Demise of Guys
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Growing up, my brother and I would
dawdle over the various chores that mum used to assign to us. But she would
insist that we complete them, however long we took. “I don’t want my
daughters-in-law blaming me for spoiling you two,” she’d say.
“Real ingenious mom,” went the voice-over in my head, “what a great way to get us to do your housework.” Today, I realise she was preparing us for a new world in which women would be just as ambitious and outgoing as men. In fact, far from being stuck with household chores, women are now better equipped for life than most men, apparently. According to psychologist Philip Zimbardo, a great number of men aren’t prepared for a world where the power equation between men and women is heading towards equality. In a video titled, The Demise of Guys, Zimbardo argues that men simply can’t keep up with women in academics, in social interactions and in bed. And lacking the skills needed to build lasting relationships, men prefer hanging out with other men, and depend on videogames and porn for arousal, declares Zimbardo. Men as gatherers Why have things come to this? For one, women no longer take male chauvinism lying down, and for good measure, throw it in their faces. Second, in the past, men were entitled to things such as jobs, education, and money — entitlements that have been fading away for the last few decades. As a result, men are facing a situation they have not been trained to deal with. As American author Warren Farrell puts it, “Prior to the women’s movement, girls learned to row the family boat only from the right side (raise children); boys, only from the left (raise money). The women’s movement helped girls become women who could row from both sides; but without a parallel force for boys, boys became men who had still learned to row only from the left — to only raise money.” One area this becomes glaringly apparent is in social and romantic settings, where men can appear gauche and inept, without having learned the nuances to form deeper intimate relationships. Excerpted from an article by R Krishna in DNA September 9 ,2012 |
For more
read The Demise of Guys: Why
Boys Are Struggling And What We Can Do About It, Zimbardo and co-author Nikita Duncan outline why
he thinks men are failing in education and personal relationships
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