10 Amazingly Dumb Things
We Do with Smartphones
Smartphones are getting smarter all
the time, but the people using them aren't necessarily doing so. Today, we have
devices at our disposal that snap photos faster than you can blink, surf the
Web at speeds that make your home broadband jealous and download apps that can
do everything and anything. So why are we so dumb sometimes when it comes to
using these powerful pocket-size computers? If you do any of these 10 things
with your smartphone on a regular basis, you probably don’t deserve to own one.
Obsessively Take and Share Pictures
of Food
Hey, look at this chocolate cream
pie I made! And these kung pao chicken tacos! And don’t forget my blueberry
limoncello cooler! I love food as much as the next guy — in fact,
"Restaurant: Impossible" is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. But
I just don’t get this obsession with taking photos of eats and sharing them
with Facebook and Instagram friends. The only time I want to stare at pictures
of food is right before I order it off of a menu.
Try to Settle Arguments via Texting
I don’t know when this happened, but
at some point humans thought it was a good idea to text a loved one or friend
with their anger or disappointment instead of actually talking to them. Yes,
sending a text is easier, but you lose two very critical ingredients: context
and tone. (No, emoticons don’t count as tone.) I’ve seen way too many seemingly
innocuous exchanges devolve into digital shouting matches over a texting
misunderstanding. Hey, you could always Skype video call to apologize so they
know you mean it.
Use Your Smartphone as a Lighter at
a Concert
The first time I saw thousands of
people use their phones at a Coldplay concert as a lighter replacement I
thought to myself, “That’s cute.” Five years later, I think it’s time to move
on. Today, you can download all sorts of apps that look like real lighters,
including a Zippo lighter that opens with a flick of your wrist and a turn of
your thumb. How meta! I would rather you blow cigarette smoke in my face than
witness this display of mass stupidity.
Take Too Many Selfies (Duck Face
Included)
Part of me wishes that front-facing
cameras on smartphones were never invented. That’s because way too many people
feel the need to take self-portraits and share them with the world. “Look at me
out with my friends drinking — again!” You know the type. For these people, the
smartphone should be smart enough to cap how many selfies they take. Siri:
“That’s enough, Jenny. They get it.” And while we’re on the subject, please
avoid taking selfies with your duck face on. Even as
an ironic gesture, it’s over.
Use Your Phone as a Boombox in a
Public Space
Today’s smartphones can get pretty
darn loud — the HTC One’s dual stereo speakers come to mind. In fact, a
commercial for the phone has some hipsters rocking out to the device in the
middle of a cafe (or bar, I can’t tell). The problem is that no human being
should ever do that, unless your goal is to annoy everyone else around you.
I’ve seen lots of people in New York
City use their smartphones as mini boomboxes, not realizing how disturbing it
can be to others. Unless you’re John Cusack from "Say Anything," plug
in headphones. Actually, him too.
Taking Calls or Incessantly Checking
Phone in Elevator
Think about how long you typically
spend on an elevator ride, even if there’s a few stops along the way. We’re
talking 20, or maybe as many as 40, seconds. And yet, as a society, we’ve
become so averse to eye contact and real human interaction that we’d rather
stare at the same inbox or Facebook news feed that’s waiting for us five feet
from the elevator door.
Worse, some of us make the horrible
decision to continue a call as we get on the elevator, making the obligatory
announcement that “I may lose you; I’m getting on an elevator.” I have a better
idea. Wait!
Shooting Videos in Portrait Mode
I literally cringe every time I see
someone shoot a smartphone video vertically instead of horizontally. “Don’t you
know that your video is going to look cut off?” I say to myself. A lot of folks
just don’t know any better, but there’s hope. A hilarious PSA video
started circulating last summer from Laughing Squid that clearly illustrates
the problem using puppets. Even if you know how to shoot video the right way,
you need to watch this clip.
Use Apple Maps for the iPhone
As much as I appreciate finally
having free turn-by-turn directions on the iPhone, Apple’s Maps app should not
be your go-to choice. For starters, you need to use a third-party app to get
public transit directions, like Waze or Google Maps. The app also still suffers
from serious inaccuracies. When I searched for Brio Tuscan Grille in my
hometown of Freehold, N.J., Apple Maps displayed a location on Route 9, while
Google Maps accurately showed the restaurant in the area mall.
Here's another annoyance. Oftentimes
Apple Maps doesn't know where you are. For instance, after searching 550 Fifth
Avenue while in New York City, the first search result that appeared in a list
was in River Edge, NJ. Unless you like starting at fancy 3D flyovers, I would
stick to Google Maps until Apple can work out the kinks.
Smartphoning While Walking
Would you ever walk across a busy
intersection with your head down if you didn’t have a smartphone in your hand?
If you answered “no,” congratulations, you’re sane. So why is it OK to risk
your life just to like your friend’s snarky comment about Gwyneth Paltrow’s
see-through dress? Fortunately, some folks are working on litigating some
common sense into your brain. Fort Lee, N.J., issued a ban against texting
while cross the street, and Nevada has introduced a similar bill.
Keep Notification Volume on Full
Blast All the Freakin’ Time
I totally feel you. You don’t want
to miss that critical tweet about the latest “Man of Steel” trailer. But when
you’re heading into an important meeting, the last thing your colleagues want
to hear is “DROID” screaming from your phone or that damn Samsung whistle
coming from your Galaxy. Do the world a favor and drill into your settings and
do what needs to be done. Or I’m going to hunt you down and turn it off myself.
Unless I’m using Apple Maps. Then you’re safe.
By Mark Spoonauer, Laptopmag.com |
LiveScience.com
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