3 WAYS TO GET ALONG WITH THAT IRRITATING COWORKER
YOU
DON’T HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE, BUT YOU DO
SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH THEM. HERE'S HOW TO DEAL.
We
all have colleagues like this—the guy who doesn’t know the
difference between their and they’re, the woman who "ums"
her way through a presentation, and the temp with a laugh that sounds
like a machine gun.
You
don’t have to like everyone you work with, but negative feelings
left unchecked can adversely affect your team and, in turn, your
career, says Liane
Davey, vice president of team solutions at
Knightsbridge Human Capital in Toronto.
Davey
recently explored
this topic from a management perspective for
the HarvardBusiness
Review.
Here are some tips to try when that person’s working your last
nerve.
1. FIGURE OUT WHAT’S REALLY BOTHERING YOU
If
you find yourself muttering phrases like: "He makes me so
angry," or "She drives me nuts," Davey says it’s
time to change your thinking. "Recognize that anger,
frustration, or mistrust is your reaction, and that no one has the
ability to make you feel something without your consent," she
says.
Instead
of getting upset, she adds, spend some time getting to the root of
your frustration to find out what it is about this person you find so
grating.
"The
question I always consider is, ‘What don’t I like about this
person?’" says Sara Sutton Fell, CEO of FlexJobs,
a job
site for telecommuting positions
based in Boulder, Colorado. If it’s a personal issue, Fell suggests
limiting the amount of time you spend together to tasks or work
projects where you’re both working on a common goal. That way,
you’re more focused on the task instead of their annoying habit.
2. FIND COMMON GROUND
While
it may seem counterintuitive, increasing your time with the annoying
person can help your interaction, Davey says. If you don’t have a
poker face, chances are you’re giving signals that you’re
uncomfortable, or you don’t like being around that person.
Davey
suggests starting the conversation with something like: "You and
I haven’t had much of an opportunity to get to know one another.
What are the most important things to know about you?"
"Finding
some common ground will make it easier to put yourself in that
person’s shoes the next time they are driving you up a wall,"
says Kelly Poulson, vice president of talent and operations at Allen
& Gerritsen,
a Philadelphia-based advertising agency. Are you both dog lovers? Do
you share a secret love of reality shows? Spending a few minutes
getting to know the person will pay off in the long run, she says.
3. ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE
Instead
of focusing on the negative, try shifting your attention to what the
person does well or what you like about them, Davey suggests. Do they
make positive contributions to the group you want to encourage, like
offering excellent customer service or exhibiting great presentation
skills?
Even
if these skills are overapplied, they present an opportunity to
encourage positive behavior while pointing out when it may be a
little over the top.
BY LINDSAY
LAVINE
http://www.fastcompany.com/3039129/3-ways-to-get-along-with-that-irritating-coworker?utm_source=mailchimp&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=fast-company-daily-manual-newsletter&position=anjali&partner=newsletter&campaign_date=12012014
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