Why Empathy Makes for Stronger Organisations
Executives’ ability to
see themselves from the outside and others from the inside, plays an important
role in effective team formation
The strategy meeting
was running smoothly. For days, the senior management team had been preparing
intensely for their final presentations about a planned corporate
transformation to the CEO. He was quite unpredictable. Would he go for their
plan, or shoot them down?
As the CFO began her
overview, the CEO’s phone rang. To everybody’s surprise, he took the call and
walked out of the room. The CFO waited for a few moments, not sure if she
should continue. She did a quick redirect and addressed her comments to the
others, but she was secretly fuming. When the CEO returned thirty minutes
later, all he said was a curt “Sorry about that.” The discussion that followed
floundered; the meeting was an opportunity lost.
This was not the
first time the CEO had acted this way. He didn’t seem to care how other people
felt. But this time, his lack of empathy would cost him dearly. Enough was
enough for many in the senior team. A number of them refocused on their own
divisions so that even if the overall company wouldn’t do very well, they would
still look good. As many expected, the company’s waning strategic agility
contributed to a rapid loss in market share, and eventually, to a shareholder
revolt. Hundreds of employees were fired.
I heard the story
about the strategy meeting much later from the CEO. I suggested that he might
consider developing his level of empathy. He was quite surprised. He knew, of
course, what the word “empathy” meant. As a matter of fact, he considered
himself an empathetic person. But he also felt that too much empathy could
hinder people from getting the job done. They were in a very competitive
business. People who had risen to the level of the executive committee should
be tough enough to get on with it, and not be swayed by personal issues.
What is empathy?
Empathy is not the
same as sympathy, which involves feelings of compassion, sorrow, or pity. It is
the ability to imagine the emotional experience of another person, their pain,
joy, anger, in our heart. Thus empathy is a core component in effective and
satisfying interpersonal relationships. It helps us to make sense of what is
said or not said; what is done or not done. It enhances
our ability to receive and process information, and to find solutions. Empathy
strengthens bonds of trust, and it is the basis for our intrinsic sense of
justice. In particular, empathy with the negative, that is, with
the emotions behind someone’s unpleasant or destructive actions, can provide
clues to behavior.
The neurological
drive towards social bonding
Empathy has played a
key role in human evolution as a mechanism to enhance parental nurturing and
protection. Indeed, much of our ability to empathise derives from childhood
experiences with parents and other caregivers. There also seems to be a
neurological component to empathy. The chemical currency of empathy is controlled
by a group of neurotransmitters — endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin
— that reward us by making us feel good. In particular, oxytocin (also known as
the “love hormone”) seems to play an important role in social bonding by, among
other things, making us more sensitive to the emotions of others.
Empathetic leaders
Like this CEO, there
are many (often successful) people in organisations who are direly lacking in
empathy. Some executives are quite narcissistic. Self-centered as they are, they
may find it difficult to put themselves in other people’s shoes. Other
executives may have sociopathic traits. They project an air of sincerity, but
in reality they feel nothing, and are fine with that. Some people even turn
empathy into a destructive force, using their keen sense of a person’s
emotional state to manipulate or destabilize him or her. Many more people, like
the CEO, are wary of the chaos that might ensue if “personal feelings” were
acknowledged. But behaving in these ways in our increasingly network-oriented
society comes with a steep price.
Empathic executives
are better at managing relationships. They establish safe environments in which
people can express hopes and fears. Because it is “contagious,” empathy
contributes to better negotiation, collaboration, and conflict resolution.
Empathy plays an important role in effective team formation. When the
expression of empathy is part of a company’s culture, its stress level will be
lower. All of these advantages lead to a more committed workforce with a
greater motivation to perform beyond expectations.
The CEO could see my
point. He then asked:
How can I make it
work?
Empathy has been
described as the ability to see ourselves from the outside and others from the
inside. Seeing from the outside means to recognise and accept our own feelings.
To see the inside of others, it’s essential to listen very carefully and
patiently, without judging. It’s important for the person to feel that you are
fully present. No checking social media, no phone calls. Also, you need to be
mindfully aware of the non-verbal behavior of the other person. You should
refrain from giving advice immediately, and be careful that your own ideas
don’t get in the way. To use Moliere’s words, “We need to examine ourselves for
a very long time before thinking of condemning others.”
Empathy goes two ways
The CEO acknowledged
that he had not been very empathetic to the presenter. With hindsight, he
admitted although she kept a cool exterior, she was probably quite nervous and
hoping for his approval. Then the CEO told me his mother was gravely ill at the
time. The phone call was from his sister. His abrupt departure and return hid
his emotional distress.
I agreed that the CFO
and the other senior executives could also have been more empathetic in that
meeting. Someone could have asked the CEO, at least later in private, if
everything was all right. But no one had, so what did that say about the level
of empathy of others in the group? No one seemed able to empathise with the
negative: seeking to understand the source of the CEO’s apparently rude action.
Lack of empathy
prevents awareness of the experiences of others, even in organisations, and
leads to insensitivity and misunderstanding.
Because it is
an early and critical element of our human experience, it could be argued that
to resist expressing empathy in organisations, is to deny a fundamental
characteristic of what makes us human. Visibly caring about the well-being of
others creates reciprocity; empathy begets empathy.
Work on empathy; develop your curiosity
about yourself from the outside, and about others from the inside. Your
organisation will be a better place.
Manfred Kets de Vries, INSEAD Distinguished Clinical Professor of Leadership Development & Organisational Change
Read more at
http://knowledge.insead.edu/blog/insead-blog/why-empathy-makes-for-stronger-organisations-4815?utm_source=INSEAD+Knowledge&utm_campaign=731e07d4f7-28_July_mailer7_28_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_e079141ebb-731e07d4f7-249840429#fBIUdK6Qf8KQJdwi.99
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