This Is The Scientific Way To
Win Any Argument (And Not Make Enemies)
It’s not about the specific points you make, it’s all about how you
position them.
You’re in the middle of a heated
discussion–or fine, let’s just call it an argument–and the person whom you’re trying
convince seems unable or unwilling to grasp your point of view. What should you
do?
For starters, you should realize that your
odds aren’t exactly superb. Belief change, as psychologist and fellow Fast
Company contributor Art Markman put it, is frequently “a war of attrition. There’s usually
no one argument that can suddenly get someone to see the light.” Still, some
fascinating research suggests that reframing your ideas can boost your
opponent’s receptiveness to them. Here’s how it works.
BUT FIRST, “FRAMES”
Before you can reframe an argument, you need
to understand what “frames” are in the first places. They’re simply the term
psychologists give to the theoretical filters or categories our minds use
to help us store, manage, and interpret the meaning of information.
Our brains deploy frames out of necessity.
Though the brain is an incredibly powerful organ, it’s limited in its ability to process
information. As a result, it instinctively creates these
categories for understanding its experience of the world. The type of frame a
person may be using determines how they’ll perceive and respond to what you say
and do. For instance, imagine you’re in the market for a new car. Here are
three different frames (though there can be many more) that might describe the
exact same car:
- Frame
#1: The car is blue.
- Frame
#2: The car is for sale and priced at $30,000.
- Frame
#3: The car is two years old.
The first frame is aesthetic (the car’s
color), the next is economic (the car’s price and market value), and the third
is historical (the car’s age). While all this information can be held in mind
simultaneously, it’s possible to rearrange the frames that organize it by order
of preference; your preferred frame will alter your perception of the car’s
value and influence whether or not you’ll purchase it.
CHANGING FRAMES
So how can you coax someone who’s stuck in a
certain frame to try on another one–and to consider the validity of your
argument? The answer is counterintuitive: You change their frame
by reframing your own position.
Behavioral scientists Matthew Feinburg and
Robb Willer conducted six
experiments with a total of 1,322 participants,
seeking to identify how to make the most effective political arguments to those
people with opposing political beliefs. They found that “compliance rates” with
a given political message increased if that message was reframed to leverage
the existingbeliefs of the listener.
In one of their experiments, which dealt with
the topic of same-sex marriage, politically liberal participants were more
persuaded when the argument was reframed to focus on fairness (treating
everyone equally), while conservative-leaning participants found the argument
more compelling when it was framed to emphasize how same-sex couples were
loyal, patriotic Americans.
Feinburg and
Willer concluded that to win someone to your position,
it’s best not to challenge their beliefs but to instead connect your own
position to those beliefs (which, obviously, means empathizing
with values you may not share–often the tricky part). Doing this can help
others see the legitimacy of your position and reduce the perceptual gap
between your viewpoint and theirs.
USE THESE FRAME-CHANGING SCRIPTS
So if you’re in a disagreement with a
coworker who’s feeling anxious about moving ahead with a new project, you could
say:
I respect your commitment to doing what’s
best for the company [existing belief]. Can I share with you the two reasons
why this new project will strengthen the company?
Suddenly you’ve reframed the dispute around a
shared belief: the health of the company.
Or perhaps you’re sharing your plan to
improve production rates and your manager tells you that what you’re
recommending is too costly. Instead of trying to justify the cost, reframe your
position by connecting it with her existing beliefs:
I know you want to improve our production
capabilities to make sure we’re able to meet the new objectives for the year
[existing belief]. My concern is that if we under-invest in these upgrades,
we’ll limit our ability to grow our output, which will cost us a lot in lost
production. The plan I’ve put together is priced to grow production so that
we’ll meet our objectives.
What the research on reframing shows is that
the key to winning any argument is to understand your opponents’
perspective first, and then to link the beliefs supporting
their perspective to your argument. The point is to influence them by finding
enough common ground to win them to your side–not running to opposite corners
and shouting across the divide.
BY DAVID HOFFELD
https://www.fastcompany.com/40517659/this-is-the-scientific-way-to-win-any-argument-and-not-make-enemies?utm_source=postup&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Fast%20Company%20Daily&position=3&partner=newsletter&campaign_date=01192018
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