12 Ways to Know You Genuinely Have
Emotional Intelligence
Genuine people have a profound impact on everyone they encounter.
Discover the unique habits that cause them to radiate energy and confidence.
There's an
enormous amount of research suggesting that emotional intelligence (EQ) is
critical to your performance at work. TalentSmart has tested the EQ of more than a million people and found that it explains 58
percent of success in all types of jobs.
People
with high EQs make $29,000 more annually than people with low EQs. Ninety
percent of top performers have high
EQs, and a single-point increase in your EQ adds
$1,300 to your salary. I could go on and on.
Suffice it to say, emotional intelligence is
a way to focus your energy with tremendous results.
But there's a catch. Emotional intelligence won't do a thing for
you if you aren't genuine.
A recent study from the Foster School of Business at the
University of Washington found that people don't accept demonstrations of
emotional intelligence at face value. They're too skeptical for that. They
don't just want to see signs of emotional intelligence. They also want to know
that it's genuine--that your emotions are authentic.
According to lead researcher Christina Fong, when it comes to
your co-workers,
"They are not just mindless automatons. They
think about the emotions they see and care whether they are sincere or
manipulative."
The same study found that sincere leaders are far more effective at motivating people, because they inspire trust and admiration through their actions, not just their words. Many leaders say that authenticity is important to them, but genuine leaders walk their talk every day.
It's not enough to just go through the motions, trying to
demonstrate qualities that are associated with emotional intelligence. You have
to be genuine.
You can do a gut check to find out how genuine you are by
comparing your own behavior with that of people who are highly genuine.
Consider the hallmarks of genuine people and see how you stack up.
"Authenticity requires a certain measure of
vulnerability, transparency, and integrity." -Janet Louise Stephenson
1. Genuine people don't try to make people like them.
Genuine people are who they are. They know that some people will
like them, and some won't. And they're OK with that. It's not that they don't
care whether other people will like them but simply that they're not going to
let that get in the way of doing the right thing. They're willing to make
unpopular decisions and to take unpopular positions if that's what needs to be
done.
Since genuine people aren't desperate for attention, they don't
try to show off. They know that when they speak in a friendly, confident, and
concise manner, people are much more attentive to and interested in what they
have to say than if they try to show that they're important. People catch on to
your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what or
how many people you know.
2. They don't pass judgment.
Genuine people are open-minded, which makes them approachable
and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who
has already formed an opinion and is not willing to listen.
Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace, as
approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived
notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people's eyes.
This doesn't require you to believe what they believe or condone their
behavior; it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly
understand what makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.
3. They forge their own paths.
Genuine people don't derive their sense of pleasure and
satisfaction from the opinions of others. This frees them up to follow their
own internal compasses. They know who they are and don't pretend to be anyone
else. Their direction comes from within, from their own principles and values.
They do what they believe to be the right thing, and they're not swayed by the
fact that somebody might not like it.
4. They are generous.
We've all worked with people who
constantly hold something back, whether it's knowledge or resources. They act
as if they're afraid you'll outshine them if they give you access to everything
you need to do your job. Genuine people are unfailingly generous with whom they
know, what they know, and the resources they have. They want you to do well,
because they're team players and they're confident enough to never worry that
your success might make them look bad. In fact, they believe that your
success is their success.
5. They treat everyone with respect.
Whether interacting with their biggest clients or servers taking
their drink orders, genuine people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They
understand that no matter how nice they are to the people they have lunch with,
it's all for naught if those people witness them behaving badly toward others.
Genuine people treat everyone with respect because they believe they're no
better than anyone else.
6. They aren't motivated by material things.
Genuine people don't need shiny, fancy stuff to feel good. It's
not that they think it's wrong to go out and buy the latest and greatest items
to show off their status; they just don't need to do this to be happy. Their
happiness comes from within, as well as from the simpler pleasures--such as
friends, family, and a sense of purpose--that make life rich.
7. They are trustworthy.
People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know
they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don't know who
that person really is and how he or she really feels. Genuine people mean
what they say, and if they make a commitment, they keep it. You never hear
truly genuine people say, "Oh, I just said that to make the meeting end
faster." You know that if they say something, it's because they believe it
to be true.
8. They are thick-skinned.
Genuine people have a strong enough sense of self that they
don't go around seeing offense that isn't there. If somebody criticizes one of
their ideas, they don't treat this as a personal attack. There's no need for
them to jump to conclusions, feel insulted, and start plotting their revenge.
They're able to objectively evaluate negative and constructive feedback, accept
what works, put it into practice, and leave the rest of it behind without
developing hard feelings.
9. They put away their phones.
Nothing turns someone off to you like a mid-conversation text
message or even a quick glance at your phone. When genuine people commit to a
conversation, they focus all of their energy on the conversation. You will find
that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself
in them. When you robotically approach people with small talk and are tethered
to your phone, this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from
having any real affinity for you. Genuine people create connection and find
depth even in short, everyday conversations. Their genuine interest in other
people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they're
told to other important facets of the speaker's life.
10. They aren't driven by ego.
Genuine people don't make decisions based on their egos because
they don't need the admiration of others to feel good about themselves. Likewise,
they don't seek the limelight or try to take credit for other people's
accomplishments. They simply do what needs to be done without saying,
"Hey, look at me!"
11. They aren't hypocrites.
Genuine people practice what they preach. They don't tell you to
do one thing and then do the opposite themselves. That's largely owing to their
self-awareness. Many hypocrites don't even recognize their mistakes. They're
blind to their own weaknesses. Genuine people, on the other hand, fix their own
problems first.
12. They don't brag.
We've all worked with people who can't stop talking about
themselves and their accomplishments. Have you ever wondered why? They boast
and brag because they're insecure and worried that if they don't point out
their accomplishments, no one will notice. Genuine people don't need to brag.
They're confident in their accomplishments, but they also realize that when you
truly do something that matters, it stands on its own merits, regardless of how
many people notice or appreciate it.
Bringing It All Together
Genuine people know who they are. They are confident enough to
be comfortable in their own skin. They are firmly grounded in reality, and
they're truly present in each moment because they're not trying to figure out
someone else's agenda or worrying about their own.
BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY
http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/12-habits-of-genuine-people.html?cid=em01016week32a
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