WHY YOU SHOULD STOP TRYING TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES
A
NEW STUDY SHOWS THAT REMEMBERING PAST MISTAKES CAN IMPACT YOUR SELF-CONTROL AND
DECISION-MAKING.
Remembering the
past can negatively impact your self-control and decision-making process. In
fact, we often don’t learn from our mistakes—we repeat them if we think about
them too much, according to a study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology.
"Be very
careful when you dig up the past," says Kelly Haws, a professor of marketing at Vanderbilt Owen Graduate
School of Management and lead author of the study. "For the most part, it
isn’t helpful when you’re facing a current decision, and trying to learn from
your mistakes can be a very ineffective way to change future behavior for the
better."
In an
experiment, Haws and her colleagues divided participants into four groups. The
first group was asked to remember two situations where they practiced
self-control and were successful; a second group was asked to recall 10 times
they practiced successful self-control; a third group was asked to think about
two times when they made poor choices; and a fourth group was asked to bring to
mind 10 previous mistakes.
PEOPLE CONSTANTLY
REWRITE THE STORIES THEY TELL THEMSELVES ABOUT THEMSELVES, MAKING RECALL AN
UNRELIABLE TOOL FOR IMPROVEMENT.
Then Haws gave
participants a budget and asked them how much they would spend on an item they
wanted, such as a pair of shoes, handbag, or video game. The participants who
had been asked to recall two instances of success were the only group that
spent within their allotted budgets. The other three groups exhibited poorer
self-control, all splurging on items they couldn't afford.
The findings
reveal the relationship between recall and self-control, says Haws: "The
most surprising result was that searching through the past can negatively
affect behavior, even when past examples are positive. People constantly
rewrite the stories they tell themselves about themselves, making recall an
unreliable tool for improvement."
Trying to
remember 10 examples of good financial decisions might be a struggle, and that
can lead someone to doubt their abilities. "You start to use that
difficulty you're having as a cue for who you are and what you're like,"
she says.
Instead of
using the past as a tool for improvement, Haws says her study suggests that
setting goals for the future is a more productive way to positively change
present behavior.
If you want
better self-control, look forward and not back, Haws says. Before making a
decision, don’t ruminate on past choices.
"Think
positively about why you don’t want to eat that cookie, for example," she
says. "Is it because you want to stay slim and healthy, or avoid the sugar
energy crash you know is coming? Look forward to the reasons why you’re making
tough choices. You don’t buy the $700 boots, because you want to go on that
trip to Europe. You study instead of party because you want a good score on the
test. It’s generally a more effective way to try to make decisions."
The only caveat
to leaving the past behind is if you can quickly recall successes without
putting too much thought into it, says Haws. "People asked to remember two
instances of smart spending might think they make great choices, since the
recall felt easy," she says.
Focusing on
past mistakes—whether it’s two or 10—can make you feel down. "Several
studies have robust findings that if you’re in a bad mood or experiencing
negative emotions, it lessens your self control," says Haws. "You’ll
do something that makes you feel good in the short term in an attempt to repair
your mood. That’s why they call shopping ‘retail therapy.’"
While we’ve all
been told that it’s important to learn from your mistakes, recalling them makes
us internalize them and think of ourselves as people who do negative behaviors,
says Haws.
"They
become self-fulfilling behaviors," she says. "You start to tell
yourself, ‘That’s what I do, so I might as well do it again.’ It’s better to
let that go, and focus on the future."
BY STEPHANIE VOZZA
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