EMAIL SPECIAL Six
Ways To Write Emails That Don’t Make People Silently Resent You
We’re hardwired to read emails in a more
negative tone than how they were actually written. Here’s the antidote.
Research has shown that when we receive an
email, we’re predisposed
to view the tone of that message negatively–or at least
more negatively than the sender intended it.
Given that everyone has this natural “negativity bias” against
email, it’s important to pay close attention to your phrasing. For the most
part, we use email either to remind people about things they said they’d do, or
to ask them to do something for us. In the absence of social cues, this is a delicate
task. With that in mind, here are a few tips for making your emails friendly
and appealing—without running on too long or coming off as ingratiating.
If you’ve forgotten your grammar lessons, the imperative is the
mood I just used in that subheading. It’s essentially a command: “Do this, go
there, finish that.” In general you want to avoid using the imperative in
email. People like to feel they have agency in their work, and the imperative
turns them into peons following orders. (And if you’re speaking to someone
above you, it sounds downright presumptuous.)
By empathizing with their workload, you cut off the possibility of
a, “They think I have time for this?!” type of reaction.
Rather than using the imperative, try to make a habit of using the
conditional—”Could you? Would you?”—when asking someone to do a task. Instead
of saying do this, ask them if they could do this. It’s
a subtle shift in phrasing, but it conveys a big shift in perspective: you’re
putting the ball in their court and respecting their right to make decisions
about what they will do and when.
If you’re sending an email to someone, you probably have a good
reason why—that is, there’s some benefit to you. But what’s in it for them?
People like to have a reason for doing things. If you want to get a positive
reaction to your message, it’s helpful to provide some greater context for the
request. The “why,” if you will.
You could frame the benefit in terms of quality:
I know this is frustrating, but it will make the product even
better.
Or in terms of progression:
We’re so close to meeting the deadline; we’ll be just about there
after this one last push.
Or even in terms of gratitude:
If you could just make this one tweak, it would really help me
out, and then we’ll be done.
As you no doubt noticed in the previous examples, I chose to
emphasize the fact that the task was “almost done” in multiple instances. The
human brain likes to feel a sense of completion, as we covered earlier in the
book; people are always more motivated when the end is in sight. Even if
you’re not near the end of a project, framing a request in
terms of completing a milestone or some other small step can be helpful. The
happy sense of completion could even come from the promise of not getting any
more email from you, such as:
Once you wrap up this task, I can take over the next stage of the
project, and you won’t have to get all these emails from me anymore!
The point is to put the request on a timeline and show progress so
your recipient understands, “If I do this, we will be moving forward.”
A little consideration goes a long way. I’ve found that people are
much more receptive to requests if you take the time to acknowledge that you
recognize they’re busy, as in:
I know you have a really hectic schedule, but let me quickly
explain why I think this opportunity is worth your while . . .
Or you can close an email with:
Thanks for taking time out of your no doubt busy schedule to
consider my request.
By empathizing with their workload, you cut off the possibility of
a, “They think I have time for this?!” type of reaction to your email, and
communicate to them that you understand the context of your request. Explicitly
indicating that you are aware of—and respect—other people’s time is always a
good idea.
Email is the last place you want to play it cool. In fact, it’s
hard to go wrong if you always focus on conveying a super-positive, hardworking
attitude in every message you write. You might think you sound overly earnest
or even chirpy when you read back your email, but remember that the negativity
bias will immediately take the language down a notch when it hits that person’s
inbox.
I used to be staunchly against exclamation points and emoticons,
but I changed my tune as soon as I had to manage a bunch of moody creatives via
email. Upbeat punctuation makes your enthusiasm and support palpable to the
reader, supplying the social cues that are generally absent. And so what if you
sound like a cheerleader—
couldn’t we all use a little more support at work?
You have probably received emails from very successful and busy
people that were extremely terse. Perhaps it was from your boss or from a
successful entrepreneur or investor. Regardless, do not take these emails as
cues for how you should write emails. With power and renown come benefits, and
one of those benefits, in some people’s minds, is the chance to not mince
words. It works for them, because in most instances, the people they are
emailing have no choice but to accept their curt style of communication. It
does not mean such an approach is advisable for you or for anyone who values
kindness and consideration.
BY JOCELYN K.
GLEI https://www.fastcompany.com/3068741/work-smart/six-ways-to-write-emails-that-dont-make-people-silently-resent-you?utm_source=mailchimp&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=fast-company-daily-newsletter&position=2&partner=newsletter&campaign_date=03102017
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