Don't Let First Impression Fool
You. Check These 7 Things Instead
Have you often been let down by people you considered to be your friends?
Ever been fooled by people who you thought were your well-wishers, but got
backstabbed by them? Then it’s possible that you may be a poor judge of people
and end up taking them at face value at first impression, instead of really
getting to know them beforehand…
As human beings, we need people around us and
need to be in social contact with each other. This is why we make friends and
spend time in each other’s company – and why we actively seek out people we
like to be with. Sometimes though, it’s easy to be taken in by a person’s
outward charm, forming a first impression, only to later discover that from the
inside, they are completely different.
Don’t get us wrong, we are not trying to say
that the world is a bad place, but to know whether we can actually be lasting
friends with someone, it’s very important to know the other person truly to
avoid any unpleasant discoveries or situations later on…
The idea is not to judge people – the idea is
to know people fully and make the right decisions about them so as to not be
fooled by those who don’t have good wishes for us, or not underestimate those
who may not look the part but are really nice people. This is why a first
impression, dazzling as it may be, does not hold true many a time.
Things that Can Help You Quickly
Evaluate a Person
Whether you are hiring someone, or making a
new friend or even getting romantically involved with someone – it is important
not to fall for surface beauty and dig a little deeper about how the person
actually is on the inside. This is so that we form the company we actually want
or need, instead of having people who increase negativity around us and hold us
back from reaching our true potential. Read and learn about how you can be a
better judge of people, to see if the person you just encountered can actually
be a good addition to your life…
How Much Do They Listen vs. Talk?
People, who are likely to be a good addition
in your life, are the ones who are good listeners. They don’t just hear what
you have to say but are concerned and caring enough to actually listen to all
that you are saying, and even all that you are not. These are the people who
are interested in you and care for you, and so they are willing to invest their
time and attention on you. They will listen to you, try and make changes for
you and even interrupt you if they feel you have misunderstood them or are heading
the wrong way. Many might pretend to listen to you to leave a good first
impression but then how long will that false interest last? If someone
perpetually interrupts you when you talk, they are probably only interested in
themselves and you may be barking up the wrong tree in this case.
Are They Intrinsically Kind?
People who are “nice” on the inside, make a
special effort to treat the everyday people they encounter nicely. Basically,
it’s all about the magic words and of course, having a sunny disposition.
Someone who considers themselves to be too high up to pay any attention to the
service providers around them are likely to be mean of heart and small of mind.
You want to have kind people around you or even working for you – simply
because they make the world, and especially your world, a little better and a
lot brighter.
As Mark Twain said, “Kindness is the language
the deaf can hear and the blind can see!”
Do They “Act On” or “React To” What You Say?
You may have noticed – that when you give the
same feedback or comment to any two or more people, you get varied results.
Some people take what you said or asked them to do in a positive manner and use
criticism constructively as well. Still, others tend to take offense to what
you say and react with anger, resentment, and negativity. Do you really want to
be around such people? Everyone can pretend goodness to leave a positive first
impression but anger shows through sooner or later.
Do They Make You Feel Warm, or Embarrassed?
Frankly, everyone likes to be appreciated and
loved. If someone comes up to you and says nice things, it is likely to make
you feel happy, loved and all fuzzy inside. And yet there are times when
flattery makes you uncomfortable or even embarrassed, be it at first impression
or later. These are the people you’d probably want to avoid because your gut
might be telling you that their sweet words have an agenda behind them which
may be making you downright uncomfortable. Steer clear or make your feelings
clear too…
Flattery looks like friendship just like a
wolf looks like a dog!
Are They Sunshine People or Those From
Darkness?
There are some of those in the world you can
literally light up a dismal atmosphere simply by being themselves. And yet
there are those who can freeze conversation, kill laughter and leave you
feeling vaguely depressed about yourself and your life. The first kind of
people have positive energy – they are happy people who like to spread
happiness and smiles and if you have them as a friend, count your lucky stars.
They are also those with far too much of negativity in them, and can quickly
turn a sunny day dark and dismal. These are the people who hold you back from
reaching your true potential and pass on their negative energy to you. 5
Can You Spend A While With This Person?
Many of us often make friends that we then go
long lengths to avoid. These are the people who are an intrinsic and basic
mismatch with us. They may be nice people, but they are not the kind our
personality gels with. It could be a matter of opposing beliefs, varied
interests or just a personality mismatch. If we find spending time with that
person a drag, the relationship is not going to last much now, is it?
Do They Set Off Warning Signs In Your Gut?
The heart can be fooled and the mind can be
swayed but the gut gives you the truest reading of anyone, the very first time
you meet them. They are times when you may find someone off-putting, for no
given reason but your instinct – and yet you still end up being in contact with
them. Only to have your gut proven right in the end! As human beings, un-backed
by science, we do end up picking up on the vibes people give off – and
sometimes those vibes are most definitely negative. Heed yourself then, and
approach cautiously. Not to say that you should ban that person from your life;
for making snap decisions based on a frist impression isn’t right. You can
certainly approach the next few meetings with eyes open wide, and a mind and
heart tuned to pick up further strangeness.
Ultimately, the decision of who you want to
be friends with, in love with or even work with lies with you. Don’t be in a
hurry to form an impression, and don’t always think that your first impression
about someone is a 100% correct. People have nuances and facets and more importantly,
sometimes people do change as well, as well as trying to appear to be what they
are not – learn to read between and behind the lines and keep your heart, head,
eyes, and ears wide open to avoid getting hurt or being betrayed!
Rima Pundir
http://www.lifehack.org/602902/dont-let-first-impression-fool-you-check-these-7-things-instead?ref=mail&mtype=newsletter_tier_1&mid=20170615&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=click
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