BOOK SUMMARY 321
The Business of
Kindness
·
Summary written by: Sara Saddington
“Kindness takes words like “caring” and
“respect” to the next level—into action. When we say “be kind” or “show
kindness,” we understand what that means immediately.”
- The Business of Kindness, page xv
In The Business of Kindness: Twelve Habits that
Build Collaborative Cultures, bestselling author Olivia McIvor demonstrates
the value of kindness, not merely as a way to feel good about ourselves, but as
a sound professional investment. Kindness is much more than a personality
trait—it is a skill that can be honed and improved. McIvor demonstrates that
there is a huge return on investment in implementing people initiatives that
focus on kindness in the workplace—“workplace violence and bullying are major
contributors to stress in the workplace, and can dramatically impact the bottom
line of an organization” (38). With an increasing focus on wellness initiatives
and employee engagement, it can be difficult for organizations to know where to
start. Kindness is a universal concept that can be easily grasped at all
levels, and may provide the framework to create happier, healthier, more
engaged teams.
The Golden Egg
Three Themes of a Kinder Workplace
"We all know what it means to be kind — how it feels
to be the recipient of a kind act — and the rewards of committing a random or
conscious act of kindness upon another human being. It does not take days of
training seminars or piles of manuals to teach people how to be kind to one
another. Kindness is something that each and every person knows how to do and
can appreciate across all cultures, religions, genders and age barriers."-
The Business of Kindness, page 55
McIvor defines three key themes that support a kinder
workplace: kindness to oneself, kindness to colleagues, and kindness in the
community. Each of the themes is broken down into traits and behaviors that can
be cultivated over time.
Kindness to Oneself: By beginning with self-worth and
building a strong foundation, one is then capable of expressing kindness to
others. Traits of kindness to oneself include: authenticity, attitude,
resilience, and excellence. Just as we are instructed on airplanes to put
oxygen masks on ourselves before helping others, we must learn to be kind to
ourselves before we can fully exhibit kindness to others.
Kindness to Colleagues: By focusing on treating others
with mutual care and respect, we foster team work and collaboration. Traits of
kindness to colleagues include: trust, compassion, courage, and friendship.
When you trust and respect your colleagues, you can get a lot more done. It
seems obvious in the moment when you are working with kind, respectful people
(shoutout to the Actionable team!), but thinking back to other places I worked
where animosity or contempt were features of the culture, it’s clear that we
spent a great deal of energy navigating drama and walking on eggshells—energy
that would have been better spent getting the work done.
Kindness in the Community: Expanding our efforts to be
kind beyond our immediate work and life can have profound impact on our sense
of purpose. Traits of kindness in the community are: service, responsibility,
integrity, and tolerance. In the hustle of day to day life, it is easy to get
caught up in an echo chamber of self-importance. I, for example, spend most of
my days reading and writing—two of my favorite things in the world—and being
able to do both at an advanced level is a privilege. I’m embarrassed to admit
how far into my 20s I was before I realized many communities suffer from low
rates of literacy, and started thinking about how to pitch in.
Gem #1
Listening is Kind
"Experience has taught me that people would rather
have a conversation with a great listener than a great talker."- The
Business of Kindness, page 78
In the chapter on Kindness to Oneself, McIvor identifies
Attitude as an important element to cultivate. A positive attitude is
infectious, and it is also a choice. We can choose to be present and engaged,
or to be closed off from our surroundings. Becoming a better listener is one
way to be more present in the moment, and to contribute to your team in a
meaningful way.
McIvor provides a fantastic list of techniques to help
improve listening skills :
·
Show respect for colleagues’ ideas and
suggestions
·
Don’t assume you are a good listener because
you can hear. Ensure listening time exceeds talk time.
·
Avoid putting words in the speaker’s mouth or
interrupting
·
Listen equally to everyone regardless of
their position in the company
·
Don’t change the topic when talking to
someone
·
Make comfortable eye contact
·
Honor what the speaker has to say without
judgment or condemnation
·
Use encouraging language to keep the flow
going
·
Disengage from all interruptions to stay
present.
Listening intently to others will give you the best
information to get the job done effectively, and will reinforce a positive
attitude (which others will certainly notice as well).
Gem #2
The Five-Coin Challenge
"It takes time to cultivate compassion. We need to
be patient and give ourselves permission to reach out rather than shut down
when faced some unfamiliar emotion, event or person that makes us
uncomfortable."- The Business of Kindness, page 126
The five-coin challenge is simple: place five coins in
your pocket or on one side of your desk. Each time you do something kind for
someone, move one coin into your other pocket or onto the other side of your
desk. The coins are a reminder, and a way to keep score with yourself about how
kind you are actively being to the people you interact with. Compliment a
co-worker on a job well done, ask how you can help, acknowledge when things
aren’t going well, or just take a moment to share your feelings. The coins will
help you keep track, and challenge yourself to seek out new opportunities to be
kind.
Using the five-coin challenge as my framework, over the
holidays I sought out opportunities to extend kindness and well-wishes to
strangers, as well as to my friends and family. I told retail clerks that they
were doing a great job, complimented a woman on the street on her style, went
out of my way to help parents pick up stray mittens, and bought coffee for
strangers. They were small gestures that made me feel great—a feeling I carried
with me to my work. Actively seeking more opportunities to exercise those
instincts was a revelation—there are always opportunities to reach out and make
a kind connection, but they must be sought out.
I’ve always thought of myself as a kind person, but
reading this book made me realize that there are a lot of ways I can improve. I
also learned that kindness is about a lot more than simply feeling good (though
that is an added benefit)—there are massive benefits to productivity that can
result from seeking out opportunities to be kind. Individuals at all levels of
an organization can benefit from initiatives that encourage people to be
kinder—to themselves, to their colleagues, and to their communities. Leaders
looking for ideas to launch an programs with their teams will find plenty of
ideas to get them started in The Business of Kindness.
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