7 Phrases That Scream Lack of Confidence (and
Make You Look Weak)
You want to be a strong leader. Avoid these
weak phrases to boost your confidence and reputation.
I'm not sure if you
have the time to read this article, and I'm sorry if it's taking you away from
something more important. Really, I hate to bother you--it's just that I think
I have something kind of important to tell you. Is that OK?
...said
the author with no confidence whatsoever.
If
you want others to believe in you, you must believe in your own value and act
in a way that conveys confidence. The words you choose will help you to exude
confidence--or make you look weak. Never underestimate the power of words.
Here
are seven phrases to avoid, especially in the work environment. As you weed
them out of your vocabulary, in spoken and written form, you will notice a
visible change in how people perceive you. You will also notice a change in how
you feel about yourself as your level of confidence grows.
1.
I hate to bother you, but...
You
don't really hate to bother someone when something is important enough that it
can't wait. What you hate is your discomfort about voicing whatever it is that
you have to say and the response that you'll receive.
This
phrase puts the other person in complete control; it gives away your power. If
you are uncertain about your timing simply say something like: "When you
have a minute, I would like to discuss something with you."
2.
I'm sorry.
Strong,
confident people are willing to admit when they are wrong, or when an apology
is in order. Weaker people use the words "I'm sorry" when they have
feelings of inferiority. Count the times you apologize for something throughout
your day. Are you truly sorry? Did you do something wrong? In most cases, no,
you did not. Before using these words, stop to consider if they are necessary.
3.
I'm worried.
People
who are not confident use these words simply because they worry too much.
Expressing worry demonstrates that you fear a negative outcome and that you may
be over-thinking it. It says that you do not look for solutions but instead
focus on the problem.
Think
it through before telling someone that you're worried. If the situation merits
concern, then say, "I have some concern that..." Save the worry for
the real problems in life. Better yet, don't worry at all; it only serves to
create negative fantasies that may never occur.
4.
I'll do it.
Successful
people step up and pitch in. However, when you volunteer for everything from
making the coffee to running an errand, you designate yourself as the low
person on the totem pole. Be a team player, but don't jump at every chance to
take care of the minutia.
5.
I just...
Each
time you use this filler, it diminishes what you think and say.
"I
just need a minute of your time."
"I
just thought..."
"It's
just an idea, but..."
If
you have a suggestion, idea, or concern then state it with confidence, rather
than diminish it (and yourself).
6.
If it's OK, would you mind...
Asking
permission to make a request of someone immediately reduces the importance of
whatever it is you are asking. It also opens the door for them to think or say,
"No, it's not OK," or "Yes, I do mind." Be authoritative
when you make a reasonable request, even if you're speaking to the boss. Don't
use an inferior tone to suggest that you are begging for assistance. Simply
begin by saying something like: "Mary, when you have a moment,
please..."
7.
I believe/think/feel that...
These
are filler words that zap your conviction around a topic or opinion. Like the
word "just" (notice that you may use these words together: "I
just feel that...") they diminish the importance of your statement.
Simply
remove these fillers. Notice the difference between these two examples:
"I
just feel like this is an important problem for us to explore."
"This
is an important problem for us to explore."
By Marla Tabaka
http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/7-phrases-that-scream-lack-of-confidence-and-make-you-look-weak.html
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