This Is What Happens When You Disconnect For 24 Hours
If you’re like me, you know it’s hard as
anything, un-tethering yourself from your smartphone, iPad and laptop
– first at work and then at home. Frankly, to disconnect can be
tough as withdrawal (not kidding, folks).
But hey, you know it’s hurting your
relationships at home and work. People have told you to your face to stop. But
you just can’t. There’s always something pulling you toward that Facebook feed,
that Pinterest board, then CNN for news, then TMZ (ok, you’re on your own, if
that’s the case). Then once again, a vicious cycle.
Today’s the day. You have decided to “forget”
your phone and other electronics, leave them be and see what happens.
It isn’t easy, let me tell you, but the best
thing that has happened to me since I started roughly 7 years ago. It gives me
back a solid, memorable block of time with family and friends, to reconnect,
reflect, recharge, restore my “default setting,” if you will. You see,
when I was 25, I started keeping Sabbath – the Jewish Sabbath, in my case.
Since then, it’s literally my religion to turn off my phone and all devices
from sundown on Friday for 25 hours.
Here’s what
I’ve learned.
1. Your mind will start to clear up from a fog.
Perhaps you can’t remember that last time you
found yourself without a working phone or Wifi. Perhaps it was during a
hike upstate, up in a plane somewhere or after drowning your iPhone. Sadly, it
felt like wasted time. In fact, it was a golden opportunity you missed to rest,
to write, reflect, to change things up, to feel more human.
Between the pull of business and the
personal, between e-mail and fear of missing out, I’ll be the first to call
myself a smartphone addict. However, when that sundown hits on Friday, I turn
on “Do Not Disturb” and put the phone away. The endless whirl of tasks and
people wanting my attention ceases. The constant pressure of my fear of wasting
time begins to lift. My mind and thoughts turn to the Sabbath table, spending
time with family. The simple act of eating – and enjoying dinner – with my wife
and daughter, sometimes friends is wonderful and human and refreshing. Wine
flows, we eat amazing food. Nobody’s in a rush somewhere. When someone asks you
how you are, you really take the time to think, reflect and answer
thoughtfully. You start remembering just how important family is, how precious
your time is with them and friends.
2. You’ll get to infuse your life with novelty again.
The week is all about the auto-pilot. Wake
up, then brush your teeth, jump in the subway, get to work, check email, send
your updates, then have lunch, back out for coffee around 3 PM, then home at 5
(or later). Once you get home, its not long until you go to bed! And in
between, you sneak in Facebook, Pinterest (and TMZ, G-d help you).
Saturday morning, I wake up whenever, no
alarm. I spend the best time with my family, eating breakfast, catching up,
playing with my daughter, reading a book I’ve long abandoned, a new magazine.
We see the people that we really like
– people that like us back, invite us over often, plus new faces. One
family gave birth this week, a son. Another’s kid is
now engaged. Somebody else got honored at their job. We celebrate the
good, reflect on bad things happening and try to make sense of them, leaving
with actionable wisdom we can use throughout the week and year. We take a walk.
There is a gorgeous garden on the way back home. Imagine everything you are missing
in the world around you!
3. You’ll notice your senses will revive.
Being busy is easy throughout the week. The
weekend can be packed, as well, visiting bars and restaurants, flea markets,
brunch, whatever. That pull of being connected is still there. You still can’t
focus on the awesome dish you ordered – here’s a text! The wine’s aroma is not
quite the same – Mom’s calling!
The simple fact of being away from my devices
makes me pause and focus on the food and drink and people right before me,
their ideas, my own. I stop, reflect, try to make sense of all the madness
going on around me. It puts the busy-ness to rest. Because I can’t be bothered
by an email or call or buzz or ring, I start remembering the times when I was
young and unconnected. This brings me back to NOW, not the next thing today,
tomorrow or next week or month. I like the smell of coffee, tossing an
idea around, maybe to read a book together with my daughter, horse around with
funny faces, sounds, language constructions or whatever else just comes to
mind.
4. You’ll see that time will start to slow down.
The Sabbath is no longer than another day.
But when you step away and don’t let others push their emails and demands on
you, the time just stretches.
Taking a day off from the rat race – and its
long tentacles through technology – brings me back to my original,
childhood state for a day. I can laugh and read books I like and have long
conversations about things that are really interesting to me without feeling
guilty that I’m wasting precious time. I pack so much into those
daylight hours on Friday night and Saturday that it makes me wonder why
the weekdays seem so short, in comparison.
5. You’ll have a fuller and more meaningful because of rest.
I can’t emphasize how critical taking one day
off is for having a productive week. The rest of the week is that much more
filled and productive because I can’t work and move things forward (except
in my mind) on the Sabbath.
Since I’ve started keeping the Sabbath, the
paradigm has flipped on its head. I don’t do Sabbath to make for a more
fulfilling week. I do a fulfilling week so I can do the Sabbath properly.
Because there’s seemingly less time when I have to take off a day, it makes me
more eager to accomplish more during the rest of week and I do!
6. You’ll forget the week’s stresses.
Hello, sleep! Byebye, red, tired eyes.
Byebye, ADD. Byebye, guilt. Today, I rest and all of life’s stresses can go fly
a kite. Maybe I’ll go fly a kite, myself!
In all seriousness, just taking a nap in the
middle of the day after lunch can totally change your week by letting you catch
up from those nights with too little sleep. It will really, truly recharge your
batteries and give you amazing energy to tackle whatever your issues are with a
renewed strength and resolve.
7. You’ll regain purpose in life and remember the reasons why you’re
working like a dog through the rest of the week.
It’s not just for your career advancement,
more money, more recognition, more stuff you can buy. It’s for your family, for
humanity, for your growth and development as a human being. You have a mission
in life – to improve the human condition in your particular, unique way. You
want great experiences in your life, not just more stuff. A day off from the
pressures of the outside world helps you to return to your roots as a human
being – not just a cog in some machine.
8. You’ll have a chance to stop and understand what you’re doing wrong.
Without distractions from work or friends and
family, you have a rare chance to do some soul-searching and understand what
needs fixing. The acknowledgement and calling a spade, a spade is the
first step to lasting change for the better.
How many times did I have a really bad week
and then because of the Sabbath mindset, found a way to move the needle forward
on one problem or another? Simply changing my routine a day often uncovered
novel solutions or ideas from people I met or a new book or article I read –
because I had time and opportunity for it. Breaking my routine and seeing my
problems in a different light has been invaluable to transforming myself for
the better.
9. You’ll notice improvement in physical and mental health.
Taking the time to cook dinner properly,
being surrounded by people you love, ample sleep and real stress relief all
have a measurable positive effect on your physical health and mental
well-being. Unplugging helps me keep my sanity, focus better, get
more down time, plus good food and time with people I enjoy. The rest is
commentary.
10. You’ll be more likely to get to work on improving yourself.
This has a tangible difference in pushing you
forward after the time you’ve had to rest, reflect and come in contact with new
ideas, people and strategies for improvement. You’ll be like a lion
rearing to go because you won’t want to go back to being the same person you
were a day before. This is how you change things for the better, week after
week, regardless of whatever setbacks the week brought you.
BY YURI KRUMAN
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