PERSONAL SPECIAL No One Can Make You
Feel Inferior Without Your Consent
Nothing hinders achievement
and accomplishment like feeling inferior and acting without confidence.
Unfortunately, most feelings
of inferiority and lack of confidence come from a lifetime of other people
telling us that we can’t or that we aren’t good enough.
Where
Does Criticism Come From?
The truth is that once you
realize that these issues come from tiny little comments made by others, they
seem pretty silly, and changing course becomes easy. If overcoming your
feelings of inferiority is a process, then step one is figuring out where
these feelings come from and understanding why it’s silly to let anyone
make you feel a certain way.
This concept stems from two
different ideas. First, be sure to separate the event from the subjective way
you feel about it. When you say “that person insulted me, and it hurt,” that’s
two things. First, that person insulted you. That happened, and there is no way
around that. The second, “and it hurt” is up to you. You can choose how events
make you feel. Next time someone tries to belittle you, stop and think about
how it affects you. The answer is that it doesn’t affect you at all unless you decide
to let it.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent.” – Eleanore Roosevelt
It’s also important to
consider the source of the insult. Face it; most insults don’t come from
your best friend, or your significant other (and if they do, you need to
re-evaluate those relationships). Insults come from the smug coworker, the
cynical friend, or the adult bully.
There’s a common thread
between all of these people. They’re all the kinds of people who themselves
lack confidence or are sad, or lonely. Being smug, cynical, and mean is simply
a defense mechanism. They don’t want people to see their shortcomings, so they
highlight the faults of others. This is pretty sad, and you should feel sorry
for these people.
How
to Be Mentally Strong
Mentally strong people can
prevent so much grief and are ready to accomplish so much more because they
understand the criticism for what it is: a sad and lonely person’s
reflection of themselves. Not only do strong people let insults slide off, but
they respond by being kind-hearted and helping to lift the bully up – attempting
to not only keep themselves above water but to pull others up with them as
well.
Next time someone tries to
make you feel inferior, you’re probably going to get upset. But at some
point, while you’re processing the insult, you’re going to remember this
article. Then, I want you to stop, breathe, and consider what that insult
really is.
On one level, the insult is
simply a string of words, and words can’t affect you. You can choose not to
assign any meaning to those words, and avoid feeling blue all together. On the
second level, insults are usually words of sad and hurt people. Ask yourself:
what kind of barrier is this person trying to put up by acting in this way? Is
he trying to protect his own insecurities and faults? The answer is almost
certainly ‘yes’. Real winners and people with real confidence don’t put people
down; they pull them up.
BY ERIC
WINDMILL
http://www.lifehack.org/453162/no-one-can-make-you-feel-inferior-without-your-consent?ref=mail&mtype=daily_newsletter&mid=20161102_customized&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=click
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