PERSONAL SPECIAL...... VIRTUAL SUPPORT SHARING DARD

VIRTUAL SUPPORT SHARING DARD

With urban life eating into time with friends, a website by IIM grads offers a space to vent and ‘be understood’ ….the site offers registered users an opportunity to write about their distress — or ‘dard’ as the site terms it — under seven categories, including careers, relationships, social taboo and even loneliness.

    I have a lot of trouble with motivation. Sometimes I just don’t want to get up.” Sounds familiar? This confession was posted by an anonymous user on September 22 at a new website launched to offer peerto-peer support for emotional distress. Called SharingDard.com, the site has garnered over 27,000 registrations since it was launched in May, say its founders.
    Started by Indian Institute of Management (Lucknow) graduates Sumant Gajbhiye (26), Ritika Sharma (25) and Lima James (24), the site offers registered users an opportunity to write about their distress — or ‘dard’ as the site terms it — under seven categories, including careers, relationships, social taboo and even loneliness. New Delhibased Gaurav Rajan Ghoota (30), another IIM-Lucknow graduate, is also part of this social venture.
FRIENDS IN NEED
In a context where counselling is still viewed with healthy suspicion, and visits to therapists are usually hidden from public knowledge, an online platform such as this offers people a much-needed outlet to discuss, or vent. What’s more, there is a shortage of mental health professionals and facilities in the country. It gains added importance in a world where friendships just aren’t what they used to be. A 2010 study conducted among 2,000 respondents in the United States found that while people are not becoming less social, the number of their close confidantes has decreased significantly. “Discussion partners provide both emotional support and ideas for how to solve problems, so a shrinking discussion network may lead to more stress,” Matthew Brashears, assistant professor of sociology at Cornell University and lead author of the study, was quoted as saying in LiveScience.com.
    Sharma, one of the co-founders, came on board when she experienced a similar sense of loneliness on arriving in Mumbai from Chandigarh in 2011 for work. Her friends — the other co-founders — were Mumbai residents, but work timings made it difficult for them to keep in touch and share their troubles as they would in college. That’s when they hit upon the idea of creating this site.
    If done right, an online peer-to-peer support group could offer a similar element of support that a physical group does, points out counsellor and psychologist Dr Kanan Khatau Chikal. She says that the mainstay of a support group is to let a person know that he or she is understood which in turn, leads to a feeling of being accepted. “While nothing is foolproof — I use several modules while working with my clients — technology can be very helpful. The first thing a person feels after sharing his or her story is ‘I am understood’. An online support group also helps, as people lend suggestions based on their own experiences, as well,” says Chikal.
    All four co-founders also post on the site under aliases. The site allows them a sense of getting things off their chest. “I feel more compassionate now,” says Sharma. “You just need someone to tell you, ‘It’s okay, you’re human’. In fact, that’s what a priest does during confession, too,” adds James. The team conducted a survey before launching the service to gauge user response — of the 1,156 respondents, 94.8 per cent said they would want to help if they see a post about something that they have faced as well.
HANDLING NEGATIVE COMMENTS
“There is no privacy in cyberspace, so a user needs to be careful about what they wish to expose of their lives. They need to post their concerns with care — anonymity helps in such a situation,” says psychiatric counsellor Dr Rukhsana Ayaz. “It helps to be precise in what one posts. Make sure you stick to the issue that matters, and keep an open mind if the response is contrary to what you expect. Remember, lay people can offer only advice and opinions. The final decision is yours. Only expert medical advice can help you narrow down your problem and identify your mental health condition, if you have one,” Ayaz adds.
    A user, who goes by the name Ridhima, wrote a post two weeks ago, coming out as a bi-sexual woman. While one comment asked her to “get a grip” and suggested dismissively that she was leading “two lives”, another more wellinformed one expressed empathy for her situation and offered options of where she could seek guidance on “how to deal with family and society”.
    The site, says Gajbhiye, is equipped to deal with negative comments. For one, it requires people to register on the site. Further, a ‘Report Abuse’ feature allows users to flag malicious content. The four are also administrators of the site — “We remove any undesirable content within eight hours,” he says.
    The IIM graduates have started another venture called Your Candid Friend, which aims to offer telephone counselling services for adolescents. This service, launched in July, has a host of psychologists and counsellors on board, who are being trained by Chikal. Simultaneously, Sharing Dard will be upgraded. One of the main additions will be a mechanism to trawl the data to look for keywords, like ‘drugs’ or ‘suicide’. They also intend to integrate this site so that the counsellors at work on YCF can respond promptly when these words pop up.

Dhamini.Ratnam MM130926