8 Bad
Communication Habits You Need to Break Immediately
Want to have better conversations? It's time to break up with these
pesky bad habits.
Conversations are a big part of our everyday lives.
And whether you think of yourself as a world-class communicator or as someone who would rather just send
an email than deal with face-to-face chatter, chances are you have at least a
few bad communication
habits that are driving people crazy.
Take a
look at these eight common faux pas. Do you find yourself guilty of any of
them? Well, it's time for you to pull in the reins and stop -- immediately.
1.
Constantly interrupting.
We all
have one thing in common when talking: We want to be listened to. So if
you're one of those people who tend to jump in and interrupt or -- even
worse -- try to complete people's sentences for them, you need to keep
yourself in check.
You
might think your constant interjections are a way to show your level of
engagement. But they really just make you a conversational bulldozer.
2.
Multitasking.
Conversations
deserve your full attention -- and not just the halfhearted glances you're
willing to give them when you manage to rip your focus away from your iPhone
screen.
Multitasking
is a habit we're likely all guilty of. But you need to be present for your
conversations, no matter how menial or futile they may seem. That means no
scrolling through your email or subconsciously thinking about your grocery
list. Give your conversational partners the attention they deserve.
3.
Using qualifiers.
"Don't
take this personally, but..."; "This might be a bad idea, but..."; or
"I know what you're thinking, but..."
Qualifiers
exist for nearly every situation. But if you have the tendency to overuse
them, you may be driving people up a wall. Why? Well, while these
prefacing statements might seem like a great way to sugarcoat your sentences,
they often just come off as condescending and unnecessary.
4.
Equating your experiences.
Tell
me if this situation sounds familiar: Someone is explaining a difficult problem
he's currently facing. You immediately retort with "I know exactly
how you feel!" and then launch into your own long-winded tale of a
time you experienced something that's not even the least bit similar.
It's
important to remember that human experiences are all different. Your attempts
to show empathy are admirable. But in most cases, you're better off just
listening and lending support.
5.
Floundering.
We've
all had to deal with those people who seem to just ramble on endlessly without
a point -- those people who appear to be talking simply because they like
the sound of their own voices.
Needless
to say, you don't want to garner this reputation for yourself by constantly chiming
in without a clear purpose. When you do decide to speak up, make sure that
you're prepared to be clear and concise. That's the mark of a skilled
communicator.
6.
Avoiding direct contact.
I'm a
big fan of the convenience of email and text messages. However, if you've ever
dealt with someone who took the time to write out a lengthy message for
something he or she could have easily explained to you in person in as few
as two sentences, you know how frustrating that can be.
The
never-ending assortment of communication tools available today has made us
all a little less willing to actually talk to one another.
So before hitting send on a message, ask yourself if this is something
that could be done more efficiently in person or over the phone. You'll
save yourself (and the person on the receiving end!) a lot of headaches.
7.
Waiting instead of listening.
As my
mom always loves to tell me, "There's a big difference between hearing and
listening!" And when you're having a conversation with someone, you
should be actively listening.
That
means you're not just staying silent while thinking of your next point and
waiting for your chance to talk again. Instead, you're engaged in what that
person is explaining. Trust me -- people can tell when you're tuning them out.
8.
Using filler words.
"Hey,
Jason. Umm ... I'm just checking in on that, uhhh ... report to see if you
think you'll, like, have that done by the end of the day."
You
knew this one had to make it onto the list somewhere. This is perhaps one of
the toughest bad habits to break. We're all so used to littering our sentences
with these unnecessary words -- it's like a nervous tic for most of us.
But make your best efforts to cut them out. Your conversations will be
much cleaner and more polished.
Breaking
a bad habit isn't always easy. But channel your energy into removing these
faux pas from your conversations and you're sure to be a better
communicator.
BY KAT
BOOGAARD
http://www.inc.com/kat-boogaard/8-bad-communication-habits-you-need-to-break-immediately.html?cid=em01014week22a
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