How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life PART II
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. What is self-reflection
2. What happens when you don’t reflect
3. The importance of self-reflection
ABOVE COVERED IN PART I
4. How to do self-reflection
(a step-by-step guide)
The process of
self-reflection
What to reflect on
Questions to ask yourself
in self-reflection
When to self-reflect
Bonus self-reflection tips
5. Make
self-reflection part of your life
4.How
to do self-reflection (a step-by-step guide)
Ok, so you understand the benefits and you’re ready to do
get started? Here’s how:
The process of self-reflection
This is a simple guide to the process of
self-reflection:
- STOP: Take a
step back from life or a particular situation.
- LOOK: Identify
and get perspective on what you notice and see.
- LISTEN: Listen to
your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time
and space to emerge.
- ACT: Identify
the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.
What to reflect on
There are two important components for
self-reflection.
i. The first is to reflect on YOU.
This includes who you are and what you want
for your life. This is the self-awareness piece we talked about earlier.
Many ancient philosophers from Aristotle to
Socrates and Pythagoras touted the benefits of “knowing thyself”.
Here are some questions to ‘ponder’ when you
reflect on YOU:
- What are my core values? What are
the beliefs, guiding principles or ideas that are deeply important to me?
What are my priorities?
- What are my unique gifts, skills,
strengths or talents?
- What are the weaknesses or blind
spots I need to watch out for?
- Who do I want to be?
- What energy do I want to bring to
everything I do?
- What is the impact or difference I
want to make? How do I want to serve, contribute or add value?
- What are my passions? What do I
love? What gets me engaged, motivated and excited?
- Are there any beliefs that I have
that are limiting me?
- What do I want for my life? (after
all, if you don’t know what you want, how do you expect to get there?)
- When am I at my best?
ii. The second is to reflect on the areas of your life
that are important to you.
This might include your relationships, home
and family, career, health and well-being, finances, goals, spirituality and
person growth, and fun and recreation.
A great tool that many coaches and those in
the personal development space have used for years is called the “The Wheel of
Life”. While the original wheel of life dates back to Buddhism, the modern
wheel of life was created by Paul Meyer, a pioneer in the life coaching and
self-improvement industry.
The purpose of the wheel is to look at areas
of your life which are important to you. In each area, you rate yourself on a
scale of 1-10. This gives you an idea of where you are in – or out of balance –
and what areas you need to pay more attention to. It gives you perspective on
the whole of your life.
If you google ‘wheel of life’ you’ll get
hundreds of different options to choose from. But here I recommend you the
following examples. I prefer to use ones that have YOU or a space for YOU in
the middle. I’ve also included a blank template where you can fill in the areas
of your life which are most important to you right now.
Questions to ask yourself in self-reflection
Here are some questions to ask yourself in
the self-reflection process:
- How do I feel overall about this
area of my life? On a scale of 1-10, how would I rate my levels of
satisfaction and success?
- What’s working? What’s not
working?
- What do I want more of – or less
of?
- What are my
accomplishments/wins/successes? (People often default to what’s wrong or
hasn’t worked – it’s just as important to focus on what’s going right!)
- What do I want? What are my hopes
or goals?
- What am I grateful for?
- How would I improve this area of
my life? What actions can I take?
When to self-reflect
The more you can make self-reflection a habit
and part of your routine, the greater the impact will be. Below are some ideas
to get you started. Identify which ones will work for you. Then grab your
calendar or phone and schedule a reminder to make it happen!
- New years – There’s
a reason New Years resolutions became a tradition. It’s a great time to
reflect on the year that has passed and identify what you want (your
intentions, goals, desires) in the year ahead.
- Milestones – I
have a friend that uses her birthday every year as a time for self-reflection.
You can also choose an anniversary, the Spring equinox, a religious
holiday or any date that has significance or importance to you.
- Monthly or weekly – Maybe
you’d like to schedule time at the beginning of the month, or choose a day
of the week, like Sunday to reflect on the week before.
- Daily – A
daily practice of self-reflection is probably one of the best ways to
create a habit. I have many clients that like to get up early and reflect
on the day before and the day ahead. Some prefer to journal in the evening
before bed.
- After an ‘event’ – Just
had a terrible work meeting? A bad interaction with your kids or spouse?
Take a minute to step back and reflect on what happened. Doing this now
will help you understand what happened and prevent future incidents
similar to this one.
- When you’re off track – Whenever
you feel like you’re off track, unhappy, stressed or demotivated, it’s
time to take a step back, reflect and regroup.
Bonus self-reflection tips
Here are some extra tips for you to do
self-reflection:
- Grab a Journal
– If
you don’t have one, head to the store and find one you love. Writing has been proven to
facilitate new levels of understanding and significantly reduce levels of
stress. Moreover, when you see something, you are able to process it in a
different way. And once it’s tangible, you then have a greater ability to
tackle it, or let it go.
- Schedule Time
– Schedule
uninterrupted time where you have space, feel quiet and can focus., whether
that be 5 minutes a day or half a day once a quarter. If you think it’s just
going to happen, it’s not. You have to do something to make it happen.
- Accountability
– Join
a group, get a coach, find a buddy, tell your spouse – find someone to do this
with. I was talking with a client of mine last week and she said the most
valuable part of hiring me was the fact that she had someone she had to
report back to weekly. It forced her to do the work that she wouldn’t have done
otherwise on her own.
- Be a fly on the wall
– When
you’re reflecting on something, especially relationships, it’s helpful to take
the stance of a neutral observer. When you step back from a situation and view
things as if you were a fly on the wall, it’s incredibly insightful. Try this
with something in your life you’re having a hard time resolving. Take a step
back and view the situation as if you were a fly on the wall, or as if you were
watching the entire scene on a movie screen. Notice what you see, hear and feel
about what you ‘observe’. It will give you a perspective that you hadn’t seen
before!
- Meditate
–
There are hundreds of studies that show the benefits of meditation. Something
powerful happens when you don’t ‘think’ about something. Things bubble up. You
have incredible, innate wisdom inside of you and meditation allows it to break
through. Again, it’s just a matter of giving time and space to tap into it.
5.Make
self-reflection part of your life
If self-reflection isn’t a regular part of your life
right now, this is your wake-up call. It’s time for you to take a step back.
Time to hop off the treadmill of life. Time to reflect.
Whichever step you take next is perfect.
There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do this. It’s only what works for you.
If I’ve learned anything from working with
thousands of clients over the years, different things work for different
people. There’s no one size fits all approach to self-reflection, just like
there’s no one size fits all approach to life
Tracy Kennedy
https://www.lifehack.org/696285/how-self-reflection-gives-you-a-happier-and-more-successful-life?ck_subscriber_id=168781672
No comments:
Post a Comment