THE
DISCONNECT SYNDROME
In
this age of 24 x7 connectivity, why are people feeling more alienated than
ever?
The
paradox of the digital times we live in is unravelled
HOW could a
brilliant neuroscience student with no past criminal record end up shooting
hapless moviegoers to death? The image of James Holmes (who killed 12 people
and injured 58 at the midnight premiere of The Dark Knight Rises, in Denver) at
his first court appearance stunned the world — the audacious flaming orange
hair, the impassive look with a hint of mockery in it — had us wondering how an
introverted loner could plan, plot, and play out such an act of immense
brutality. Is Holmes a murderous oddball, or is this dangerous disconnect from
reality a far more telling truth in today’s society?
In the digital times that we live in, friends are available as ‘requests’ and friendships often ‘confirmed’ only to add to the swelling friends’ numbers on social media sites. “The scourge of alienation, isolation and disconnectedness in society today is far bigger than that of HIV. Friendships are often forced and seldom forged on social networking sites. Louder the drum beating on FB, higher the helplessness of the individual,” says psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty.
When a student kills a teacher over a perceived slight or a neuroscience student guns down hapless innocents, the big question that goes abegging is: Forget the ping, the poke, and the post, whatever happened to faceto-face communication?
Not-so-social media
“Over-dependence on technology is definitely cutting into our social interactions. The web is a dangerous place when not navigated wisely. It is easy for those with dissociative identity disorders to get brainwashed or be led astray,” cautions traumatologist and counsellor Seema Hingorrany.
“Gadgets and social media are all about technology,” says veteran actor Anupam Kher. “There’s no warmth or empathy to be found here.” Devoid of real life’s awkward pauses and often embarrassing faceto-face interactions, the virtual world creates a bubble of unreal perfection.
Later, when posed with life’s real challenges, like pain, loss, heartbreak, insecurity, and anger, our minds are ill-equipped to deal with it. As our real emotional buffers shrink, our belief that our friends on social media will help us through these crises may be often misplaced. Guidance, unfortunately, can seldom be had at the click of a button.
In his seminal book, Loneliness, John Cacioppo, the director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago, demonstrated medically how loneliness affects the basic function of human physiology. He found higher levels of epinephrine (the stress hormone) in the morning urine of lonely people. “When we drew blood from older adults and analysed their white cells, we found that loneliness somehow penetrated the deepest recesses of the cell to alter the way genes were being expressed.”
When loneliness persists for a long time, the isolation of the individual is so complete that he fails to connect to people around him. The human connection has little or no significance.
The human touch
When the chips are down, the impersonal digital world hardly provides any solace.
“It’s important to have Emotional Contact Time, or ECT. One needs intellectual sharing of one’s vulnerabilities. Sharing is about touch, tears, and feelings. In today’s world, there is a lot of pent up emotional energy that does not find a release. Over time, this manifests itself in acts of violence against oneself or others,” says Dr Shetty, citing the case study of a 15-year-old chronic video-game addict, who got back to the straight and narrow, only after his corporate high-flier father made a concerted effort to emotionally invest in his son’s life. “The father had tried to assuage his guilt of being away from home by plying the son with expensive gadgets and gifts. However, the son became addicted to video games and was almost a social recluse when he was brought to me,” remembers Shetty.
The dysfunctional family
The disintegration of the joint family system, the high rates of divorce and frequent marital strife in nuclear families do their bit in making children feel alienated. “Many kids are unforgiving about extra-marital affairs and if they get a sense of that in either parents’ life, they react in ways ranging from violence to retreating into a shell,” says Hingorrany.
Prominent clinical and research psychologist Dr Richard Warshak has done groundbreaking work on parental alienation in the US. According to him, the true anatomy of a mass shooting is far more complex but “the one thread that seems to run through many of these violent episodes — where a desperate person acts in a desperate manner — is that the person has felt alienated from those around him”.
Rise of the anti-hero
In his disturbed head, Holmes was the joker from The Dark Knight, just like many killers before him, who had taken a leaf out of a role outlined by a dark character in fiction.
In an alienated world, the line between reality and fiction gets blurred. Video games, violent images on the screen and the internet make youngsters mix up the virtual world with the real one. Says Hingorrany, “For people who are delusional, lonely and suicidal, anything from films to books to music lyrics can be a trigger.”
Kher differs. He says, “Films merely parody trends that already exist in society. It isn’t a discourse on how to live your life. Only life can teach.” But in our 24x7 connected world, interactions rarely involve the human touch or real friends. That one best friend we could confide in has been replaced by a virtual one. A troubled mind, which has closed its doors to anything positive, identifies more with the anti-hero, loathed by society.
In her book, We Need To Talk About Kevin based on a fictionalised account of a high school shooting in the US, author Lionel Shriver wrote: “In a society that doesn’t discriminate between fame and infamy, the latter presents itself as plainly more achievable.”
SIGNS EVERY PARENT SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR:
Pathologically introverted
In the digital times that we live in, friends are available as ‘requests’ and friendships often ‘confirmed’ only to add to the swelling friends’ numbers on social media sites. “The scourge of alienation, isolation and disconnectedness in society today is far bigger than that of HIV. Friendships are often forced and seldom forged on social networking sites. Louder the drum beating on FB, higher the helplessness of the individual,” says psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty.
When a student kills a teacher over a perceived slight or a neuroscience student guns down hapless innocents, the big question that goes abegging is: Forget the ping, the poke, and the post, whatever happened to faceto-face communication?
Not-so-social media
“Over-dependence on technology is definitely cutting into our social interactions. The web is a dangerous place when not navigated wisely. It is easy for those with dissociative identity disorders to get brainwashed or be led astray,” cautions traumatologist and counsellor Seema Hingorrany.
“Gadgets and social media are all about technology,” says veteran actor Anupam Kher. “There’s no warmth or empathy to be found here.” Devoid of real life’s awkward pauses and often embarrassing faceto-face interactions, the virtual world creates a bubble of unreal perfection.
Later, when posed with life’s real challenges, like pain, loss, heartbreak, insecurity, and anger, our minds are ill-equipped to deal with it. As our real emotional buffers shrink, our belief that our friends on social media will help us through these crises may be often misplaced. Guidance, unfortunately, can seldom be had at the click of a button.
In his seminal book, Loneliness, John Cacioppo, the director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago, demonstrated medically how loneliness affects the basic function of human physiology. He found higher levels of epinephrine (the stress hormone) in the morning urine of lonely people. “When we drew blood from older adults and analysed their white cells, we found that loneliness somehow penetrated the deepest recesses of the cell to alter the way genes were being expressed.”
When loneliness persists for a long time, the isolation of the individual is so complete that he fails to connect to people around him. The human connection has little or no significance.
The human touch
When the chips are down, the impersonal digital world hardly provides any solace.
“It’s important to have Emotional Contact Time, or ECT. One needs intellectual sharing of one’s vulnerabilities. Sharing is about touch, tears, and feelings. In today’s world, there is a lot of pent up emotional energy that does not find a release. Over time, this manifests itself in acts of violence against oneself or others,” says Dr Shetty, citing the case study of a 15-year-old chronic video-game addict, who got back to the straight and narrow, only after his corporate high-flier father made a concerted effort to emotionally invest in his son’s life. “The father had tried to assuage his guilt of being away from home by plying the son with expensive gadgets and gifts. However, the son became addicted to video games and was almost a social recluse when he was brought to me,” remembers Shetty.
The dysfunctional family
The disintegration of the joint family system, the high rates of divorce and frequent marital strife in nuclear families do their bit in making children feel alienated. “Many kids are unforgiving about extra-marital affairs and if they get a sense of that in either parents’ life, they react in ways ranging from violence to retreating into a shell,” says Hingorrany.
Prominent clinical and research psychologist Dr Richard Warshak has done groundbreaking work on parental alienation in the US. According to him, the true anatomy of a mass shooting is far more complex but “the one thread that seems to run through many of these violent episodes — where a desperate person acts in a desperate manner — is that the person has felt alienated from those around him”.
Rise of the anti-hero
In his disturbed head, Holmes was the joker from The Dark Knight, just like many killers before him, who had taken a leaf out of a role outlined by a dark character in fiction.
In an alienated world, the line between reality and fiction gets blurred. Video games, violent images on the screen and the internet make youngsters mix up the virtual world with the real one. Says Hingorrany, “For people who are delusional, lonely and suicidal, anything from films to books to music lyrics can be a trigger.”
Kher differs. He says, “Films merely parody trends that already exist in society. It isn’t a discourse on how to live your life. Only life can teach.” But in our 24x7 connected world, interactions rarely involve the human touch or real friends. That one best friend we could confide in has been replaced by a virtual one. A troubled mind, which has closed its doors to anything positive, identifies more with the anti-hero, loathed by society.
In her book, We Need To Talk About Kevin based on a fictionalised account of a high school shooting in the US, author Lionel Shriver wrote: “In a society that doesn’t discriminate between fame and infamy, the latter presents itself as plainly more achievable.”
SIGNS EVERY PARENT SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR:
Pathologically introverted
Complete disregard of personal
hygiene
Filthy personal spaces, and
reluctance to have them cleaned
Dark foreboding sketches
Poetry themed on death and killings
Incident or history of molestation
and sexual abuse (most important)
Inordinately long hours spent online
Causing themselves physical harm,
and enjoying the pain
Purba
Dutt TL120819
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