The
Best Way to Bounce Back From Any Mistake
“Susie, can I please have the report from last
week? I don’t see it in my inbox.”
My heart sank. My boss was asking me for a
sales report that I had to submit every Friday. It was Monday. I totally
blanked on doing it last week.
I did the only thing I could think of: I
lied. “That’s odd—it should be there. I’ll re-send!” In 15 minutes, I scrambled
together the shoddiest report ever created and hit send as if my life depended
on it. You can imagine the questions my boss had about the errors in the Excel
cells later that day. He knew; I knew. But I was resolute in my lie.
I was young. I thought this approach was
safer than honesty. But I was wrong. I had not only failed to do the work, but
I was also dishonest about it—trying to cover my tracks instead of admitting my
mistake.
No matter what you messed up, acknowledging your error can make you feel
like a naughty kid again—not the confident adult you’ve become.
Trust me, I know there's nothing like the
sting of making a mistake to make you feel inadequate, remorseful, and just
plain pissed at yourself. But we all make mistakes in many different ways.
Maybe you laid into your S.O. over something insignificant, forgot to text a
friend back about plans, or made a glaring typo in an uber-important work memo.
No matter what you messed up, acknowledging your error or poor judgment can
make you feel like a naughty kid again—not the confident adult you’ve become.
Even worse, instead of addressing our mistake
head on, apologizing in an instant, and remedying the situation, many of us do
the opposite. We do nothing. We ignore it. We get defensive. Sometimes we even
blame the other person. We say he or she is “too sensitive,” or we tell
ourselves we’re right and the other person is wrong because we’re too scared to
own our mistakes.
Even the most unintentional error, when
poorly handled, can snowball into a mess of finger pointing, judgment, and
ruined relationships. Instead of sweeping it under the rug, here’s how to
remedy any mistake in (almost) any situation.
Say Sorry—Stat!
Some people think apologizing is a weakness
or that it means that they're not good or clever enough. But it’s actually the
opposite. Say a friend was worried that she offended you with a joke she made.
She could just never bring it up again.
What if she said, “Hey, that joke I made last
night—I hope I didn’t upset you. I was just trying to be funny and definitely
don’t think X or Y.” Would you think that person was weak or strong for addressing
this? I bet the latter. Because it takes courage to do this. Courageous people
apologize.
Your turn to say sorry? Keep in mind that an
awesome apology contains three parts:
1. Say “I’m sorry.” (This is where the actual apology happens: You gotta
admit your mistake.)
2. Admit you were wrong. (Highlight what you regret.)
3. Ask what or suggest something you can do to make it better. (The best
request for forgiveness is a positive intention to do better in the future.)
Here's an example of a bad apology: “Sorry. I
was just kidding. Lighten up! It wasn’t that bad.”
A better apology? “I’m sorry my joke was
insensitive. It was bad form of me to make fun of X. How can I make it up to
you?”
Don't Beat Yourself Up
Once you have made a sincere apology that
checks those three boxes, relax. We all make mistakes. We will
continue to make mistakes as long as we live. But it’s how we handle
them that counts. Being honest, owning up (and not waiting to do so!),
and having a genuine intention not to repeat the mistake is the very best you
can do. Let this bring you peace. Apologize sincerely, then surrender the rest.
Exhale!
Being honest, owning up, and having a genuine intention not to repeat
the mistake is the very best you can do.
I was managing a project recently and asked
my colleague why the database wasn’t up to date (it was his job to do this). I
thought it was a database error—it wasn’t the first time the system was slow.
“Holy sh*t!” Riley responded over instant
messenger. “I’ll do it now. I completely forgot. Can you give me an hour, two
max? I'm so sorry.” Instead of being irritated, I was momentarily flooded with
affection for Riley. I ribbed him a bit, but his honesty built trust between
us. This encounter allowed me to be more vulnerable in making mistakes too.
The Takeaway
When you rectify something you’ve done wrong,
not only are you displaying your strength, but you're also opening up the space
to allow other people to feel safe in making their own mistakes. Making
mistakes is inevitable—that’s for certain. And resolving them in a true and
honest way is the mark of a real leader.
BY SUSIE
MOORE
http://greatist.com/live/career-advice-how-to-recover-from-any-mistake?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_content=story10_title&utm_campaign=daily_newsletter_2016-06-16_mails_daily_new_header
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