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In his remarkable book, Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl points out
that search for meaning is the fundamental drive of every human being even
in the most dire and unimaginably bad circumstances. The principal regret
of a dying person is never that he or she didn't work hard enough. It often
has to do with having lived a life that didn't matter. As I neared 50, I
became more aware of my mortality and the fragility of life. My need to
feel like my life had made a difference, became more urgent.
My book project, the company directorships, my
consulting were all intellectually stimulating and served other needs but I
was under no illusions about how any of this was contributing to improving
lives. I experimented with the idea of starting a good private university
and a leadership academy for future CEOs but was discouraged by the
challenges and somewhere into these experiments, realized that my heart
really wasn't in it. I got involved with a foundation that does really
remarkable work and funded a rural clinic and a home for destitute old
people. This felt good but didn't quite fill the void I felt.
However, a chance conversation with a friend and
former colleague from Microsoft in Seattle opened a potential pathway to
purpose. Will Poole was active with a USbased organization called Social
Venture partners; this organization essentially enabled successful people
in a city like Seattle to come together, pool some of their philanthropic
giving and their time and talent and direct it to worthy non-profits and
social enterprises using a disciplined process. It appealed to me because I
see more and more people in India hitting middle age, realizing they are
quite successful and now wanting to 'give back to society' but with no idea
of how to go about this. So we started SVP India and are trying to build it
into a platform for any person with a desire to contribute to plug in and
make of it as much as they want to. SVP India has over 60 partners in
Bangalore and is now scaling to several other cities. What began as a
simple process of giving grants is rapidly expanding to other areas, such
as creating an incubator for social enterprises, taking on local issues,
such as waste and garbage disposal, and who know what else. How far can we
take this over the next 5-10 years? Can we grow 100 new social enterprises?
Can we help create 100,000 new jobs at the bottom of the pyramid? Who
knows? My quest for purpose continues but the challenge of building this
organization into one that allows hundreds of successful professionals
across India express their desire to contribute to society feels pretty
good.
My point again is the same-experiment till you find
something that fits you.
Communities — where do I belong?
'No Man is an Island', the poet John Donne
said. When we walk away from a job, an organization, we leave behind a
ready-made community of colleagues and friends with whom we spent the
largest number of our waking hours. How do you replace this?
One thing you quickly realize when you step
back a bit is the number of people who are really important to you-family,
friends, mentorswho you have neglected. Simply reaching out and spending
time with these people would itself create a very m e a n i n g f u l web.
I also found that the process of going out and trying new and different
things brought me in touch with many new people I really liked. Gradually,
too, I found certain communities to be particularly meaningful-for
instance, Social Venture Partners or my colleagues at Infosys. Also, people
in our own neighbourhood-not just neighbours, but also the fruit and flower
sellers and regular walkers in the park nearby. These communities were
available to me earlier as well but I was too much in a rush-and so my
engagement was efficient and transactional. Now the engagement was slower
and more meaningful.
Re-learn how to have Fun
Fun? What is fun beyond work? One of the things
I realized after 25 years of running very hard on the job is that while I
had lots of fun at work, I had forgotten how to have fun. Internet, email
and phones were 24x7, work flowed into everything and overwhelmed many
weekends. Vacations were short. Somewhere, I also started feeling guilty
when I wasn't 'productive'. These were deeply conditioned habits. Even a
year after leaving Microsoft, I would often feel terribly guilty about reading
a book in the middle of the day or taking a nap one afternoon or simply
having a long coffee with a friend. My mind said these are things retired
people do and at 50, you are too young to retire and so stop these
dissolute behaviours and get back to work.
So I started by making lists. What would I regret
not doing if I ran out of time to live? Well, travelling around India and
seeing more of the world is high on that list. So I made a list of places
to visit, either with my wife or with friends or if need be, by myself. For
instance, I accepted an invitation from my friend, Steve, to fly in his
small plane from Santa Fe to Canada over 3 weeks, stopping at six
magnificent national parks along the way; it was terrifying given my fear
of small planes but also exhilarating. I spent a delightful month in
Bellagio, Italy, writing my book at the Rockefeller Center there.
One question to ask is, "what did I really
enjoy when I was young that I gave up along the way?" For me, that was
music. I was a good musician and had built up a huge collection I had
always said I would listen to someday. Well, the time was now. I
rediscovered music. I rediscovered my library of books, which again I had
bought over time and said I would read someday. What better day than today?
The idea is simple-experiment doing things
that you like, the hobbies you once enjoyed, the things that you forever
have postponed doing. Start living again!
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