How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life PART I
Many
world champion athletes, business people, and spiritual teachers all cite
self-reflection as an essential key to success. This is also true for ‘everyday
people’ who are fulfilled and happy with their lives.
So why is self-reflection so important? I’m
going to tell you why self-reflection matters to you and how you can do it to
lead a more successful and fulfilling life.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. What is
self-reflection
2. What happens
when you don’t reflect
3. The importance
of self-reflection
4. How to do
self-reflection (a step-by-step guide)
The process of
self-reflection
What to reflect
on
Questions to ask
yourself in self-reflection
When to
self-reflect
Bonus
self-reflection tips
5. Make self-reflection
part of your life
1.What
is self-reflection
Self-Refection is defined as “meditation or
serious thought about one’s character, actions, and motives.” It’s
about taking a step back and reflecting on your life, behavior and beliefs.
A few years ago, I had the pleasure of
hearing triathlete Craig (Crowie) Alexander speak at a conference in Sydney,
Australia. Craig is a five-time Ironman World Champion and all around inspiring
human being. One of the things he emphasized was the amount of time he took for
self-reflection and the impact that had on his confidence and performance.
After each race, he and his team would
reflect to understand what went well and what could be improved for next time.
They picked apart every tiny detail, from the shape of his helmet, to when he
took a salt tablet, to his emotional state throughout the race.
In practice he did the same. The time he took
to stop and reflect on all the details of his performances shaved seconds off
his racing time, which was often the difference between winning – or not.
Now you might be thinking, of course he did!
That’s his job. But, what if after every race he just kept moving? What if he
never stopped to think about what he could do differently? Seems crazy, right?
Yet that’s what many of us do with the very
thing that’s most important – our lives.
2.What
happens when you don’t reflect
We keep moving. We push through. We don’t stop to
reflect. We stay in jobs that are (literally) killing us. Relationships that
zap our energy. Circumstances that leave us stressed, unhappy, frustrated and
tired.
We keep running on the treadmill of life
thinking we don’t have time to waste. So we keep moving in order to keep up.
But too often, we just crash and burn. That’s because the only way to keep up
with the pace of life is to STOP. To hop off the treadmill. To reflect on
what’s working and what’s not. To identify what to keep and what needs to
change.
You may have heard the saying:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over
again but expecting different results.”
Yet that is what so many of us do – continue
on through life doing the same things and wondering why we aren’t getting a
different outcome.
When a project or something doesn’t go well
at work, what do you do? You take a moment to step back and see what went wrong
and what you could do differently next time. The same should be true with life,
yet we don’t often take time to reflect. Why not?
I’ve heard many reasons over the years. Maybe
you feel you don’t have time and there is just too much else on your plate. Or
maybe you don’t have the energy. You’re tired and feel like it’s just one more
thing to do. Perhaps you don’t realize the significant and how it can
positively transform your life. Or maybe you just feel like it’s too hard. Many
of my clients feel they don’t know where to start or what to consider.
This is often why people hire a coach or
consultant. To provide time and space they aren’t giving themselves. To ask the
right questions and give space for the answers.
The good news is, you don’t need to hire
anyone to reap the enormous benefits of self-reflection. All it requires is
awareness, commitment and dedicating time.
3.The
importance of self-reflection
Many people find doing self-reflection difficult or
troublesome. They don’t understand why they need it, and they don’t see the
benefits doing self-reflection. Why is self-reflection important for you? Here
I will reveal the benefits of self-reflection:
Improves self-awareness
It’s essential to understand yourself at a
deeper level. Self-awareness and a little soul searching is critical to success
in all areas of life.
Taking time for self-reflection leads to
greater self-awareness which in turn leads to self-improvement. In addition,
having a strong sense of self improves your confidence and level of
self-esteem.
Provides perspective
Self-reflection allows you to understand and
see things from a different point of view. When you take a step back from a
situation, you gain a new understanding. You can see the whole picture, not
just the piece of the puzzle.
Ever hear the saying, “Can’t see the forest
for the trees”? This is an expression that highlights someone who is so
involved in the details of a situation that they can’t see the whole picture.
This is the benefit of self-reflection. You
can zoom out and see the whole forest.
Allows you to respond, not react
Ever say or do something in the moment that
you wish you could take back? When you react, you’re not thinking about the
potential ramifications of your actions. However, when you take time to reflect
on a situation, you can respond more thoughtfully and change your behavior for
next time.
Early in my career, a boss made a
recommendation about this very thing. He advised me to wait 24 hours before
addressing something I was upset about. This forced time of self-reflection
allowed me to take stock of my feelings and emotions. I was then better able to
approach the situation or issue with a level head and greater perspective.
Facilitates a deeper level of learning
Many studies share the common conclusion that
self-reflection facilitates a deeper level of learning and understanding. It’s
a critical part of the education process. I’ve found this to be true in my own
work as a facilitator and trainer.
When people are given time to reflect, digest
and integrate, they are better able to make abstract connections, as well as
retain and recall information. In fact, whenever I’m facilitating a group
training and I introduce a new concept, I provide time for self-reflection. Even
5 minutes to integrate and think about what you’ve learned can make a critical
difference.
Think about this for yourself. If, after you
read this article, you move right on to the next thing, how much do you think
you will remember?
However, if you read this article and take
five minutes afterward to think about your learnings, how much more will you
retain?
Improves confidence
When you reflect, you gain a better
understanding of what’s working and what’s not. This in turn, allows you to
make better decisions and change your actions.
Challenges your assumptions
What you believe to be true is not always the
truth. One of the best ways to tackle a limiting belief is to step back and
debate the validity of that belief.
Self-reflection allows you to challenge
beliefs and assumptions that are getting in your way.
CONTINUES
Tracy Kennedy
https://www.lifehack.org/696285/how-self-reflection-gives-you-a-happier-and-more-successful-life?ck_subscriber_id=168781672
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