PERSONAL SPECIAL... Here is why you always want something you can’t have

Here is why you always want something you can’t have

Turns out, hormones are to be blamed for people chasing things that can’t be achieved

Does it feel like you’re always chasing something you can’t have? The more someone pulls away, the more you end up wanting them. This is partly due to our vanity and self-esteem, and partly due to our warped sense of their value.

In reality, their perceived value is all in your head, and you’re better off pursuing people who actually respect you enough to be honest.

Erika Ettin, the founder of a dating website, has a theory for why we behave this way. “The less someone responds or reciprocates to one’s advances, the more perceived value the pursuer thinks this person has,” she said.

If someone is busy, our minds can go into overdrive thinking they must be spending time with other people. They’re obviously popular, so something primal in our brain can make us think they are more valuable than they really are.

In fact, Ettin said that often this means we start to place more value on the other person than we do on ourselves.

When you like someone, the brain releases the hormone dopamine. You can get hooked on this happy hormone, and start chasing the high, like a drug. This makes one susceptible to ‘breadcrumbing’ — when someone texts or calls on a sporadic basis, normally because they know you will respond.

It can be incredibly tempting to fall for the thrill of the chase. But if you can pull yourself away, you’re likely to save yourself a lot of heartache in the end.

businessinsider.in