12
Habits of Genuine People
Genuine people have a profound impact on everyone they encounter.
Discover the unique habits that cause them to radiate energy and confidence.
There's
an enormous amount of research suggesting that emotional intelligence (EQ) is critical to your performance at work. TalentSmart has
tested the EQ of more than a million people and found that it explains 58
percent of success in all types of jobs.
People with high EQs make $29,000 more
annually than people with low EQs. Ninety percent of top performers have high
EQs, and a single-point increase in your EQ adds $1,300 to your salary. I could
go on and on.
Suffice it to say, emotional intelligence is
a way to focus your energy with tremendous results.
But there's a catch. Emotional intelligence
won't do a thing for you if you aren't genuine.
A recent study from the Foster School of
Business at the University of Washington found that people don't accept
demonstrations of emotional intelligence at face value. They're too skeptical
for that. They don't just want to see signs of emotional intelligence. They
also want to know that it's genuine--that your emotions are authentic.
According to lead researcher Christina Fong,
when it comes to your co-workers,
"They are not just
mindless automatons. They think about the emotions they see and care whether they
are sincere or manipulative."
The same study
found that sincere leaders are far more effective at motivating people, because
they inspire trust and admiration through their actions, not
just their words. Many leaders say that authenticity is
important to them, but genuine leaders walk their talk every day.
It's not enough to just go through the
motions, trying to demonstrate qualities that are associated with emotional
intelligence. You have to be genuine.
You can do a gut check to find out how genuine
you are by comparing your own behavior with that of people who are highly
genuine. Consider the hallmarks of genuine people and see how you stack up.
"Authenticity requires a
certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity." --Janet Louise
Stephenson
1. Genuine people don't try to make people
like them. Genuine
people are who they are. They know that some people will like them, and some
won't. And they're OK with that. It's not that they don't care whether
other people will like them but simply that they're not going to let that get
in the way of doing the right thing. They're willing to make unpopular
decisions and to take unpopular positions if that's what needs to be done.
Since genuine people aren't desperate for
attention, they don't try to show off. They know that when they speak in a
friendly, confident, and concise manner, people are much more attentive to and
interested in what they have to say than if they try to show that they're
important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to
the right attitude than what or how many people you know.
2. They don't pass judgment.
Genuine people
are open-minded, which makes them approachable and interesting to others. No
one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion
and is not willing to listen.
Having an open mind is crucial in the
workplace, as approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate
preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other
people's eyes. This doesn't require you to believe what they believe or condone
their behavior; it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly
understand what makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.
3. They forge their own paths.
Genuine people
don't derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from the opinions of
others. This frees them up to follow their own internal compasses. They know
who they are and don't pretend to be anyone else. Their direction comes from
within, from their own principles and values. They do what they believe to be
the right thing, and they're not swayed by the fact that somebody might not
like it.
4. They are generous.
We've all
worked with people who constantly hold something back, whether it's knowledge
or resources. They act as if they're afraid you'll outshine them if they give
you access to everything you need to do your job. Genuine people are
unfailingly generous with whom they know, what they know, and the resources
they have. They want you to do well, because they're team players and
they're confident enough to never worry that your success might make them look
bad. In fact, they believe that your success is their success.
5. They treat everyone with respect.
Whether interacting
with their biggest clients or servers taking their drink orders, genuine people
are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that no matter how nice
they are to the people they have lunch with, it's all for naught if those
people witness them behaving badly toward others. Genuine people treat everyone
with respect because they believe they're no better than anyone else.
6. They aren't motivated by material things.
Genuine people
don't need shiny, fancy stuff to feel good. It's not that they think it's wrong
to go out and buy the latest and greatest items to show off their status; they
just don't need to do this to be happy. Their happiness comes from within, as
well as from the simpler pleasures--such as friends, family, and a sense of purpose--that
make life rich.
7. They are trustworthy.
People
gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them.
It is difficult to like someone when you don't know who they really are and how
they really feel. Genuine people mean what they say, and if they make a
commitment, they keep it. You'll never hear a truly genuine person say,
"Oh, I just said that to make the meeting end faster." You know that
if they say something, it's because they believe it to be true.
8. They are thick-skinned.
Genuine people
have a strong enough sense of self that they don't go around seeing offense
that isn't there. If somebody criticizes one of their ideas, they don't treat
this as a personal attack. There's no need for them to jump to conclusions,
feel insulted, and start plotting their revenge. They're able to objectively
evaluate negative and constructive feedback, accept what works, put it into
practice, and leave the rest of it behind without developing hard feelings.
9. They put away their phones.
Nothing turns
someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance
at your phone. When genuine people commit to a conversation, they focus all of
their energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more
enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them. When you robotically
approach people with small talk and are tethered to your phone, this puts their
brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you.
Genuine people create connection and find depth even in short, everyday
conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to
ask good questions and relate what they're told to other important facets of
the speaker's life.
10. They aren't driven by ego. Genuine people don't make decisions based on their egos because
they don't need the admiration of others to feel good about themselves.
Likewise, they don't seek the limelight or try to take credit for other
people's accomplishments. They simply do what needs to be done without saying,
"Hey, look at me!"
11. They aren't hypocrites.
Genuine people
practice what they preach. They don't tell you to do one thing and then do the
opposite themselves. That's largely owing to their self-awareness. Many hypocrites
don't even recognize their mistakes. They're blind to their own weaknesses.
Genuine people, on the other hand, fix their own problems first.
12. They don't brag.
We've all
worked with people who can't stop talking about themselves and their accomplishments.
Have you ever wondered why? They boast and brag because they're insecure and
worried that if they don't point out their accomplishments, no one will notice.
Genuine people don't need to brag. They're confident in their accomplishments,
but they also realize that when you truly do something that matters, it stands
on its own merits, regardless of how many people notice or appreciate it.
Bringing It All Together
Genuine people know who they are. They are
confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. They are firmly grounded
in reality, and they're truly present in each moment because they're not trying
to figure out someone else's agenda or worrying about their own.
BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY
http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/12-habits-of-genuine-people.html?cid=em01014week31a
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