10 Habits Of Likable And Influential People
While there are many attributes associated
with good leadership, likability is not one that immediately springs to mind.
This is an underrated and often undervalued characteristic among individuals in
senior roles, primarily because it contrasts with our ingrained
image of leaders being dominant and
assertive.
Good and sustainable leadership depends on an
ability to influence others, however, so that teams share in a specific vision
and work towards a common goal. This cannot be achieved successfully by those
who rule through fear alone, as people are more inclined to follow an
individual who is likable and charming in equal measure. In this respect,
likability is one of the key attributes for any ambitious leaders.
So what exactly are the primary habits and
traits that distinguish likable people with a capacity for influencing others
from other types of people?
1. They Have a Positive and Infectious
Mental Attitude
Cynicism is a natural state for some,
especially in the world of work and commercial leadership. From the emotional
drain and inconvenience of excessive meetings to the hidden agendas of others,
we can easily become suspicious of those around us and cynical about their
motivations. It can be easy to give into this, but likable individuals tend to
maintain a positive mindset that is infectious and establishes greater levels
of morale.
2. They Always Take Positive Lessons
from Failure
This positive outlook manifests itself
in multiple ways, although it is most obvious in times of adversity. More
specifically, likable influencers seek out positive lessons from failure,
rather than brooding over their shortcomings and developing feelings of
resentment. According to inspirational author Napoleon Hill (who wrote the
famousThink and Grow Rich), those with a likable persona are more likely
to express
gratitude for having gained a measure of wisdom that would not have come without failure.
3. They are Inquisitive
Likable people are good at communications,
both in terms of sharing their own ideas and listening to others. So rather
than focusing on their own viewpoint and simply waiting for the next
opportunity to talk, they listen to your perspective and digest its meaning.
This is often manifested by an inquisitive nature and a tendency to ask
questions, as this reinforces their interest in what is being said and
underlines how they care for others.
4. The Always Speak in a Considered and
Friendly Tone
On a similar note, likable people who are
good influencers also tend to speak in a deliberate and confident manner. This
immediately gives their voice a pleasing and reassuring sound, whether they are
speaking to a single individual or a larger group. Such a tone and
communication style also suggests a sense of self-control, which in turn
inspires trust from those who are listening.
5. They Maintain Composure at All Times
The working day is full of minor
frustrations, as is the wider world around us. From commonplace office time
thieves with their drive-by work requests, to
the petty rudeness of others, it is easy to become frustrated and lose our
composure in front of others. Likable individuals are able to maintain their
poise at all times, however, avoiding those unnecessary overreactions and
potential confrontations.
6. They are Openminded and Accepting of
Change
We have already discussed the impact of
cynicism on individuals and those around them, but it is important to note that
this also creates a closed mind that is resistant to certain ideas. It also
prevents people from interacting with those who are different, denying them the
opportunity to experience personal growth. Likable individuals have no such
issues, as they retain a positive and open minded attitude that is receptive to
change and difference.
7. They are Able to Suppress Negative
Thoughts
While expressive people tend to be honest by
nature, this can be detrimental when it comes to interacting with others. While
likable individuals are capable of expressing themselves, they also have a
sense of self-discipline that enables them to suppress negative thoughts and
avoid sharing these with others. This avoids causing unnecessary offence to
others, which is crucial to maintaining good morale and productive
relationships.
8. They
Don’t Seek Attention
There are few characteristics that are more
distressing than attention seeking, whether in the workplace or at home. This
stems from an underlying desire to be noticed, and achieve notoriety for both
positive and negative behavior. Given that this is such an unappealing quality,
it should come as no surprise that likable individuals are more likely to avoid
attracting attention unless it is for a
selfless cause or a hard-earned accomplishment.
9. They Praise Others in a Genuine and
Believable Way
While praise is always welcome and an
excellent way of improving morale, false praise will create cynicism and
mistrust on a large scale. This is where likable people often excel as
individuals, as they deliver praise whenever it is deserved, without being
excessive or giving the impression of being false. This is an excellent
communication skill to have, as you must be able to deliver praise in a
believable and genuine tone in order for your comments to be well received.
10. They Trust Someone Enough to Point
Out Their Flaws
On a final note, it is important to reaffirm
that likability is not a parlor trick or a facade that can be adopted. Rather
than leaders pretending to be likable, they earn this praise because they care
about their behavior, reputation and the way in which they are perceived by
others. They are also likely to have a close confidante or network of
supporters that are entirely honest with them at all times, offering feedback
on their flaws and potential areas for improvement.
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