We Are Often Confused Empathy With Sympathy but What's The Difference
Actually?
In general, sympathy and empathy are
often confused with one another. There is good reason for this too, primarily
because both words deal with similar emotions and are derived from the Greek
term páthos (which pertains to suffering and feeling). These words are also
commonly ascribed to situations of sadness and mourning, as people try to
identify with a particular group or individual that has been afflicted by
tragedy.
Despite the similarities in terms of
application and origin, however, there are core differences that separate the
two words. Sympathy describes the feelings of compassion and pity that we may
have for another person’s plight, for example, whereas empathy enables us
to put
ourselves in the shoes of those who are
suffering and share directly in their sadness.
Empathy vs Sympathy: Exploring the Differences
In our bid to explore this further, let’s
return to the Greek origins of both words. We have already touched on how they
have been derived from the word ‘Pathos’. However the prefix ‘sym’ in
‘sympathy’ also relates to the Greek iteration ‘syn’ (which means ‘together
with’). Conversely, the prefix ’em’ in ’empathy’ derives from the Greek
description of ‘within’, highlighting the core difference between showing
solidarity with others and vicariously immersing yourself in their plight.
To put this into context, let’s cast our
mind’s back to David Beckham’s sending -off for England in the 1998 World Cup
against Argentina. While there was vehement criticism of his actions and the impact
that they had on the team (England were eliminated after a valiant display),
casual and non-partisan observers had sympathy for Beckham as they believed
that he was being harshly treated.
Fellow professionals who had endured similar
scrutiny during their careers expressed empathy with Beckham, however, as they
were able to place themselves directly in his shoes and understand precisely
how he was being affected. The same principle applies to individuals who have
also suffered heavy criticism or persecution in the workplace, even if their
experience not directly related to Beckham’s.
Those who were close to Beckham also
expressed empathy, as they had endured similar afflictions also suffered after
the event and found themselves vicariously sharing in the English midfielders
plight.
How do these differences manifest themselves in terms of thought and
deed?
To begin with, sympathizers will share their
concern and condolences with others while openly admitting that they have no direct
knowledge of how they actually feel. This
often translates into generic support that is offered unconditionally, without
actionable advice or additional input that may diminish the sufferer’s state of
mind.
In contrast, those with the ability to
emphasize will instantly immerse themselves in the shoes of others, by tapping
into a shared experience or relating to a similar one. This means that you
visualize how the individual in question is feeling, and have the subsequent
ability to treat them in a way that is relevant and appropriate. Similarly, an
empathetic outlook enables you to offer valuable insight and advice, which may
help the individual to develop new coping mechanisms.
Sympathy And Empathy Are Different, But They Are Central to You Becoming
a More Compassionate Person
At this point, it is worth noting that being
both empathetic and sympathetic is mutually exclusive. This means you can
showcase both individually, either simultaneously or as each individual
scenario requires. It is important to remember this, as having both a
sympathetic and an empathetic mind-set enables you to become a compassionate
person who can offer the relevant comfort and support to those in need.
Not only this, but there are also other
scientific and psychological benefits of being compassionate, including the
following:
1. It Uplifts Those Around You
In simple terms, showcasing compassion has
been proven to have an uplifting impact on those around you. According to
Jonathan Haidt at the University of Virginia, witnessing people help others
creates a state of elevation in the human mind, while it also empowers them to
do the same.
2. It Inspires Action
On a similar note, compassion is also proven
as a great motivator of action. Certain studies have explored this at length,
revealing that subjects who had been meditating and focused inwardly were more likely to
act on their sense of compassion, even
if it opposed a social convention. This shows how powerful compassion can be,
and highlights its ability to drive specific actions.
3. It is Infectious
We have already touched on how compassion can
create a state of elevation and inspire others, and there is no doubt that is
has a dominant effect on the mind of others (particularly those who have
benefited from acts of compassion). James Fowler of UC San Diego claims that
this is the representation of how kindness reaches out to others and sparks a
chain reaction, and not only because people feel compelled to comply with the
actions of others.
4. It Makes Us Less Likely to Avoid Those in Pain
Let’s face facts; the sight of others being
in pain can be distressing, and it is natural to seek flight during such times.
It has been proven that a fortified sense of compassion changes this
conditioned response over time, as avoiding negative emotions is replaced
directly with positive
compassionate actions.
5. It Makes Us More Attractive to Others
From a purely insular perspective, it is also
interesting to note that being compassionate makes us more attractive to
others. Studies on dating preferences have shown that both men and women
rank kindness as one of the most important qualities that they look for in a
partner, as this ties in to our fundamental desire to be loved and taken care
of at all times.
How Can You Become More Compassionate as an Individual
There are numerous benefits of being
compassionate, far more than we have listed here. In order to capitalise on
these you will need to become a more rounded and compassionate individual,
however, and the good news is that compassion can be learned and honed
through training
techniques such as meditation.
But what are the core elements of this, and
what practical steps can you take to become a more compassionate individual?
Let’s take a look:
1. Listen because who doesn’t want to be heard?
At the heart of every compassionate person is
an innate ability to listen, but this is one of the hardest life-skills to
develop. It requires us to suspend all judgement and offer our undivided
attention to speakers, as we digest their words and the context in which they
are spoken. This is central to acts of both sympathy and empathy,
as listening enables us to respond in the most relevant and impactful manner.
2. Respond to the Emotion because this shows your care.
As we have already said, it is important to
consider the context that words are spoken in when listening to others, and
more specifically the emotion that underpins them. By delving
beyond literal interpretations and
accepting that words alone can conceal emotions such as guilt, fear and
anxiety, we can understand others in greater depth and build compassionate
relationships going forward.
3. Prioritize the Person so they feel important
When we talk about compassion, empathy and
sympathy, we are almost always referring to someone who is spiraling into a
negative path. The key to be compassionate is to recognize the positive
attributes that define the person in question, and never lose sight of their
human qualities. This ensures that you judge each specific situation rather
than the person involved, while it also offers you an opportunity to reinforce
these characteristics and build positivity.
4. Be Patient because there might be a lot going on.
When attempting to reach someone who is
gripped by negative emotions, it can be difficult to build trust and rapport.
While the tips listed above will help you to become more compassionate and a
superior listener, you will also need to display tremendous patience as people
begin to realize that they can open up to you. This will certainly require a
selfless outlook, and one that always places the needs of the sufferer ahead of
your own.
5. Respond With Feeling to show you feel their sorrow, pain and worry.
No matter how much listening you have to do
as a compassionate individual, there will always come a time to respond. This
is where your understanding of the other person and their plight is imperative,
as this should condition your response and promote an honest, meaningful
reaction. The key here is that you
respond with feeling , as this showcases the fact that you
care and remain immersed in the other person’s trials.
The Last Word
While we have observed numerous differences
between sympathy and empathy, they share a common origin while both lay
the foundations for becoming a caring and compassionate person. The benefits of
this are numerous, both for you and the mental well-being of those around you.
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