Are You Making This Mistake at the End of Your Meetings?
Decisions are worthless … unless you
turn them into commitments.
In a business conversation, your
counterpart's decision states his intention, but a commitment holds him accountable.
Although a commitment does not guarantee delivery, it’s far more reliable than
a decision. More importantly, when managed properly, it allows you to handle
breakdowns with effectiveness, trust and integrity.
Have you been in meetings where lots
of decisions are made but nothing gets done and nobody
is held accountable? Unless you finish the meeting with commitments
about “who will do what by when,” you’ve just built 90% of a bridge.
Broken commitments damage tasks,
relationships, and culture. They bring about inefficiencies, mistrust, and
corruption. Coordination suffers, collaboration suffers, and cohesion suffers.
You can avoid this suffering – if you finish every conversation with clear
commitments.
Ask and You Shall Receive
Commitment conversations begin with
a request: “Can you bring the financials to the meeting?” “Please ship the
order to my new address.” Things can go off track at this early point,
especially if you ask without really asking.
The typical way to avoid making a
clear request is to make a muddled one. Do you recognize any of these examples?
- It would be great if…
- Someone should…
- Do we all agree to…?
- Can you try to…?
- The boss wants...
To make a clear request you must
utter it in the first person, using direct language and addressing it to a
specific person. You must specify observable conditions of satisfaction,
including time. It helps if you explain your purpose for asking, and, if and
when you arrive at an oral contract, always ask the other sign it.
Although there are many ways to ask,
the most effective ones follow a common pattern:
- In order to get A (a want or need),
- I ask that you deliver B by C.
- Can you commit to that?
It may sound odd to ask like this;
you can adjust your language to suit your culture.
Time to Commit
A well-formed request demands a
clear response. There are only three possible answers:
- Yes, I commit.
- No, I decline.
- I
can’t commit yet because, I need clarification/ I need to check; I promise to respond by X/ I want to propose an alternative./ I can make it only if I get Y by Z.
Here are some interesting ways by
which people often say, “No, I don’t commit.”
- Yes, I’ll try.
- OK, let me see what I can do.
- Seems doable.
- Let me check into it.
- Someone will take care of it.
When you declare, “I commit,”
you assume the responsibility to honor your word unconditionally. You
take on an obligation to deliver on your promise; or if you can’t, to do your
best to take care of the requestor.
When you declare, “I decline,” you might
still try to do what you were asked, but you don’t commit. You do not give the
requestor the right to hold you accountable. It is much better to have a clear
“no” than to get bogged down in a wishy-washy “I’ll do my best
There are many good reasons to
decline. You may not have the resources; you may not have the skills; you may
have a conflict with a previous commitment; you may anticipate problems; or you
may just not want to do it.
When you are not ready to say
“yes” or “no” right away, you may:
- Ask for clarification if the request is unclear to you. For example, if I ask you to help me with a project, you might ask, “What kind of help do you need?” or, “When do you need my help?”
- Promise to respond by a certain time if you need to check your resources, obtain commitments from others, or assess whether you can deliver to specifications. For example, if I ask you to prepare a report, you might answer, “Let me check if I have the information available. I’ll get back to you in an hour.”
- Counteroffer with an alternative proposal to satisfy the need behind the request. For example, if I ask you to meet today, you might respond: “I am not available today. Could we meet tomorrow? Or if it’s urgent, we could speak by phone.”
- Commit conditionally if your commitment depends on factors outside of your control. For example, if I ask you deliver a rush order, you can commit to do it only if I authorize overtime.
Clear commitments don’t mean that
everything will work out. Life is unpredictable, so even the most impeccable
commitments can break down.
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