Go, get a life, mom!
From minder and disciplinarian to guru and friend,
and even a student a mother's journey vis-à-vis her children is a fascinating
tale of evolution
From the hapless, comfortingly plump, white-sari
draped, moist eyed `Ma' Amitabh Bachchan and Shashi Kapoor famously fought over
in Deewar, to the svelte, confident, superbly fit `mom' who shares her teenage
daughter's wardrobe and a drink with her son mothers have come a long way
indeed.
The stay-at-home mum gave way some decades ago
to the woman who took up office work if driven by economic pressures. This mom
has now metamorphosed into someone whose desire to adopt a profession is driven
by her own inner compulsions a need to seek fulfillment. She now seeks work
because it defines and completes her, not because she needs the money.
No longer does a woman's world revolve around
just home and family. For one, her children introduce her to whole new worlds
in their own journey of wonder. In seeking the best for her child in a
competitive world that throws up numerous choices, she steps into new
territories.Then again, she realises her own limitations and understands that
armed with information and confidence, she not only nurtures her kids better,
but also gets on in her individual journey satisfactorily.
The sacrificial mother, whose needs came last,
if ever, is a thing of the past.Along with rest of the world, mothers too have
discovered their individuality and seek ways to enhance it. And more than
anyone else, it is the children who encourage mothers to get out there and do
what `floats their boat'. “Go, get a life Mom!“ is a refrain of teenagers
brought up in an era when catering to your own growth and individuality is a
far more powerful mantra than serving others.
A single friend's teenage daughter constantly
encourages her mother to get a companion and make the most of life while she
can. “You owe it to yourself,“ she tells her. “You just have this one life, why
waste it?“ Another friend's son ensures his mom stays updated on the latest
movies and music, often choosing to accompany her rather than his friends to a
movie she may not watch otherwise. I have several women friends who watch TV
shows, especially food programmes with their sons and daughters; incidentally I
don't know a single dad who watches anything but cricket with his sons! From
minder and disciplinarian to guru and friend, and even a student, a mother's
journey vis-à-vis her children is a fascinating tale of evolution. It is a
telling commentary on motherhood that her evolution parallels that of her
children. The teenager of some years ago wouldn't stand comparison to the
teenager today. In an interesting instance of dependent evolution, where
mothers have kept an open mind to the learning process, the mother-child duo
has grown into a strong unit, the most beautiful relationship in the world.
A mother's natural emotional bonding and
maternal instincts have kept her closely linked to the changing needs and
preferences of the New Age Child something fathers have been left out. It's
be cause of their traditional role as the disciplinarians who put mind over
heart, thus creating a distancing. Can you imagine a father patiently learning
something a child wishes to teach him?
It is when the mother is busy with her own parallel journey -discovering, understanding, and finding herself -that she becomes an interesting, trustworthy companion, a tested sounding board and guide for her children. As she learns, she becomes the repository of new information. Then she filters the knowledge and values she is a conduit for in her role as a mother, bringing to the child a rare mix of information and learning, tempered with caution and grounding.
It is when the mother is busy with her own parallel journey -discovering, understanding, and finding herself -that she becomes an interesting, trustworthy companion, a tested sounding board and guide for her children. As she learns, she becomes the repository of new information. Then she filters the knowledge and values she is a conduit for in her role as a mother, bringing to the child a rare mix of information and learning, tempered with caution and grounding.
Let us not forget that a mother is also the
repository of the moral and ethical codes passed down from generation to
generation. Still rooted deeply in her role as the homemaker, she has at her
disposal best of learning of both worlds. And with education and exposure, she
is more at ease with her ever-evolving role. A woman who is a mother, is also
now a proud seeker and learner in her own right.
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vinitadawra nangia
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TL10MAY15
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