10 Ways to Successfully Handle Defeat
I can remember as a kid watching ABC's Wide World of Sports. The
introduction of the show was fascinating. As the opening credits started, Jim
McKay's signature voice welcomed all viewers. "Spanning the globe to bring
you a constant variety of sports." On screen, the action was incredible
and in vivid color; moments of amazing drama quickly unfolded. McKay's
narration continued, "The thrill of victory." Action shots of
athletes at the top of their game, on the field, hands raised, victorious.
"And the agony of defeat." A ski jumper falling just a few yards from
his take off point, body tumbling over the edge of the ramp, limp like a rag
doll.
"If passion drives you, you will stay in the game as long
as it takes to be successful."
I have always loved a good victory dance. And who doesn't love a
win, regardless of the victory coming from the workplace, on the field, or in
life. Although I have never been a big fan of professional sports, I still
appreciate glorious moments like a world series win or a dance in the end zone
after a touchdown.
The images remain in my mind from the show's opening, but for
many years, I never truly understood why anyone would possibly put themselves
in the direct line of fire with the agony of defeat, until I started my own
business and put all of my effort, energy and passion into this part of my
life. Now I understand much more clearly. Without risk, there is no reward. The
potential thrill from being victorious comes with the possibility of meeting
victory's nemesis, defeat.
"The potential thrill from being victorious comes with the
possibility of meeting victory's nemesis, defeat."
Driven by the goal of developing a winning business plan or a
gold medal idea, I have pushed myself through defeat when it has occurred. And
it has reared its ugly head more often than I care to mention or have time to
write about in this blog. As I think back to the many business defeats I
endured, restarts in my career and flops that I have experienced, I share with
you 10 ways I deal with defeat:
1. Learn a lesson. Use this opportunity (yes, there is
opportunity in defeat) to reflect on what just happened. Did you lose the deal
because you were unresponsive to your customer or was your pricing too high?
Did you and your team deliver poor service or were you in over your head when
you started? Take away from your defeat a lesson and try to keep it from
happening in the future.
2. See the glass half full. Look at all the good things you are
accomplishing. Be an optimist and get your head in the right place. You are
taking risk when you step outside your comfort zone. Get uncomfortable, you
will succeed. Stay positive, focused and happy. Your positive perception of a
situation will help you stay upbeat. See the glass filled to the brim.
3. Every failure puts you one step closer to
success. Play the odds and
know they are now in your favor. If you have just experienced defeat, all is
good, you are getting closer to success.
4. See opportunity in every failure. Some of the best business ideas have come as
a result of defeat or failure. In 1968, in an attempt to develop a super strong
adhesive, a scientist at 3M developed a "low tack" reusable adhesive
that is now the glue applied to the back of each Post-It Note produced. Look
for your opportunity when you are defeated. It could be worth millions.
5. Look for guidance from the experts. Always be a student. When defeat finds you,
seek the counsel of someone wiser than you. Use personal contacts, social media
contacts, blogs, discussion groups and professionals in your industry to help
you determine what went wrong. Seeking the guidance of professionals is not a
sign of weakness, but rather a show of humility.
6. Keep your eye on the prize. Setting goals is an excellent way to
overcome defeat. Knowing that you will experience setbacks, roadblocks and a
few bumps along the way will help you see past them and allow you to focus on
your goals.
7. Take responsibility and do not blame others. The only person to blame when you are
defeated is you. It's not the economy, the competition, a teammate or a
co-worker. It's you. Here's the best part, you are in control of you and no one
else. Take the hit squarely and move on.
8. Stay in the game and don't give up. The only way defeat will end up as failure
is if you quit. Remember why you started to pursue your dreams in the first
place? If passion drives you, you will stay in the game as long as it takes to
be successful. The enemy of defeat is persistence. You will win if you stay at
it long enough.
9. Continue to give it your best effort. Anything worth doing is worth doing
right. Provide your best effort. If you don't think you will be able to provide
your best effort, don't start. If you are just going through the motions you
will experience defeat over and over again, and it will take its toll on you.
Give it your best and defeat will have a tough time grabbing hold.
10.
Believe
in yourself. I saved this one
for last because if all else fails believing in yourself will pull you through.
I have experienced time and time again when the only thing holding me from
defeat was faith in myself and the words, "I can do it." You are
strong enough, good enough and deserving of all scores in the win column.
If you approach anything in life with an attitude of positivity,
defeat might still find you, but its visit will be brief. I encourage you to
feed your brain with positivity, avoid the naysayers and stay in action. You
will never be able to control all of the external forces hitting you from all
directions, but you can control how you respond to what is happening.
Challenges, defeat and failure will present great opportunity while you are on
the road to victory. I am looking forward to seeing you in the winner's circle.
Doug Sandler
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