BOOK SUMMARY 377
The Schmuck in
My Office
- Summary
written by: Kenn
Manzerolle
"It’s
easy to get angry and label someone a jerk or a schmuck. It’s much harder to
try to understand the underpinnings of why he or she approaches the situation
that way."
- The Schmuck in My Office, page 7
In The Schmuck in My Office: How to Deal
Effectively with Difficult People at Work, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry
and author Dr. Jody Foster has put together a tremendous resource of both
clinical and practical experience in dealing with behavioral and personality
dysfunction, and ties this into many workplace situations. The title of the
book grabbed my attention and made me want to read it, in the hope of better
understanding the types of people I have worked with in the past, and what I
could have done better in my dealings with them. The book, though, gains its power
and effectiveness not from identifying problematic behaviors and the different
people who exhibit them, but rather from its ability to open our eyes to the
potential influences that drive workplace discord.
The
Golden Egg
No one
WANTS to be disruptive
"These descriptions are not meant to lead you to
overdefine or pigeonhole the people around you—they are simply presented to
guide you in understanding and handling aspects of your relationships with
them. Perhaps most important, in beginning to understand people, you can feel
more empathy for their situations and why they may act as they do."-
The Schmuck in My Office, page 9
As Dr. Foster repeatedly states, the goal of
the book is never to diagnose and treat issues, but to help us understand the
diverse types of dysfunction that may be present in the workplace and some of
the factors that lead to it. The reader is not to bring the book to work and
label people or issues, but, rather, through a series of examples we can try to
understand and begin to identify ways to better interact and engage with one
another.
The types of Schmucks are:
- The
Narcissus
– someone with an over-developed sense of entitlement, who is
self-centered, condescending, and attention seeking.
- The
Venus Flytrap
– someone who is over-dramatic and inconsistent in reaction, and keeps
everyone on edge.
- The
Swindler
– someone who comes across as “slick” and manipulative.
- The
Bean Counter
– someone who is so obsessed with order or perfection to such a degree
that they cannot handle not being in total control.
- The
Distracted
– someone who is constantly focused on everything else but their work, and
who struggles with procrastination.
- Hyde – someone who
has a completely different personality and one that is the opposite of
their usual behavior (similar to an addict in that respect).
- The
Lost
– someone who exhibits memory loss, loss of language or even judgement
skills.
- The
Robotic
– someone who appears unemotional or hard to read and just can’t connect
with others.
- The
Eccentric
– someone who has difficulty relating to others because of their own view
of the world, one which others may find odd.
- The
Suspicious
– someone who is constantly feeling that there is a conspiracy against
them and alienates others via paranoia.
The reality is that this list contains
elements that are often outside of the person’s control—some factors are
biological, environmental, or even cultural. While none of these are inherently
bad, if they aren’t kept in check they can manifest into larger and potentially
more serious issues.
The other point that Dr. Foster brings up is
that often the problem may lie with us, in our inability to understand others
and ourselves, and that may cause the stress and anxiety that creates the
dysfunction. Therefore, before we assume the issues we may face are someone
else’s fault, we need to turn inward and look in the mirror.
Gem #1
Do
something
"Avoiding a pattern of behavior will not cause it to
magically disappear but will instead allow it to fester."- The Schmuck
in My Office, page 27
As with any problematic behavior or
situation, the most important thing we can do is act—but not just act, but as
quickly and as close to the initial occurrence of the behavior as possible.
Too often there is a fear of confrontation, even a hope that things will
blow over or correct themselves, but this usually leads to an increased level
of frustration for everyone. The person who displays the disruptive behavior
may not even be aware there is an issue, and those who see it and know that
nothing is being done about it begin to lose trust in the organization.
If the disruptive behavior is serious and
dangerous, then immediate action is critical, whereas if the behavior is of a
less-serious nature (even merely inconvenient or unpleasant) a more moderate
action is appropriate. Again, the key is confronting the offending behavior and
working towards a solution. The behavior is what needs to change, and the focus
needs to be on that instead of the individual.
Gem #2
Communication
is key
"Workplace relationships are just another type of
relationship between people, and they need to be built on openness and
communication. We need to be honest with ourselves and with each other."-
The Schmuck in My Office, page 303
Regardless of which type of disruptive
behavior you are seeing, according to Dr. Foster the critical element is clear
and consistent communication. This may be done upfront with expectations laid
out and standards of conduct that are clearly defined, in a way that no one can
claim they were not aware, and as such can have no excuses. Other suggestions
include direct conversations with a focus on the behavior and resulting impact,
not only on the business but on all effected parties. Tactics include
everything from simple conversations, casual coffee meetings and discussions,
to the more formalized documented meetings with mangers and HR, to even
medical/psychiatric interactions depending upon the magnitude of the workplace
issue. For some, the direct approach is welcome, and for others it may only fan
the flames and increase the tension. Regardless, effective communication,
either in verbal or written form, solidifies the need to be clear for all
parties to be successful.
Considering the title of the book, you might
expect that The Schmuck in My Office would be cheeky and full of
somewhat humorous advice, but it contains helpful information for anyone who
deals with people and wants to be successful. Through clear and useful
examples, Dr. Foster creates an essential handbook that provides clinical
background and insights into factors that create interpersonal tension and the
impacts that it can have in our organizations.
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