BOOK SUMMARY 322 Feminist Fight Club
·
Summary written by: Sara Saddington
“And yet each of us, in every field, in every
role, was stumbling into gender land mines at seemingly every turn—and often
ones we didn’t even know existed. It was like trying to dodge the stench that
lurks on a New York City street on a hot summer night: there you were, minding your
own business, and BAM.”
- Feminist Fight Club, page xvi
I first heard about Feminist Fight Club on
one of my favorite podcasts: Call Your
Girlfriend. Hosts Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow were
interviewing the author, Jessica Bennett, and talking about their tactics for
dealing with sexism in the workplace. The conversation was candid, funny, and
exhausting (seriously, every woman I know has some anecdotal evidence of sexism
in the workplace, and that just makes me tired), and I knew I
wanted to pick up a copy.
The book is a charming, sometimes hilarious, sometimes
dead-serious blend of memoir and self-help. Bennett’s stories about herself and
the women she champions are personal and filled with great advice. The book
includes illustrations, factoids, quotes, and yes, even cursing (which was no
issue for me; after 10 years in the—sometimes sexist—service industry, there’s
a special place in my heart for people who curse when warranted). Bennett arms
the reader with fight moves that can be used against workplace sexism, to
create a more inclusive workplace for everyone.
The Golden Egg
Understanding and Uncovering Deep Bias, Not Fighting Each
Other
"Recognizing sexism is harder than it once was. Like
the micro-aggressions people of colour endure daily—racism masked as subtle
dismissals—today’s sexism is insidious, causal, politically correct, even
friendly. It is a kind of can’t-put-your-finger-on, not-particularly-overt,
hard-to-quantify, harder-even-to-call-out behavior that maybe isn’t necessarily
intentional, or conscious. Sometimes women exhibit it too. None of that makes
it any less damaging."- Feminist Fight Club, page xxii
I’m aware, as I’m sure Bennett is, that just using the
words “feminism” and “patriarchy” feels aggressive to some people. I’m not one
of those people. But the book lays out a straightforward answer to those sorts
of objections. The tactics that Bennett provides for combating sexism in the
world and workplace are all strategies creating a more egalitarian environment
for everyone. The fight is against the construct and manifestation of
patriarchy, not against individuals.
We can all get better at navigating our workplaces,
regardless of our gender expression, and understanding the biases we have
(often unconsciously). The key is to recognize that becoming aware of our
behavior, and correcting it when needed, is not a personal failing. Look around
your workplace: are men in the C-Suite while women primarily run the
administration? Do you hear water-cooler talk about your breastfeeding
co-worker getting “special treatment”? Are all of your staff development events
focused entirely on playing beer-pong or going to sporting events? Start to
look for opportunities to change those behaviors. Sexism and bias in the
workplace can be subtle and insidious. By simply becoming more aware of the way
it can manifest in the workplace, you can start to contribute to a solution.
Gem #1
Beware the Manterrupter
"We speak up in a meeting, only to hear a man’s
voice boom over ours. We chime in with an idea, perhaps a tad too
uncertainly—and a dude interjects with authority. We may have the ideas, but he
has the vocal cords—causing us to clam up, lose our confidence, or cede credit
for our work."- Feminist Fight Club, page 7
The book lists many examples of workplace sexism, and
provides solutions, or “fight moves” to help overcome them. Watch out for the
Bropropriator, the Mansplainer, and the Womenemy. Perhaps the most easily
recognizable is the “Manterrupter”: a person who frequently speaks over others
in meetings. Bennett uses the example of Kanye West grabbing the microphone
from Taylor Swift at the 2008 VMAs, so that he could launch into a monologue
about himself, despite the fact that she was the award winner.
Classic manterruption.
Bennett gives four tactics to fight against this behavior
in the workplace:
·
Verbal chicken: stay strong
and keep talking. Throw in some side-eye, and make it clear
that you’re not finished. Don’t back down.
·
Womanterruption: Speak up when you see this happening to your
colleagues. “Wait, can you let her finish?”
·
Lean In (Literally): Use body language to assert yourself.
·
Kanye-Free Zone: Are you running the meeting? Make it a policy that
interruptions will not be tolerated.
Being interrupted constantly is a demoralizing
experience, and I love the simplicity of these four tactics for minimizing
interruptions in the workplace, which can easily be applied in your next
meeting.
Gem #2
Pay Me!
"There’s no easy way around it: negotiating sucks.
It’s difficult, anxiety-inducing, awkward, risky—no matter your gender. Some
people are good at it, a few may even enjoy it, but most people I know would
rather do almost anything else (and in fact we often do avoid it, at great
cost."- Feminist Fight Club, page 197
The wage gap is one of the most frustrating elements of
the modern workplace for me. Pair that with the “pink tax” (i.e. higher prices
for personal care products, dry-cleaning, etc. that are specifically marketed
to women), and the result is a systemic economic disadvantage for women. We
often hear that women make approximately 78 cents on the dollar compared to
men—a frustrating statistic on its own, and even more disheartening when you
pay attention to the fact that women of colour typically make even less.
The last time I was in a position to negotiate a pay
increase, I felt so nervous and sick about it that I almost abandoned the task.
I was also fairly certain that my (male) predecessor, who was let go for poor
performance, had been making more money than me, despite my own glowing
reviews. The modest increase wasn’t even close to what I’d been hoping for, but
I was so nervous about the process that I enthusiastically accepted the
low-ball increase and silently kicked myself later for being such a pushover.
Bennett outlines a fantastic cheat sheet for negotiating
a raise, complete with sample language to practice ahead of the meeting,
follow-up steps, and countering objections. I wish I’d had this handy when I
was negotiating. We all (yes men too) need to do our part to fight the wage
gap. Whether that means trying to negotiate a raise, disclosing your salary to
team members or others in your field, or recommending outstanding members of
your team for a promotion, Bennett makes it clear that there is at least one
actionable step you can take today.
Feminist Fight Club is funny, charming, sometimes infuriating, and always
entertaining. What I love about Bennett’s approach is that the book is packed
with actionable steps to combat sexism and bias in the workplace. For anyone
who has felt the discomfort of working in an environment that felt even vaguely
sexist (which is, unfortunately, almost all the women I know), this book will
arm you with strategies to recognize, call out, and begin to change sexist
behavior. These tactics also extend to other biased behavior—implicit racism,
ageism, ableism, or subtle discrimination that may be playing out in the
workplace. Regardless of your position, a more inclusive working environment
creates better opportunities for everyone.
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