How Not to Give up at the Most Difficult Time
Think back to the
last time you looked for a job. Chances are, you were on the hunt because the
job you were currently in wasn’t fulfilling. You made the choice to start
putting in applications, even though you knew you would face some rejection.
With every “thank you for your application, but we’ve hired someone who better
matches the skills required” letter you receive, it gets harder and harder to
submit applications without self-deprecating. You may even contemplate staying
miserable in the job you have because “at least it’s a job” rather than
continuing to look for something better and more worthy of your time.
Whenever we face a difficult challenge or choice on the way to
achieving something we want, it feels easier to give up than to carry on. This
happens because we feel like we can’t do anything to make things easier. But
once we get through it, we look back and realize it wasn’t as bad as we
thought. In fact, we usually stress ourselves out far more than is necessary.
It’s only a
moment of frustration, don’t give up.
When we feel
like we are losing any and all motivation we had to begin with, it can be
nearly impossible to get it back.
In keeping with the example of looking for a new job while stuck
in a difficult one, it’s sad to think so many of us would allow our emotions to
drown out our optimism. We were not born to go to work, pay bills and die. If
you spend a majority of your time at work instead of at home, why in the world
would you settle for a career that makes you miserable? Yes, there are risks
and hardships included any time you try to achieve a goal, each stressor is
worth it in the end. But it can be so challenging to remember that when you’re
going through it.
When we face a really difficult challenge – like constant
rejection from companies – we can develop tunnel vision and lose sight of the optimism
all around us. All we see is the failure and heartache of not succeeding. We
completely disregard the notion that this will one day be a memory and we could
be recalling the memory from a corner office!
So how are we supposed to take those blinders off and push
through, even when we feel anything but motivated? Let’s explore it in the next
section.
If we give up,
the same problem will come back again.
The thing we tend to forget when all we want to do is give up is
that failure doesn’t fix anything. If you allow the rejection to stop you from
finding a job you’re happy with, all you’ve done is indefinitely prolonged your
suffering. Maybe for a moment you’ll feel relief because you no longer have to
send out applications, but that satisfaction will be fleeting. That misery you
were experiencing will be back, one way or another.
See, the real challenge you’re experiencing in that moment is
your own weakness manifesting in a physical form. When you accept that you
aren’t worthy or good enough, that’s the mind set you will keep. No matter what
challenge your facing (be it work or play) you will struggle with maintaining
your optimism, dedication and will power because you haven’t addressed the real
issue: yourself.
Imagine the Great Challenge as a big rock in front of you. If
you choose to give up, you work around the stone just to go around it. Yet the
fastest way to get over it is to break this big rock and go right through it.
It’s the same with your weaknesses. You could continue to adjust
your life to fit your fears (i.e. no longer job-hunting because you’ve accepted
you will always fail), or you could keep sending out
applications and calling to follow up and schedule interviews.
No matter how
great the challenge is, breaking it down is a must.
In order to
truly stay motivated, no matter how great the challenge is, you’ve got to learn
to break the Great Challenge down.
Remember that big rock? How can you break it down into smaller
pieces and deal with the small stones piece by piece in order to truly
overcome? The tips below can help you take those first steps in keeping your
chin up and truly facing the difficult choices in your life.
Yes, right now it may seem impossible. It may seem like this is
the hardest thing you will ever go through. But remember how often your
threshold changes. I remember when I used to think the hardest thing I would
ever face was not getting tickets to see The Spice Girls. I remember later in
life thinking I would never love anyone like I loved my first boyfriend. It’s laughable
how much things change. One day you’ll look back and realize this wasn’t as bad
as you thought.
Figure out what
you lack.
No matter what the challenge you’re facing may be, there’s a
reason it’s challenging to you. If it’s a job, why is it you aren’t getting
hired? Go back through the job listings and skills required and find the common
thread your resume doesn’t have. Is it not listed because you don’t have it? If
so, work on doing something to give you that skill. Be it an online course or a
volunteer project, do something to help push you closer to the “perfect
candidate.”
Be patient with
yourself.
No one becomes a CEO overnight. If you have big dreams, you’re
going to have to do big work to accomplish them. It’s okay to take time
figuring out the best way to proceed, but it’s not okay to walk away because
it’s challenging.
Be proud of
yourself for every small win.
Have you ever noticed how a small mistake can weigh on you for
days? Whether or not you categorize yourself as a dramatic person doesn’t
matter when it comes to the guilt we so often put upon ourselves. But when we
make small strides in achieving our goal(s), we never seem to give ourselves
much respect. When we fail to pat ourselves on the back for little victories,
it decreases our motivation and makes it much harder to achieve big goals.
Remember that
you aren’t the first to feel this way.
When we face difficult choices or events in our lives, we often
forget that we are not the first/only/last to experience this. Everyone faces
hard decisions – be it deciding to end a relationship, changing careers, moving
to a different place and leaving friends behind…we all go through it. So don’t
be afraid to reach out to your friends or family for a sounding board. In some
cases, they may even be able to offer you advice you wouldn’t have thought of
otherwise.
Know that you
will grow as a person just from going through it.
Another thing we forget when overwhelmed with a challenging
situation? That we build character through those hard times. The old cliche,
“what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” is true. When you go through something
challenging, you learn from it, regardless of the outcome. Recognize the
opportunities for learning and personal development.
Remember that
you have choices.
No matter how hard the challenge you’re facing may be, one of
the best things you can focus on is that you have choices. Only you can decide
how you handle something and the steps you take. More so, only you can decide
how you take the next step. You have the power to stand in your own way and to
get out of it. Allow yourself to stay motivated by choosing to
be stay motivated.
Heather Poole
http://www.lifehack.org/606996/how-not-to-give-up-at-the-most-difficult-time?ref=mail&mtype=newsletter_tier_2&mid=20170626&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=click
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