Is Your Personality
Flawed? Learn the 7 Ways to Be More Likable
I study great
conversationalists for a living. The best conversationalists are all very
likable. The reason many people struggle to acquire/maintain friendships,
progress through careers, or find romance is often the result of one thing:
their personalities are flawed.
The seven most likable
personality traits are listed below. As you read each one, honestly assess
whether you fall closer to the likable trait or the opposite side of the
spectrum.
Be Humble
Admit your mistakes and don’t
brag. Give others credit. Embracing your flaws is disarming. People will warm
up to you quickly and more easily identify with you. Don’t
be arrogant.
Example: “He’s an amazing
artist. I still struggle drawing triangles!”
Be Caring And Unselfish
Care about others and what
they are saying, doing, and feeling. Ask follow-up questions, and reference
something they said in the past. Share and relate to their feelings. Don’t
be cold or self-centered.
Example: “You mentioned last
month you were thinking of _____, did you end up doing that?”
Be Positive
Not many people enjoy hanging
out with Debbie Downer or Eeyore. You increase
your odds of being likeable by generally remaining optimistic and looking for
the good in life. You will see more good in things simply by trying to see more good. Avoid complaining
too much. Don’t be too cynical, negative, or
bitter.
Example: “At least we were
able to _____.”
Be Enthusiastic
Give your words and
expressions some life! You don’t have to be a cheerleader, but if someone tells
you some good news, be excited for them. Put some feeling and energy in your
voice. Remember, if you aren’t adding energy, you may be unintentionally subtracting
from it.Don’t be an Energy
Vampire.
Example: “I love your kitchen… it reminds me of _____.”
Be Goal Oriented And Passionate
Have direction in life and be
able to share your goals. Working towards goals will increase your inner
confidence. People are drawn to success and passion. Develop hobbies and
passions. Talk about them. Don’t be overly lazy and
uninspiring.
Example: “This weekend, I’m
volunteering for _____ / running a _____ / trying to build a _____.”
Be Playful
Lighten up! Humor and
playfulness are critical to exceptional conversation, but also the hardest to
achieve. For now, don’t be too serious all
the time.
Example: “Even if I miss the
game, I avoid everyone until I can watch it. I’m actually good at avoiding
everyone. If there was a career for professional avoiders, I’d be a very
wealthy man by now!”
Be Flexible
Adapt to changing
environments. Don’t turn cranky when something doesn’t go your way. Being
flexible means being easy-going and going with the flow of conversation instead
of stopping it. Play along with silly jokes. Don’t be rigid or defensive with
friends.
Example: “It’s closed? That’s
okay, I bet we can find some cool ____ over at _____ too!”
Did you discover any traits
you need to work on? Are there multiple areas for growth? If you aren’t sure,
it helps to ask a friend or confidant. Honestly assessing your strengths and
weaknesses now is crucial to improving in the future. When I work with my
clients, I always start with non-verbal skills and the seven likable traits.
Personality traits are easiest to assess, tweak, and evaluate. Spend some time
over the next week thinking about these traits as you interact with others.
Systematically work on improving one of the seven traits. Notice what
happens. Notice how the other person reacts.
If you want to become more
likable, you need to emulate the best. Compared to losing weight or getting
rich, improving your personality is easy. You just need to try.
BY GREGORY PEART http://www.lifehack.org/431553/is-your-personality-flawed-learn-the-7-ways-to-be-more-likable?ref=mail&mtype=daily_newsletter&mid=20160830_customized&uid=687414&email=drmsriram%40yahoo.com&action=click
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