10 Mistakes Smart People
Never Make Twice
Smart people embrace mistakes for what they are -- great
opportunities to learn.
Everybody makes mistakes -- that's a
given -- but not everyone learns from them. Some people make the same mistakes
over and over again, fail to make any real progress, and can't figure out why.
"Mistakes are always forgivable, if one
has the courage to admit them."
--Bruce Lee
--Bruce Lee
When we make mistakes, it can be hard to
admit to because doing so feels like an attack on our self-worth. This tendency
poses a huge problem because new research proves something that commonsense has
told us for a very long time -- fully acknowledging and embracing errors
is the only way to avoid repeating them.
Yet, many of us still struggle with this.
Researchers
from the Clinical Psychophysiology Lab at Michigan State University found that
people fall into one of two camps when it comes to mistakes: those who have
a fixed mind-set ("Forget this; I'll never be good at it")
and those who have agrowth mind-set ("What a wake-up call! Let's see what I did
wrong so I won't do it again").
"By paying attention to mistakes, we
invest more time and effort to correct them," says study author Jason
Moser. "The result is that you make the mistake work for you."
Those with a growth mind-set land on their
feet because they acknowledge their mistakes and use them to get better. Those
with a fixed mind-set are bound to repeat their mistakes because they try their
best to ignore them.
Smart, successful people are by no means
immune to making mistakes; they simply have the tools in place to learn from
their errors. In other words, they recognize the roots of their mix-ups quickly
and never make the same mistake twice.
"When you repeat a mistake, it is not a
mistake anymore: it is a decision."
--Paulo Coelho
--Paulo Coelho
Some mistakes are so tempting that we all
make them at one point or another. Here are 10 mistakes almost all of us make,
but smart people make only once.
1. Believing in someone or something
that's too good to be true.
Some people are so charismatic and so
confident that it can be tempting to follow anything they say. They speak
endlessly of how successful their businesses are, how well liked they are, who
they know, and how many opportunities they can offer you. While we
know that some people really are successful and really want to help you,
smart people need to be tricked only once before they start to think twice
about a deal that sounds too good to be true. The results of naiveté and a
lack of due diligence can be catastrophic. Smart people ask serious questions
before getting involved because they realize no one, themselves included, are
as good as they look.
2. Doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting a different result.
Albert Einstein said insanity is doing
the same thing and expecting a different result. Yet there are a lot of people
who seem certain that two plus two will eventually equal five. Smart people, on
the other hand, need experience this frustration only once. The fact is
simple: if you keep the same approach, you'll keep getting the same results, no
matter how much you hope for the opposite. Smart people know that if they want
a different result, they need to change their approach, even when it's painful
to do so.
3. Failing to delay gratification.
We live in a world where books instantly
appear on our e-readers, news travels far and wide, and just about anything can
show up at our doorsteps in as little as a day. Smart people know that true
gratification doesn't come quickly and that real rewards are built on hard
work. They also know how to use this as motivation to get them through every
step of the arduous process that leads to success because they've felt the
pain and disappointment that come with selling themselves short.
4. Operating without a budget.
You can't experience financial freedom until
you operate under the constraint of a budget. Sticking to a budget, personally
and professionally, forces us to make thoughtful choices about what we want and
need. Smart people have to face that insurmountable pile of bills only
once before getting their act together, starting with a thorough reckoning as
to where their money is going. They realize that once you understand how much
you're spending and what you're spending it on, the right choices become clear.
A morning latte is a lot less tempting when you're aware of the cost: $1,000 on
average per year. Having a budget isn't only about making sure that you have
enough to pay the bills; smart people know that making and sticking to a strict
budget means never having to pass up an opportunity because they've blown their
precious capital on discretionary expenditures. Budgets establish discipline,
and discipline is the foundation of quality work.
5. Losing sight of the big picture.
It's so easy to become head-down busy,
working so hard on what's right in front of you that you lose sight of the big
picture. But smart people learn how to keep this in check by weighing their
daily priorities against a carefully calculated goal. It's not that they don't
care about small-scale work, they just have the discipline and perspective to
adjust their course as necessary. Life is all about the big picture, and when
you lose sight of it, everything suffers.
6. Not doing your homework.
Everybody's taken a shortcut at some point,
whether it was copying a friend's biology assignment or strolling into an
important meeting unprepared. Smart people realize that while they may
occasionally get lucky, that approach will hold them back from achieving their
full potential. They don't take chances, and they understand there's no
substitute for hard work and due diligence. If you don't do your homework,
you'll never learn anything -- and that's a surefire way to bring your career
to a screeching halt.
7. Trying to be someone or something you're
not.
It's
tempting to try to be whom you think people want you be, but no one likes
a fake, and trying to be someone you're not never ends well. Smart people
figure that out the first time they get called out for being a phony, forget
their lines, or drop out of character. Other people never seem to realize that
everyone else can see right through their act. They don't recognize the
relationships they've damaged, the jobs they've lost, and the opportunities
they've missed as a result of trying to be someone they're not. Smart people, on the other hand, make that connection
right away and realize that happiness and success demand authenticity.
8. Trying to please everyone.
Almost everyone makes this mistake at some
point, but smart people realize it's simply impossible to please everybody, and
trying to please everyone pleases no one. Smart people know that in order to be
effective, you have to develop the courage to call the shots and make the
choices you feel are right (not the ones everyone will like).
9. Playing the victim.
News reports and our social media feeds are
filled with stories of people who seem to get ahead by playing the victim.
Smart people may try it once, but they realize quickly that it's a form of
manipulation and that any benefits will come to a screeching halt as soon as
people see it's a game. But there's a more subtle aspect of this strategy that only
truly smart people grasp: to play the victim, you have to give up your power,
and you can't put a price on that.
10. Trying to change someone.
The
only way that people change is through the desire and wherewithal to change
themselves. Still, it's tempting to try to change someone who doesn't want to change, as if your
sheer will and desire for them to improve will change them (as it has you).
Some even actively choose people with problems, thinking they can
"fix" them. Smart people may make that mistake once, but
soon they realize they'll never be able to change anyone but themselves.
Instead, they build their lives around genuine, positive people and work to
avoid problematic people that bring them down.
Bringing it all together.
Emotionally
intelligent people are successful because they
never stop learning. They learn from their mistakes, they learn from their successes,
and they're always changing themselves for the better.
BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY
http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/10-mistakes-smart-people-never-make-twice.html?cid=em01014week04a
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