How To Make A Good First Impression
There is no doubt you’ve
heard the adage that you never get a second chance to make a good first
impression. What many people don’t realize is just how important a first
impression can be. As a rule, people judge others within the first 3 to 5
seconds of meeting them. The judgment is made subliminally, without conscious
thought, so it is important that individuals do their best to make a good
impression, professionally and personally. Oftentimes, it is the simplest
concepts of good manners or business etiquette that are forgotten.
Nevertheless, there are steps that anyone can take to improve the impression
they make in those crucial first moments.
The Basics of Good
Impressions
The cornerstones of proper business etiquette are the following:
- Be
on time.
- Dress
appropriately for an occasion.
- Address
everyone respectfully, such as by their last name.
- Maintain
eye contact, but do not stare.
- Speak
clearly, confidently, and do not rush through your thoughts or sentences.
- Offer
a firm handshake.
Smile, Smile, Smile
A confident, relaxed smile is
the best way to put other people at ease. Scientists have found that smiling is
an important social cue, and that other people will respond to
smiles on both a conscious and subliminal level. If a person smiles in joy,
others around them will smile, and their brain activity will actually mimic the
activity in the brain of the person that initiated the smile.
While people have some
ability to detect fake smiles, this ability is not well-developed, and a good
fake smile can fool most people. Whether or not you really feel it, put a smile
on your face when meeting new people and, indirectly, people will also feel
happy to see you. That feeling will resonate every time they think of you.
Good Manners Never Go Out of
Style
While your parents should
have taught you good manners growing up, here’s a quick primer on the basics
that can really make a difference on your first impression.
Language
Good manners are indicative
of your respect for yourself and others. “Please,” “Thank You,” and “You’re
Welcome,” are not meaningless words; they demonstrate to others that you value
their effort, thought, and/or generosity. Using socially significant words,
offer behavioral cues to other people when you meet for the first time; this is
particularly true when engaging with your elders.
Nevertheless, good manners
should not be reserved for superiors, but extended to everyone with whom you
interact. Maintaining consistency with your interactions will avoid others
thinking you play favorites or are a boss’s pet.
Names
Furthermore, it is rude to
use someone’s first name unless given permission to do so, since it indicates a
degree of familiarity the other person may not desire. Always address others in
business by their title (Mr., Mrs., or Ms.) and their last name, unless they
request you use a given name or nickname.
In an informal business
atmosphere, it may be customary to address everyone by their first names, but
it is best to wait for an invitation and avoid offending potential managers or
co-workers.
Attire and Dress
It is usually better to be
overdressed than under-dressed. Once again, the way a person dresses can
demonstrate their respect for whoever they are meeting.
For example, showing up for a
job interview in inappropriate attire means either you do not understand the
job, or you do not care whether or not you are hired. A suit is usually
appropriate for office positions, while a clean polo shirt, dress shirt, or
blouse, and khakis or jeans may be proper for factory or construction jobs.
Similarly, whether you’re
interviewing for a professional job or meeting your boyfriend/girlfriend’s
parents, you should always dress conservatively. Here are a few factors to keep
in mind:
- Less skin – long skirts, shirts with sleeves,
nothing too tight
- Simple
colors – blue/navy suit, ties without designs
- Hide
tattoos – I recommend classy tattoo ideas if you plan to get one
Eye Contact
Eye contact is
another important cue, and those who do not make eye contact place themselves
at a social disadvantage, especially during public speaking. Most people believe that
those who do not make eye contact are lying or avoiding something, or that they
lack the confidence to interact effectively with other people.
While it is impolite to stare
at other people, it is important to watch their faces, make regular eye contact
when communicating, and occasionally look away.
Speaking
When meeting someone for the
first time, it is important to make your words count, especially when it’s your
turn to answer interview questions. Additionally, others
may not be able to understand you if you do not speak clearly and in a voice
loud enough to be heard.
A clear, well-modulated
speaking voice is an important social tool, and contributes to the ease of
communication and a good first impression.
Handshake
Shaking hands is a social
ritual in America, and having a firm handshake shows self-confidence, an
important asset for any employee. While the handshake should be firm, too much
pressure shows a desire to dominate and can be a negative signal. Keep
handshakes friendly and painless.
What Not To Do
While it is acceptable to
talk about subjects other than business with employers or fellow employees,
avoid discussing politics and religion. Many people have strong feelings about
these topics and if your opinion differs from theirs, an unpleasant argument
could ensue. Stick with neutral topics in the workplace to avoid offending
co-workers or your boss.
While humor is essential to a
pleasant work atmosphere, tasteless jokes, especially those which target a
specific gender, cultural group or sensitive topic, are not funny and may
create legal difficulties for you and your employer. The same is true of jokes
with sexual overtones. Save these jokes for like-minded friends at your
Wednesday night poker game.
Finally, never bad mouth a
current or past employer, or engage in malicious gossip about co-workers. This
also applies to any online presence you may have on social media, like Facebook
or Twitter. Employers often monitor comments made on social networks, so use privacy
settings or a separate private account if you intend to make any negative
comments about your job or co-workers. Better yet, just don’t do it. If you
would not want your mother to see a picture or read a comment, keep it off your
public pages.
Traveling
Overseas
Before meeting business
associates in other countries, it is wise to educate yourself on the customs of
other cultures and the background of the individuals you will be meeting.
Behavior which might be considered acceptable or even unimpeachable in the U.S.
may be considered offensive by people with different social rules.
In Japan, for example,
business associates formally exchange business cards, while in China, a small
token on behalf of your business is usually presented at the first meeting.
In some Middle Eastern
countries, a gift of wine, cognac or whiskey would not be well received since
the predominant religion, Islam, forbids the consumption of alcohol.
Being unaware of the customs
practiced in other countries can result in creating a bad impression, and the
appearance that you or your firm does not research and prepare in advance.
Final Word
While it may be trite, the
best advice may be to treat other people as you wish to be treated. A friendly,
courteous demeanor is always a good way to make a favorable first impression on
the people you meet. When you think about the way others will perceive you,
consider your reaction when meeting different people, and emulate the ones who
made the best first impression on you.
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