do what you do well, as often as you can.
You know the
old cliche regarding the starving-yet-happy artist? Turns out it's true: artists
are considerably more satisfied with their work than non-artists -- even though the pay tends to be considerably
lower than in other skilled fields.
Why? I'm no researcher, but clearly the more
you enjoy what you do and the more fulfilled you feel by what you do, the
happier you will be.
In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor says that when volunteers picked "one of their
signature strengths and used it in a new way each day for a week, they became
significantly happier and less depressed."
Of course it's unreasonable to think you can
chuck it all and simply do what you love. But you can find ways to do more of
what you excel at. Delegate. Outsource. Start to shift the products and
services you provide into areas that allow you to bring more of your strengths
to bear. If you're a great trainer, find ways to train more people. If you're a
great salesperson, find ways to streamline your administrative tasks and get in
front of more customers.
Everyone has at least a few things they do
incredibly well. Find ways to do those things more often. You'll be a lot
happier.
And probably a lot more successful.
3. Make good friends.
It's easy to focus on building a professional
network of partners, customers, employees, connections, etc., because there is
(hopefully) a payoff.
But there's a
definite payoff to making real (not just professional or social media) friends.
Increasing your number of friends correlates to higher subjective
well-being; doubling
your number of friends is like increasing your income by 50 percent in terms of how happy you feel.
And if that's
not enough, people
who don't have strong social relationships are 50 percent less likely to
survive at any given time than those who do.
(That's a scary thought for loners like me.)
Make friends outside of work. Make friends at
work. Make friends everywhere.
Make real friends. You'll live a longer,
happier life.
4. Actively express your thankfulness.
According to one study, couples who expressed
gratitude in their interactions with each other experienced increased
relationship connection and satisfaction the next day -- both for the person
expressing thankfulness and (no big surprise) the person receiving it. (In
fact, the authors of the study said gratitude was like a "booster
shot" for relationships.)
Of course the same is true at work. Express
gratitude for employees' hard work, and you both feel better about yourselves.
Another easy
method is to write down a few things you are grateful for every night. One
study showed people
who wrote down five things they were thankful for once a week were 25 percent
happier after 10 weeks; in effect, they
dramatically increased their chances of meeting their happiness set-point.
Happy people focus on what they have, not on
what they don't have. It's motivating to want more in your career,
relationships, bank account, etc., but thinking about what you already have,
and expressing gratitude for it, will make you a lot happier.
It will also remind you that even if you
still have huge dreams, you have already accomplished a lot -- and should feel
genuinely proud.
5. Help other people.
While giving is
usually considered unselfish, giving can also be more beneficial for the giver
than the receiver: Providing social support may be
more beneficial than receiving it.
Intuitively, I think we all know that because
it feels awesome to help someone who needs it. Not only is helping those in
need fulfilling, it's a reminder of how comparatively fortunate we are -- which
is a nice reminder of how thankful we should be for what we already have.
Plus, receiving is something you cannot
control. If you need help -- or simply want help -- you can't make others help
you. But you can always control whether you offer and provide help.
And that means you can always control, at
least to a degree, how happy you are -- because giving makes you happier.
6.Realize that more money won't make you happier.
Money is important. Money does a lot of
things. (One of the most important is to create choices.)
But after a
certain point, money doesn't make people happier. After about $75,000 a year,
money doesn't buy more (or less) happiness. "Beyond
$75,000... higher income is neither the road to experience happiness nor the
road to relief of unhappiness or stress," say the authors of that study.
"Perhaps $75,000 is the threshold beyond
which further increases in income no longer improve individuals' ability to do
what matters most to their emotional well-being, such as spending time with
people they like, avoiding pain and disease, and enjoying leisure."
And if you
don't buy that, here's another take: "The
materialistic drive and satisfaction with life are negatively related." Or, in layman's terms, "Chasing possessions tends to make you
less happy."
Think of it as the bigger house syndrome. You
want a bigger house. You need a bigger house. (Not really, but it sure feels
like you do.) So you buy it. Life is good... for a couple months, until your
bigger house is just your house.
The new always becomes the new normal.
"Things" provide only momentary
bursts of happiness. To be happier, don't chase as many things. Chase a few
experiences instead.
7. Live your life the way you want to live it.
Bonnie Ware
worked in palliative care, spending time with patients who had only a few
months to live. Their
most common regret was, "I wish I'd had the courage
to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
What other people think -- especially people
you don't even know -- doesn't matter. What other people want you to do doesn't
matter.
Your hopes, your dreams, your goals -- live
your life your way. Surround yourself with people who support and care not for
the "you" they want you to be but for the real you.
Make choices
that are right for you. Say things you really want to
say to the people who most need to hear them. Express
your feelings. Stop and smell a few roses. Make friends, and stay in touch with
them.
And most of
all, realize that happiness is a choice. Fifty percent of how happy
you are lies within your control, so start doing more things that will make you
happier.
By Jeff
Haden
http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/7-things-the-happiest-people-choose-to-do-every-single-day.html?cid=nl029week50day12
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