How to Say No When It Really Counts
What do you do when a client demands services that are not in the
contract? How do you respond when your boss orders you to do something
questionable? What are your options when a public official offers to “move
things along” if you help him or her out?
To
learn more about effective strategies, I reached out to three colleagues who
specialize in situations like these: Mariano Mosquera, director of the “Transparency Observatory” at Catholic
University of Córdoba, Argentina, who teaches classes for business
professionals trying to resist corruption; Joshua Weiss, senior fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Project; and Richard Bistrong, chief executive officer at Front-Line Anti-Bribery LLC
and a former FBI cooperator who served 14 and a half months in federal prison
for violating foreign bribery laws.
All
three warned against making hasty assumptions when strategizing. Although
saying no can bring significant risks — to your relationships, your career, and
sometimes even your safety — saying yes in fraught situations can be just as
risky. “Reputational risks are growing so fast,” Mosquera says, describing how
the prospect of being identified in social media can damage individuals and
companies. “The legal risk is no longer the most important risk.” Even
accommodating a client can backfire. “If things crash and burn,” Weiss says,
“the client can end up costing you more than you earn — and your
reputation will be damaged.” And, as a
junior employee in the LIBOR scandal just learned, going along with your boss’s directions is no
protection against going to jail. Still have doubts? Read Richard Bistrong’s
post, “I'm
sentenced to prison. Now what?”
To
avoid these damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t scenarios, the key is
strengthen your hand before you get into the situation. Here
are six strategies these experts recommend:
• Anticipate
the pressure.
“The
most important thing is to anticipate the corrupt situation,” Mosquera says.
Countries, companies, and clients vary. Learn the integrity practices of your
setting. Then, use standardized methods — such as having transactions reviewed
by others or never going to a meeting alone — to discourage inappropriate
offers and requests. Even as a small company or an individual, you can develop
a policy that explains your position on transparency, ethics, or values. Ask
yourself: Why do I want to say no? Then, incorporate that into
how you frame key conversations. For example, in meetings in which clients
might ask about confidential sources, one consultant I know opens by saying,
“This report reflects very candid input, which we were able to obtain due to
our commitment to confidentiality.”
• Strengthen
your hand.
“People
tend to pressure those who seem to be weaker, who can’t do anything about it,”
Weiss says. Increase your leverage by actively cultivating options — what
negotiators call your best alternative
to a negotiated agreement. What other deals are in
your pipeline? Who else needs the value you have to offer? What other clients
might be more profitable? Stopping to do a strategic analysis takes discipline,
but it gives you confidence and staying power. Weiss notes that one executive,
when faced with pressure from a government official, responded, “We may have to
take the slower route on this project.”
• Redirect the
conversation.
Saying
no can easily come across as an attack, a challenge, or an insult. Instead,
approach it more like the Japanese self-defense practice of aikido: Simply decline with courtesy and respect, then refocus
the conversation on ways to move forward. For example, one vendor I know said
to a client, “I’m not sure that strategy will get you to your goals. What if we
tried xyz instead?” If the situation feels unsafe, Bistrong suggests a
diplomatic, noncommittal response. Mosquera’s students even advise spilling
your drink to get out of a dangerous situation.
• Maintain
your exits.
“The
closer you get to a finish line, the easier it is to get hooked into
‘escalating commitment’ and compromise,” Bistrong says. “You may tell yourself,
‘It’s the end of the quarter, I’ve turned in my forecast — how can I let
things fall apart now?’” But this is precisely the time that it is most
important to take a step back and think about your options. “If you are struggling,
call home. Listen to the voices of your loved ones,” he says. “If you make the
wrong decision, those are the voices you could lose.”
• Call
for reinforcements.
Ask
for help. Call your boss, call compliance, call a friend. Weiss suggests
enrolling someone who is highly respected to help you deliver a difficult
message. Bistrong recommends a candid sit-down with your leader about what is
likely to happen and how you should deal with it. He also says that mid-level
leaders need to be crystal-clear about where they stand. “Tell your direct
reports, ‘Even if it is the day before the end of quarter, it doesn’t matter.
You need to speak up, get the problem off your shoulders, and get it to the
people on your team.’” Companies that aren’t so clear are likely to get into
trouble.
• Underscore
your no.
Finally,
expect and prepare for some pushback. “The person hearing your no will likely
react in predictable stages, what we call the ‘curve
of acceptance,’” Weiss says. Don’t react to his or her
reactions. Instead, maintain your no with respect. Avoid any sign of antagonism
or judgment, and leave the door open for a return when everyone is ready to
solve the problem.
Regardless of the strategy you pursue, there
will be some costs to saying no. But forewarned is forearmed. With practice,
you can minimize the backlash and keep the things that are truly important. A
financial analyst I interviewed once had a boss who routinely pressured him to
work weekends. “Don’t you have a wife and kids?” the analyst asked. “Wouldn’t
you rather we got our work done by Friday, so both of us could have the
weekend?” The two of them worked out a plan. If done with respect, your no may
actually bring out the other person’s best.
Elizabeth Doty
http://www.strategy-business.com/blog/How-to-Say-No-When-It-Really-Counts?gko=b692c&utm_source=itw&utm_medium=20160920&utm_campaign=resp
No comments:
Post a Comment